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Original poster

Son got paid today, gambled all his wages and lost

53 replies

Yespresh · 28/06/2021 22:42

Made a bet on a EURO “dead cert”. He gambled £1000 to win £100 and lost. He came to us and said he has a gambling problem. He is 26. His mental health problems have been going on for 10 years. I just dont know what to do anymore. We have been down various routes - GP, meds, counselling. He doesn’t change.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 28/06/2021 22:54

Get him to sign up to GAMSTOP ASAP

www.gamstop.co.uk/

Few other links for advice / support.

www.begambleaware.org/

www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/

www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Flowers
CassandraTrotter · 28/06/2021 22:57

We have been down various routes - GP, meds, counselling. He doesn’t change.
Of course he doesn't change . He is an addict. Go back to GP for a referral. What did the GP do last time?

Original poster
Yespresh · 29/06/2021 17:53

Put him on meds that made him vomit and fall asleep all the time.

OP posts:
DelilahDingleberry · 29/06/2021 17:55

On meds for a gambling addiction? Has he had specialist addiction service input?

FusionChefGeoff · 29/06/2021 18:00

Gamblers Anonymous is worth looking into so he can address the root issues that drive the addiction.

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2021 18:02

He's admitted he's an addict. That's the first step. He's come to you for help, that's the second step. Now you help him. Others will be able to advise much better than I can about how to help him.

This must be so hard for all of you Thanks

HollyBollyBooBoo · 29/06/2021 18:06

Gambling is a fucking horrific addiction. Have a frank conversation with him about the state of his finances. He'll probably have a stack of debt either on cards, loans or to mates.

Can his wages be paid into your account so he can't access it?

Get him to GA or to private therapy ASAP.

mrstea301 · 29/06/2021 18:12

There's a good podcast that I listen to, called Blethered, and they've done a few good episodes around gambling addiction, depression and debt issues, it might be worth listening to some of them? Addicts talk about coping strategies and how they managed to deal with it. I'm so sorry that this has happened but hopefully now he has come to you, things can start getting sorted out.

Soozikinzi · 29/06/2021 18:44

Gamblers anonymous are excellent a friend of mine had to help her son . They were great . His was also football gambling on his phone . It must be getting very common. At one point he had to give up his bank card and his girlfriend just gave him the cash he needed each day .

Soozikinzi · 29/06/2021 18:45

Just hope you can find the help he needs as soon as possible.

VettiyaIruken · 29/06/2021 18:46

Is he wanting you to bail him out?

Original poster
Yespresh · 03/07/2021 09:41

Morning. Just an update. He wont be bailed out. He has done it twice before and was warned we wouldnt do it again. He has two weeks off work from today and I have loads of stuff he can do in the garden to make some money. Have told him this.

I sent him the links as
suggested. Thank you. He has had chronic mental health issues for years. He wont help himself sadly.

OP posts:
Sadgirl28 · 03/07/2021 10:09

Hey , sorry about your son !!! The best thing he can do it put a block on gambling websites with his name , maybe you can do it together ? GameStop ? It stops all gambling websites and he cannot register on any of the websites after he’s applied the GameStop , it only takes a minute to get it blocked ? Please please do that , it’s the only thing that can help him stop gambling ! Many gamblers only play online , but obviously he could still go to betting shops and play there but it’s much harder and people can’t be bothered to go just to play . Online it’s so easy to spend money so GameStop and that’s one problem sorted ,iv been there and that’s the only thing that helped , good luck xx

Sadgirl28 · 03/07/2021 10:10

OP , maybe you can do it yourself for him and apply for GameStop ? It really only takes 1 minute but it’s better if you do it together as you need his email address and few details xx

Sadgirl28 · 03/07/2021 10:12

I have had the same issue with gambling and couldn’t stop gambling ! Blocking web web sites and always found other websites to register on but now I have GameStop , it won’t let me register on any gambling website at all so I have to choice but to stop gambling as I have no other way to gamble .

Sadgirl28 · 03/07/2021 10:13

The website is here
www.gamstop.co.uk/

Howcanthisbe123 · 03/07/2021 10:14

Gambled 1000 for just 100 back, can he see that it doesn’t make sense?

I don’t understand a gambling addition as I don’t have any experience with it but it must be horrible. I hope he finds a solution, but with any addiction you can’t help those who won’t help themselves.

StillUpholding · 03/07/2021 10:23

There’s an organisation called GamAnon who support the families of those with gambling addiction who are fantastic. They are there to help you whether or not your DS is ready to stop or not. Not sure if their meetings will be running at the moment, but have a look at their website where there is some good advice.

If you can get your son to GA that is his best chance of getting it under control. Our gambler had little success via the GP or counselling services, but GA worked for him and he hasn’t gambled in years, completely turning his life around. Good luck.

Original poster
Yespresh · 03/07/2021 17:45

He has signed up to Gamstop. Thank you. Need him to delete everything.

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 03/07/2021 17:53

Please make sure all other devices are similarly blocked. An addict will always try to find a way. Remove the temptation.

Seasidemumma77 · 03/07/2021 17:58

@Yespresh just wanted to say you must be fantastic parents if your son was able to be honest about his gambling addiction. Really hope he can access the help he needs.

Elderflower2016 · 03/07/2021 18:02

This must be so hard for you. Looks like there is lots of helpful suggestions here to try to address the gambling. Do you have any idea of what might be the root of the addiction/ mental health difficulties?

Sadgirl28 · 03/07/2021 18:03

@Yespresh well done for doing this and putting GameStop in place Smile now he cannot register on any betting or gambling website it will say he is excluded from all sites when he tries . So he had no choice but to stop , he will not be able to log into any of his gambling sites anymore . So tahts great ! Trust me this will help massively !

Original poster
Yespresh · 09/07/2021 18:53

Thank you but I presume he can just open a new email account and start again? I do t know.

Why he has issues? I have absolutely no idea. We have issues with both our children. Very, very different issues. We just support him as much as we can. I would say he is on the spectrum somewhere but doesn’t tick all the boxes.

OP posts:
wedswench · 09/07/2021 18:57

Yea he could just get a separate phone and new email and start again.

I too would recommend gamblers anon. He can access a sponsor and go from there.

Can he divert his wage to you to pay bills and give him cash as pocket money for essentials while he works things out.

You are a good mum, he's come to you and that speaks volumes