Please someone talk to me

[babyblues21]

I have awful post natal depression and no family around. Me and partner not getting on. I can't get through to my MH support team. My baby is 8 weeks. I'm just sat here alone on the floor with my baby. Someone please talk to me I can't do this anymore

Can you contact the community midwife and see if she can help?

Ahh lovely, you can do this truly you can. I’m always here, please pm if you need to. Will write a bit more but want to post this straight away.

Oh sweetheart I remember it well.

Can you get out in the fresh air? Find a podcast with a positive message (I like Ferne Cotton's Happy Place) and take baby for a walk. It's a massive effort to leave the house but it should help.

I've been where you are and it's hell.

Can you call Crisis or the Samaritans OP?

You poor thing how hellish to feel this way. You can do this though, you really can. Keep trying the MH support team. You've got this. Virtual hand holding here.

Can you try the hv? They can offer support

If you are really struggling, wrap baby up and get straight to gp, a&e, community MH, any nhs site tbh where you will both be safe and supported. You have to baldly state the truth of how bad it is as nobody is a mind reader but there IS help.
If it’s not as dire as to need that, thank goodness, can I suggest you maybe have a bath with baby, skin on skin, to help you both and even a good cry, a walk with pushchair, it’s hard but these little things will all help in little ways when the day seems like it is never ending and sadness or blankness seems overwhelming.

Hello, first time ever I've posted on here, was just upset to see your message. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way - I had PND after my first baby, 18 years ago, and it's such a lonely place. Talk to us about how you're feeling. Is there a friend you can phone? Just hearing a caring voice always helps, and as, others have said, if you can face taking the baby out for some fresh air that might help. Sending massive hug. xx

Have you spoken to your GP? Ask for counselling and links to a PND support group.

It will pass, hold on tight and you’ll get through it

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, things will get better. You've had some better advice from others who have gone through it but I didn't want to read and run!

I've not suffered from PND but have depression and have been in a place where I felt I just couldn't continue but things have got much better. Keep fighting, you will get there

Please let us all know you are ok and for you, it’s a rough time but it will pass xx

Hi Babyblues21, I’m another one out the other side of it and wanting to say it will pass in time and you and your wonderful baby will be ok. I found trying to have a routine and making endless lists helped tether me. Getting out for a small walk helped though I was petrified of other people at my lowest. Do do get help from gp/hv as I wouldn’t be here without it. Lots of hugs

Please know it won't always feel this bad even if it feels hopeless now. Please ask for help.

I am here and we will all listen. Rant away if that helps.

Without pnd you are at the hardest part of having a baby. They are still tiny and feeding round the clock and you are lucky if you get a smile.

My first baby always greeted me with a scream as soon as he woke up.

Be kind to yourself right now. And if wearing yesterday's clothes is stopping you go out, I swear no one will notice of care.

Where are you based? Maybe we can help with suggestions for help?

And lastly - I had low moments with my screaming first baby. It did get better and having routines and still reasons to get out did help - even a quick walk to the shop!

Dear OP,

You really can do it. It is tough but you will get through it. Remember you never have to be perfect at mothering. Just muddling through is fine.

What way of muddling through works best for you? Staying home in PJs all day? Or getting out of the house with plenty of nappy changes and muslins for the baby?

I had PND. A lovely nanny I got to know said: go out every day - either to planned things like coffee mornings, breast feeding clinics etc or just to the shops or for a walk in the park. And once a day have a conversation with a grown up, ideally not all about babies. And once a week go out with DP or friends and don't mention baby things at all.

I found fresh air helped a lot.

Reduce pressure on other aspects of life. Buy ready meals, get a cleaner if you can afford one or just use the Organised Mum/Flylady basics to help you through.

Also, overplay your symptoms to GP. They fob off new mums. You need to make it clear that you are really struggling. There is help out there.

Sending you love and good wishes.

Ah OP, I remember the "baby blues" all too well

You are not alone

It does get better, I promise

Can you ring a friend, or any family for a chat?

It's so hard when baby is so small, you can't do much with them and you feel trapped

Is going for a walk an option? Get some fresh air, clear your head

If you don't have much local support, you could look at joining a parent and baby class to help you make some new friends

Please don't despair @babyblues21, brighter days are ahead

I’m so sorry you’re having such a crap time.

Is there anyone you can pick the phone up to? HV, midwife? Are there any groups running?

I was supposed to see some other mum friends today but I've cancelled as I feel soon I can't let them see me like this. I'm putting on a front all the time. I want to leave the house and never come back.

Me and partner argue constantly. I feel he hates me. I don't want to be around him anymore but I don't know how I will do this on my own without family nearby

I went to a friend's house yes that to watch the football. Their was an older man there who is morning the loss of his daughter who ended her life after suffering from post natal depression a few months ago. Apart from it being heartbreaking to hear (we got onto the topic as my own daughter is going through severe MH issues herself at the moment) he said that she recognised like you do that or was PND but hadn't got through to her Gp or the crisis line and hadn't felt listened to. He says they said that anyone in your situation should go to a and e. You don't need a broken leg / physical I just to go there. They will listen and they will put you in touch with the right people. I also found that to be true and incredibly comforting when I took my teen DD there recently after a v difficult MH episode. Please go on to seek further help. It's out there for you. There is no shame attached. It's so common x

Go and meet your friends. Tell them how you feel. You don’t have to put on a front all of the time, just talking to them will help. They will care

Sorry for the typos.. You can address your relationship issues afterwards. Just look after yourself for now.

You are at a really tough stage. Is there anyone you can chat to in RL? Family, GP, health visitor?

Do try to get out of the house if you feel able to. Go for a walk, pop to the shops, go to a park etc. It can feel so overwhelming and like you are trapped if you stay at home all day.

Ps it's really important you let your mum friends see you are feeling like this. People can only help and support you if they know how you really feel. I guarantee some of them are feeling exactly the same and it can feel so much better to share those feelings and know you are in the same boat.

A&E will see you with a mental health crisis. Please go there with your baby if you can’t get through to anyone xx