Health Anxiety - Part 5

[AJ297]

Sorry if someone else was going to do this, I just didn't want to lose you all 😂

@MrsWhites
@argueifnecessary
@tmh88
@Skyliner001
@TheSilentStars
@hildagardecrowe
@BigGreen
@goolies
@iamsodonewith2020
@KAP232
@polkadotpixie

Sorry if I missed anyone!

I had hypnosis too @tmh88 and it didn’t work either. Good you’re seeing GP next week. I’ve just phoned my surgery to request a call today and know I pissed off the receptionist. I’m a wreck though, can’t get out of bed and have no reason to apart from walking the dog. My life really has fallen apart because of this - off work, not seeing friends and just glad DD is away at uni and doesn’t have to witness the deterioration of her mother. Sorry to talk about myself but there’s no-one in RL I can confide in. Hope you’re all ok x

I’ve got muscular dysfunction, half my body is tighter than the other half it’s horrific. One side is so tight and the other really loose.

I’m currently at the hospital now waiting on a blood test, I feel like I’m going to throw up, so so anxious. Sat with my face mask on and feel like I can’t breathe 😩 x

Hang in there @EXA1912, at least you’ll get the result soon. Let us know how you get on. Face masks are horrible when you feel anxious; I find the paper ones are more bearable. Thinking of you x

@HildegardeCrowe it’s really hard isn’t it! I’m really struggling with furlough too much time at home to think! x

@EXA1912 hope all goes well today, thinking of you x

Thanks all, I’m not exactly anxious about the result to be honest...it’s to check if hcg is doubling meaning the pregnancy is probably viable or declining meaning I’d be waiting to miscarry. And well u no how anxious I am about the whole pregnancy anyway, I just want the baby but nothing else. They said if it’s doubled then they’d book me in for a scan then I’d be nervous because depending where it’s implanted means different potential complications 😩

So has anyone found anything that helps their health anxiety? I’ve only started cbt and it doesn’t seem to help me 😂

@HildegardeCrowe hope the results come back ok today, yeah I agree the paper face masks are easier I had to switch to one in the hospital because I couldn’t cope with the one I brought. Had my bloods taken now and back home worrying about my bowels now 🤦🏼‍♀️

@tmh88, yes being at home probably isn’t good for us! I hate being off sick and hope I can get back to work soon. @EXA1912 I’d suggest sticking with the CBT - it works differently for everyone. I’ve tried everything but not had any lasting success and am now waiting to see a psychotherapist privately. I’ve been referred on the NHS but won’t get seen until August. I think an understanding GP is key and meds can help but again work differently for everyone. So sorry that the pregnancy is so complicated, hope you get some answers soon.

And what’s going on with your bowels? Anxiety always messes with mine!

@EXA1912 no but I really need to find something that does! 😂 I’ve just bought another book on kindle, about health anxiety which I’m going to try read today! I really do need something though because it’s genuinely ruining my life and since DP said I was starting to get him down the other day I have properly realised just how much I have let this consume me x

@HildegardeCrowe it’s not! I’ve applied for so many jobs but not heard anything back!

What sort of work are you looking for @tmh88?

@HildegardeCrowe definitely going to give the CBT a go but sometimes I get annoyed thinking there is actually something wrong with me this time and she’s telling me it’s just my health anxiety. Sometimes I think I’m bang on the money with stuff.

I think it’s my muscles being stronger on one side and affecting my bowels I duno I’m going to ask the GP when I speak to her. I feel like my uterus is pressing on my bowel or something and making it harder for wind to pass through, constantly feel bloated. X

Just anything now really, I’ve applied for cleaning jobs, TA, admin etc! Works not picked up yet where I was, don’t want to post too much because it’s outing with my other posts 😂 but in a nutshell what I did before was organising of private works for companies and their account management for it! These companies aren’t properly open yet so no work for themselves, let alone me 👎🏻

GP practices are often looking for receptionists

• just go on NHS Jobs and see if there’s anything in your area.

Hi everyone,
I was lingering on other threads but didn't post much but always read and could always relate!
I had an abnormal ecg at doctors following feeling short of breath, this set my anxiety off so much. I've imagined all sort since. Today I have just received an appointment for a heart mri scan and it has set me off again. I am only 39 and have young children and I feel like I'm going to leave them behind. I work at the hospital and have done for over 20 years but just lately every time I read a referral I burst into tears. I am currently off sick as I suffered a panic attack at work and I am currently trialling citalopram.
Every time an advert comes on about cancer/heart problems i get a panicky feeling. I really hope the medication I've been prescribed starts to work soon.
to every one on here.

Hi @Justploddinhalong. Could have written half of your post. I work in a GP practice dealing with referrals and reading one last week caused me to have a panic attack too and I was sent home. I’m off work now for a month. I really believe working in healthcare has largely caused my HA. When is your heart scan? I hope you don’t have to wait too long and try not to google. How are you feeling physically and is there any family history?

And am also on Citalopram, not doing much yet but hanging in there.

@HildegardeCrowe thank you for replying. Heart scan is beginning of May, 3 weeks away yet. As soon as the post comes and I see the hospital stamp on I start panicking, such a horrible feeling. When reading about my abnormal ecg it does say that this can be caused by anxiety. It's just awful. I made myself believe I had bone cancer the other day and that I must have it somewhere else because it would be secondary. I don't have any family history of note and gp said all other observations like bloods, blood pressure are all normal but I just can't think like that - it's ruining my life. All my children see is me crying because I truly believe I have something wrong and I have symptoms (even though I do try to hide it from them). I've only been on citalopram for 3 days and it's actually made me feel worse but I'm going to persevere.
So sorry to hear you are feeling similar, it's just awful isn't it. Have you always suffered with health anxiety?

I also work in healthcare and I’m starting to wonder if I need a career change.

@Justploddinhalong I know exactly how you feel with the kids and leaving them behind. That’s how I feel too. The gynae issue I’ve been having at the moment I feel might just be something muscular or minor prolapse but it’s ruining my life and they won’t do anything fast about it as it’s not urgent. Now I’m pregnant it’ll be even less time it’s sorted 😩

Bloods came back, they’ve tripled, I’m booked for a scan on Sunday. I told her can they check my prolapse too she was like erm I guess so 👀

@Justploddinhalong, my brother is having a heart scan too soon and has a history of anxiety/depression and all his other obs were normal too. So his symptoms are very likely to be down to anxiety. It seems like everything will be normal, please try and distract yourself in the meantime. I’ve always been anxious but it was manageable; I’ve been dealing with hospital referrals for about 5 years now and my HA started to kick off about 2 years ago. In the last year it’s gone through the roof, I think exacerbated by Covid. Am not worried about catching Covid in the least; I’m worried about the affect it’s had on hospital services in case I have cancer! I really want to carry on in the job but don’t know if I’ll be able to.

It must be hard to manage this condition with young children. My daughter is at uni but it was hard recently to put on a brave face recently when she came back for the Easter hols. Citalopram will take some weeks to kick in and the first days can be tough. Stick with it, I know it works well for a lot of people. Are you on 10 or 20mg?

@EXA1912 there are several others of us here who work in healthcare so it seems to be a likely contributor to our problems. My bloods have come back normal but I’ve inevitably moved onto the next thing. So tired out by this all that can’t budge from the sofa and am still not dressed! Have hair appointment tomorrow so that’s something...

@HildegardeCrowe great news about the bloods. I’m so anxious for my scan on Sunday now. I asked the Gp if she’d ring me today but she said “I don’t think I’ll need to” the other day - honestly I’m so needy to her 🤦🏼‍♀️ Don’t think she’ll ring me but I’ve a lot of things to ask her 😩 I still feel like I need a hysterectomy too 😩 x

Oh no I just googled bowel endometriosis I definitely have it, I’m going to have to have a colostomy bag 😩 x

Thanks all, I feel more reassured that I have a normal neck now!

I've been thinking today about how many times I've been convinced I'm dying, where I've had very real symptoms and/or had referrals, must be at least 30+. And literally 0 of them have been anything to worry about, and I've managed to calm myself into wondering why now would be any different. I feel calmer today, and I think I could be on my way up...but then I get pain from the bruises I've left checking for lumps and panic again 😂

@EXA1912, thank you and good luck with the scan on Sunday. You said something earlier about CBT which I agree with. Our issue I believe is that we’re not imagining symptoms, they are real but it’s the way we react to them. So what you say @AJ297 is very helpful. Try to look back at when you were convinced something was wrong, the amount of referrals and the outcome (nothing wrong). It’s the same with me, I’d say dozens of GP consultations with some resulting in referral and to date I’ve been fine. The trouble is that I keep thinking I’ve just been lucky and sooner or later they’re going to find cancer.

So with the normal bloods my fear of blood cancer has gone, only to be replaced by convincing myself I have oral cancer as have have red area inside my cheek for a couple of weeks which I’ve of course googled and it may be a symptom of malignancy. Thoroughly exhausted with the continued anxiety and feel defeated. Just want to find some peace for at least a little while.....

I hope you all manage to relax a little this evening and thinking of you.