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Original poster

Does anyone else feel like suicide is the best option?

63 replies

starsstars123 · 26/03/2021 23:16

This sounds really awful and deep, but has anyone else felt like suicide is the only option at the moment? I'm so depressed and anxious and think there is no other way out of it. What's stopping people? How have people gotten out of this awful hole?

OP posts:
Fgs1 · 26/03/2021 23:21

Have you tried speaking to your GP or contacting Mind charity? There's always good days, always other options. CBT can help.

Leafstamp · 26/03/2021 23:23

I’ve felt suicidal before but so glad I never acted on it.

I think what stopped me was reading that it’s a permanent “solution” to a temporary problem.

How long have you felt like this OP and what’s stopped you up to this point?

Sending Flowers

mynamechangemyrules · 26/03/2021 23:49

I have absolutely felt like this, almost in a very practical way, 'well that would solve a lot of things!'.
But then I thought of the implications for my family and friends. It isn't a solution or full stop to anything, it's just the beginning of something far worse.

Do you have someone to talk to in real life? I sent a simple and unfinished/ unexplained text to a friend which got me back into talking to people.

Message me if you'd like.

Anordinarymum · 27/03/2021 01:28

I felt like this when my son died. I was lost. He was killed in a car crash so it came as a shock and i could not think clearly and wanted to die for quite a long time

What stopped me was knowing people needed me and that ending my life would cause pain to others.
It has taken a long time for me to be able to come to terms with what happened. Life is precious and things change to make you realise suicide is not an answer, and I am glad I stopped feeling so bad as it is draining and negative.

Maria53 · 27/03/2021 01:32

What stops me is the fact that each time I have felt that way, life has got better again.

I have had some very low points during this pandemic as a person living alone. But life will get much, much better and I think it isn't too far away.

I personally got out of the hole mainly through the support of friends and/or family. Is there someone you can talk to?

Finfintytint · 27/03/2021 01:38

This reply has been deleted

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MissPessyMistic · 27/03/2021 02:04

I’ve treated suicide as an object I carry around in my pocket. When things are bad I tell myself it’s there if I need it, but let’s keep going for now. Somehow I find that gets me through very rough times, but I can’t explain why.

The difficult thing is that when your depressed your mind is playing tricks on you, focussing in on the worst of life, and suppressing anything good. It is very hard in that moment to things will ever get better, but they do. Your mind will tell you that’s bullshit, your mind is wrong. And I say this as someone who has spent 25 years living with it.

blueshoes · 27/03/2021 02:10
Flowers
movinggoalposts · 27/03/2021 02:14

Have you also had your hormone levels checked and your thyroid? Either of those can throw me completely out of whack.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 27/03/2021 02:15

Yep — what's stopping me is that in my personal circumstances, I can't come up with a method that doesn't risk failure and therefore making things worse, and that I'm worried my parents would be badly affected by it.

Solidarity…

Absolutelyscunnered · 27/03/2021 02:31

@MissPessyMistic

I’ve treated suicide as an object I carry around in my pocket. When things are bad I tell myself it’s there if I need it, but let’s keep going for now. Somehow I find that gets me through very rough times, but I can’t explain why.

The difficult thing is that when your depressed your mind is playing tricks on you, focussing in on the worst of life, and suppressing anything good. It is very hard in that moment to things will ever get better, but they do. Your mind will tell you that’s bullshit, your mind is wrong. And I say this as someone who has spent 25 years living with it.

@MissPessyMistic I could have written your first paragraph.
Absolutelyscunnered · 27/03/2021 02:32

@starsstars123 so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low 💐

Phoenixrising2020 · 27/03/2021 03:29

You have made it this far, you owe it to yourself to keep going. You don't know what's ahead of you. You have been very brave to post this, it is a difficult subject. I have been where you are too and it is hell. The best thing that I did was fake it until I could make it. I made a point of trying to enjoy everything, it felt horrible and alien at first, but a week in I began to see the impact of the changes. Everyone around me was happier and I didn't feel as bad. I didn't want to do it at first but I realised that I was surrounding myself with positivity.

Truly, suicide is not the best answer. Your brain functions biologically and will respond well to positive experiences. Please try. Very well done for posting, right now you need those around you to help, including those of us who respond. When you're better, you may well offer sage advice to a poster in dire need. Please don't give in to this, it is your brain responding to all the negativity and uncertainty which surrounds us at he moment. Please don't give up. I found that forcing my brain to work positively acted almost like ECT, but the results took a bit longer. Don't forget to treat yourself kindly, you deserve it. You are currently unwell, maybe a call to your GP might help too. You will be in my thoughts.

Ritascornershop · 27/03/2021 03:36

I carry it around with me too. Two things keep me tethered; fear of physical pain and curiosity. As much as I tell myself I have no hope for anything improving, I must have a tiny scintilla of hope that something nice will start to happen.

Our lives can change quite quickly & it could be that your depression is situational- in which case hang on.

I’d also say that last year I read Lost Connections by Johann Hari and when things are bad I remind myself of what he found. It makes me feel better to remember it’s not that I’m not seeing things clearly, it’s that my depression is a logical response to a lot of shit happening. And that shit can change to roses.

Freyaismyname · 27/03/2021 03:40

You won't feel this way forever. Please believe that hard times come and go. I'm sorry you're feeling so low Thanks

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 27/03/2021 06:59

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

Leafstamp · 27/03/2021 17:26

How’s your day been @starsstars123?

Some wise words on here. You’re not alone, you can get through this.

I too did the “it’s an option available, but I’ll keep going for now”. And I’m so glad I did.

Keepyourdistance000 · 27/03/2021 17:28

When you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage with no way out, yes. For me anyway.

sugarlost · 27/03/2021 18:21

Anti depressants have helped me. I would advise you to contact your GP for support OP and also consider Talking Therapies. Every Mind Matters on NHS website would be good for you to view.
I still have suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts at times but I try and keep myself busy for positive distraction. Please reach out for support💐

@Keepyourdistance000 sorry to hear what you're going through. Contact Women's Aid and your GP for support... there is help out there so please reach out💐

Thinking of everyone going through a difficult time... you can feel happier with time and support.

AcornAutumn · 28/03/2021 00:04

@MissPessyMistic

I’ve treated suicide as an object I carry around in my pocket. When things are bad I tell myself it’s there if I need it, but let’s keep going for now. Somehow I find that gets me through very rough times, but I can’t explain why.

The difficult thing is that when your depressed your mind is playing tricks on you, focussing in on the worst of life, and suppressing anything good. It is very hard in that moment to things will ever get better, but they do. Your mind will tell you that’s bullshit, your mind is wrong. And I say this as someone who has spent 25 years living with it.

Brilliantly put. Reminds me of the Nietzsche quote but I won't put that here just in case.

Tbh I saw this thread yesterday and it's lucky it's still here.

Life has to be a choice.

At the moment, I've got that thing where I can't see anything happening next. Does anyone else get that?

I sometimes think it means I'm about to die too but that's okay in a que sera, sera, kind of way.

But thanks, yes, it's good to have someone say openly, it's an option but only if absolutely needed as the final resort. I won't start reciting Hamlet!

MandUs · 28/03/2021 22:36

My children's dad took his own life last year. I'm sure to him it felt like the best solution to his suffering. BUT all he did was transfer his own suffering onto a whole lot of other people and multiply it by 100. The pain and suffering he has caused his family, friends, work colleagues ect is unimaginable and unforgivable. All those people will pay for what he did for the rest of their lives. It's the most selfish thing someone can do. If you are that mentally unwell it might feel like you are doing other people a favour by dying but that is really really not how it works.

MotherofPoodles · 28/03/2021 22:58

@Finfintytint

Suicide is the ultimate selfish action. Fine if that’s your motivation. Better to seek help though. Speak to your GP, The Samaritans, friends or any other charity.
Selfish. You couldn't be further away from the truth. Educate yourself or learn to stay out of sensitive things you know nothing about.

Selfish, I really can't get my head around that. Do you tell depressed people to pull themselves together and anorexics there's people starving in Africa?

diwrnachoflleyn · 28/03/2021 23:00

Yes. Often enough. Only my DD keeps me here.

MotherofPoodles · 28/03/2021 23:13

@MissPessyMistic

I’ve treated suicide as an object I carry around in my pocket. When things are bad I tell myself it’s there if I need it, but let’s keep going for now. Somehow I find that gets me through very rough times, but I can’t explain why.

The difficult thing is that when your depressed your mind is playing tricks on you, focussing in on the worst of life, and suppressing anything good. It is very hard in that moment to things will ever get better, but they do. Your mind will tell you that’s bullshit, your mind is wrong. And I say this as someone who has spent 25 years living with it.

That saying is golden. It could help people, thinking like that. It will help me, thank you.

I promise myself when I fee suicidal that if I still feel like this, this afternoon I can go ahead and do it. Something shifts and I'm still here. Other times it's been so exhausting I wouldn't have the energy to do it.

I think living for some people is exhausting and agony and that people have the right to end their suffering when it just gets too much.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 28/03/2021 23:21

MandUs, how do you know it multiplied it by 100? You have no idea what's inside someone's head. TBH this argument always reminds me of the Le Guin short story, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, where a virus blissful existence depends on a single child being kept in utter misery (and of other examples of a similar conceit, but I think this is one of the best-known ones). Except you're asking the child to volunteer.