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Original poster

Does anyone else feel like suicide is the best option?

63 replies

starsstars123 · 26/03/2021 23:16

This sounds really awful and deep, but has anyone else felt like suicide is the only option at the moment? I'm so depressed and anxious and think there is no other way out of it. What's stopping people? How have people gotten out of this awful hole?

OP posts:
MotherofPoodles · 28/03/2021 23:21

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

Yep — what's stopping me is that in my personal circumstances, I can't come up with a method that doesn't risk failure and therefore making things worse, and that I'm worried my parents would be badly affected by it.

Solidarity…

Yes I totally understand this.
CurseMyTinyThumbs · 28/03/2021 23:22

Ugh. A city's blissful existence.

ClearMountain · 28/03/2021 23:23

I don’t have all the answers but I can tell you for sure that dying is worse than anything you might be dealing with. It’s painful and horrific, it’s a living hell and possibly a death sentence for your nearest and dearest, and if your attempt fails you could end up continuing to live but with life changing injuries to cope with. Time heals all wounds, you just have to let it.

MotherofPoodles · 28/03/2021 23:27

@MandUs

My children's dad took his own life last year. I'm sure to him it felt like the best solution to his suffering. BUT all he did was transfer his own suffering onto a whole lot of other people and multiply it by 100. The pain and suffering he has caused his family, friends, work colleagues ect is unimaginable and unforgivable. All those people will pay for what he did for the rest of their lives. It's the most selfish thing someone can do. If you are that mentally unwell it might feel like you are doing other people a favour by dying but that is really really not how it works.
I am so sorry you've had to support your daughter through the suicide of her dad. But please do not assume you know what he was thinking or feeling. Feel lucky you have no idea how it feels to be truly suicidal.
MotherofPoodles · 28/03/2021 23:29

@ClearMountain

I don’t have all the answers but I can tell you for sure that dying is worse than anything you might be dealing with. It’s painful and horrific, it’s a living hell and possibly a death sentence for your nearest and dearest, and if your attempt fails you could end up continuing to live but with life changing injuries to cope with. Time heals all wounds, you just have to let it.
Time heals all wounds, you just have to let it. Bloody hell I nearly choked to death on those words. Would that still be suicide?
eggyknife · 29/03/2021 00:13

Yes I have, ever since my partner ended his life.

The reasons he did it were fixable. Really fucking hard yes, but he could have overcome them.

What I'm left with is not. It's just something I'm now going to have to live with because I can't pass this pain on to anyone else. It's like a curse.

IndecentCakes · 29/03/2021 00:17

MissPessy - your words also resonate with me. But I have also found that life gets better again, and there are things I want to do. Yes, let us keep going...

Usernameucreate · 29/03/2021 01:17

Yes, I do feel like this at present. I have bipolar and I am really down. I think the pandemic is affecting people a lot. I won't act on the thoughts. They are there though.

Rookie93 · 29/03/2021 01:24

Wanted to let you know that your in my thoughts tonight and not alone with these feelings Flowers

shumway · 30/03/2021 11:54

I'm finding it really tough to believe the hold on, things get better line at the moment. Feel like I've been holding on for years now and if anything things get worse. I'm trying to do the I can't go on, I'll go on thing and when you're going through hell keep going but it is so hard.

badlydrawnbear · 30/03/2021 17:28

@shumway

I'm finding it really tough to believe the hold on, things get better line at the moment. Feel like I've been holding on for years now and if anything things get worse. I'm trying to do the I can't go on, I'll go on thing and when you're going through hell keep going but it is so hard.
I know the feeling. What keeps me going? Sometimes I just don’t know, I keep going but I don’t know why. My children. Sometimes I feel like they would be better off without me, that having no mummy would be better for them than having me, but sometimes I don’t believe that. Yesterday DC2 wrote a thing that said I am the best mummy and later talked about how sad she is that my mum’s dog has died (the dog died in December and DC probably saw her about 6 times a year). Obviously I am not the best mummy ever, but, if she is so sad about a dog she wasn’t that close to, I probably can’t make her sadder by intentionally leaving her. Also, I have a friend/ colleague, who is the one person I have opened up to a little bit about how shit things feel, and she has been amazing and put a lot of time and effort into trying to help and she has just had a close family bereavement herself so it wouldn’t be fair to do that to her at the moment. I suppose that somewhere there must be a tiny glimmer of hope that makes me keep going.
sugarlost · 30/03/2021 20:26

It's hard. I struggle with thoughts of self harm and suicide. I'm on antidepressants and some days I feel normal again and others days it's so challenging. I guess we have to remember the challenging days do pass it's just getting through them.

I'd like to know the long term effects of anti depressants say 10years plus...I think I'll need them forever.

I struggle being single in the summer too... maybe it's seeing couples/families/friends having fun together outdoors in the sun when I may not have plans and stuck indoors.... times like this I'd rather it's winter and I'm indoors not missing anything outside.

I hate feeling envious of others... it's not a good way to be.

Oneweekleft · 02/04/2021 08:00

For people wanting to commit suicide you dont actually know that your experience after death will be better than life. Death doesn't necesarily mean the end and you could be in a worse place. Suicide is not the answer and it is like a betrayal to family and friends.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 09:53

Don't be daft, there's no such thing as "experience after death". "Experience after failed suicide attempt", though, yeah that's an offputting prospect.

BadMudda · 02/04/2021 20:57

@Oneweekleft

For people wanting to commit suicide you dont actually know that your experience after death will be better than life. Death doesn't necesarily mean the end and you could be in a worse place. Suicide is not the answer and it is like a betrayal to family and friends.
This is not a helpful comment. Not at all
diwrnachoflleyn · 02/04/2021 21:15

@Oneweekleft

For people wanting to commit suicide you dont actually know that your experience after death will be better than life. Death doesn't necesarily mean the end and you could be in a worse place. Suicide is not the answer and it is like a betrayal to family and friends.
Hmm

FFS. There is nothing after this life. That's it. Betrayal? Give over.

kittensarecute · 02/04/2021 21:23

If restrictions don't end in June (particularly anti-social distancing) there will be no point being here, I've had enough of everything that gives my life meaning and pleasure being stolen from me. It's been a fucking year and I'm done.

19thNamechange · 02/04/2021 21:37

My heart goes out to all of you who are feeling so low. My honest answer is the thing that stopped me feeling suicidal was being put on the right antidepressants. I take Citalopram 20mg daily and I almost feel normal now. Please talk to your GP if you can. I know it's not ideal to be on medication, but if they help then why not? You may have to try a few before you find one that suits you though. Good luck.

Fromage · 02/04/2021 21:42

I hear you, OP.

I feel the same and I think it's fear that's stopping me, and also the repercussions on the very small number of people who would be affected. Mostly because they wouldn't understand. That, and not having the strength to go through with it if I'm honest.

For now, I'm hanging in there. I hope you do too.

Anon778833 · 02/04/2021 21:44

If you’re feeling that way, @starsstars123 you really need some treatment. Honestly, I have been where you are now. You won’t always feel like this. Now that I have the right treatment my life is so much better Flowers

Anon778833 · 02/04/2021 21:45

I don’t understand the stigma around SSRI medication. Most of them are very safe and have few side effects.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 22:06

I've never noticed any significant stigma around SSRIs. What do you mean by stigma? The main problem with them is they're only just barely more effective than placebo, even when prescribing is restricted to those circumstances where there's some evidence for them.

diwrnachoflleyn · 02/04/2021 23:06

@CurseMyTinyThumbs

I've never noticed any significant stigma around SSRIs. What do you mean by stigma? The main problem with them is they're only just barely more effective than placebo, even when prescribing is restricted to those circumstances where there's some evidence for them.
The problem is that a lot of times there are awful side effects and/or you have to play around with different ones to find one that works and it can be real hell during that time.
CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 23:08

Yep that too.

CurseMyTinyThumbs · 02/04/2021 23:13

Sometimes with mental illness it feels like everyone just wants you to be quickly and conveniently dealt with, and there's an assumption that a packet of sertraline and six sessions with an IAPT counsellor will tidy you away nicely. It's rarely that simple…