Does anyone else feel like suicide is the best option?

[starsstars123]

This sounds really awful and deep, but has anyone else felt like suicide is the only option at the moment? I'm so depressed and anxious and think there is no other way out of it. What's stopping people? How have people gotten out of this awful hole?

No it's not that simple, but sometimes pills do work and they can get you to a point where life becomes a bit more bearable. I have tried counselling in the past but never found a counsellor who really helped or understood me. I'm sure there must be some good ones, but I never found one. Also I can't afford to find a private one and the waiting list to see someone on the NHS is ridiculous where I live. So for now I am just glad I have some antidepressants that work for me. They are probably keeping me alive.

You find something to hold on to, anything at all, to get you through the next day, the next hour.

You only need to hold on by a fingernail.

Life really does go in cycles, the suicidal feelings and thoughts - even if you've been having them a very long time - really don't last forever. However bleak it may seem, things will improve.

You might not notice straight away, it might happen incrementally, but it will improve.

Thank you for posting today - please, please do reach out to your GP or one of the support lines mentioned here already. Treatments can absolutely relieve your suffering so that you have the strength and energy to live your life in ways that will bring you peace.

If you'd like to talk at all, @starsstars123 please post again or feel free to DM me

*MandUs

My children's dad took his own life last year. I'm sure to him it felt like the best solution to his suffering. BUT all he did was transfer his own suffering onto a whole lot of other people and multiply it by 100. The pain and suffering he has caused his family, friends, work colleagues ect is unimaginable and unforgivable. All those people will pay for what he did for the rest of their lives. It's the most selfish thing someone can do. If you are that mentally unwell it might feel like you are doing other people a favour by dying but that is really really not how it works.*

I'm so so sorry you are going through this but I'm so thankful you've posted this as the impact on loved ones is what's keeping me here and you reminded me to stay here and not put them through it x

It’s the life insurance being null & void so dh would be left with nothing if I can’t make it look like an accident.

Oh Member that's so sad x

I think things have been tough for us all and sometimes it's a day at a time. Or half a day or hour by hour. Be kind and good to ourselves and hang in there. Just hang in there, all of us x

@starsstars123 hoping things will improve soon and I really hope you post again

@MissPessyMistic

I’ve treated suicide as an object I carry around in my pocket. When things are bad I tell myself it’s there if I need it, but let’s keep going for now. Somehow I find that gets me through very rough times, but I can’t explain why.

The difficult thing is that when your depressed your mind is playing tricks on you, focussing in on the worst of life, and suppressing anything good. It is very hard in that moment to things will ever get better, but they do. Your mind will tell you that’s bullshit, your mind is wrong. And I say this as someone who has spent 25 years living with it.

The first paragraph is what I did, for a long time. Not every moment but on and off for over 2 decades when things were bad. Mostly I just wanted my pain and the horrible intrusive thoughts to stop and that was the only solution I could envision. And I felt better able to carry on because I had this 'option' if it got too much. I could tell myself I just had to get through today or this hour or moment and that if I really couldn't do it I still had that option there.

Now I'm really sick again, struggling with pain, intrusive thoughts and feeling worthless. It's harder now because I can't tell myself thats an option if I can't carry on. SEN DC and 'D'H who would fuck up their lives if I wasn't here. I lost my mum as a little kid. A friend lost her teen daughter several years ago to suicide. That pain will never leave her. I can't relieve my suffering at the cost of my family and DC.

Depression, anxiety, OCD are a permanent part of the ebb and flow of my life. But it is that, it comes and goes, sometimes in the background sometimes hurting so much I just want this to be over. It helps to remind myself that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I remind myself this too shall pass. The worst moments do. There have been many things in the last 20 odd years that I am grateful I was here for. Depression colours memories, I look back and see so much grey and black when in its clutches, I remind myself that my perspective isn't accurate at three timee.
Depressionn lies to your brain. This is where I am now, not always, and that there was good in my past and there will be in my future.

Yes indeed OP, I've felt like this most days for years.
SSRI's in my case citalopram have helped a lot.
I'm currently having psycotherapy on the NHS as an urgent case.
I work full time in the NHS and prioritising work really helps.
I was on tramadol for my chronic back problem but I've asked my GP to stop prescribing them for me because it would be all too easy to stockpile them and do the deed.
It's really tough pasting on a smile and going out to do something every single day but it's essential, even if you then go to bed straight afterwards and stay there all evening.
It's important to have something to live for, I write down my goals for the next year of things I'd like to do and do them, ticking them off as I go. Even if you don't enjoy doing anything it's important to keep trying or you'll just give up.
Just got a new cat because the likelihood of killing yourself is less if you have something or someone to care for and cherish.
Give it a go but do speak to your GP as the right medication and professional help is just so important.

No. Because it's not. Dead is dead. Whilst one is alive, there is always hope.

@Starstars123 I hope your feelings have shifted somewhat, lovely. Life is so much tougher than I ever realised it would be. Michael Sealey meditation is really good (I am not saying it will get rid of suicidal ideation but just something to try if you fancy).

@Kintsuji have you looked into physiological causes of anxiety/ ocd/ depression? My son has been diagnosed with pandas/ immune mediated component to behaviour. I have found that when I treated my strep throat, my insomnia, ocd and non epileptic seizures went. It wasn't even a really bad case of strep; I only thought to check as my son has a pandas diagnosis. If my mind starts racing with thoughts now, I take a mag plus, by seeking health. B6 + magnesium helps convert glutamate to gaba.

This is the most patronising, unhelpful thing you can say to a suicidal person.

Why are you resurrecting zombie threads about suicide @cha04?

Because I want to die

Sorry to hear you are struggling @cha04. Would you feel up to starting your own thread with some details about your situation then we can try to help. There are a lot of people on this board who have dealt with difficult times ourselves and we can try to offer support.