Would any one like to join in an anxiety support thread?

[Heatherandmoss]

I’ve seen lots of posts recently about people having a bad time with their anxiety and I thought an on going thread might be good do people can bob on and offer and receive support, share tips and just generally empathise with some one going through the same thing.

I’ve had anxiety since I was about ten ( I realised after my psychiatrist was able to help me pin point my earliest memory of it)

I think there is a bit of misconception of anxiety as some people think it’s just general worry - but it’s not.

When my anxiety rears her head it’s so physical. I sweat, my face can go numb, pains in my chest. I have a feeling like some one is kicking my front door in and I’m scared for my life and I could just be hoovering. Anxiety jolts me awake when I’m asleep and it rolls down my body like thunder. It makes me catastrophize at 3am and my feet start rubbing against each other ( weird) My anxiety makes me walk in to the kitchen with my kids empty dinner plates and suddenly feel so so over whelmed I struggle for breath and tears leak out in a gasp of raw emotion - all done silently so my kids can’t hear me.

I’ve had to give up drinking alcohol because Jesus the anxiety the next day was shocking and lasted days until I suddenly stepped out the anxiety room.

My anxiety has been bad since November as I’ve got some things going and I’m worried my heart is going to pack in because of the extra ‘thud thud thud’ overtime it’s being doing!

Exercise does help me take the edge of sometimes. I nearly went to the GP the other day as it was rotten but at this moment of time I need to be switched on.

Today has not been to bad. I’m considering it a win.

So I’ve you’d like to join in or have some where to say ‘holy fuck it’s bad today’ hopefully more people will be here and you will know some one knows how bad your feeling.

Thank you for the replies. Today is better. After i finished work i walked up to town (a mile) and I felt better for having gone out. During lockdown I became a hermit and let it affect me a lot. I was not one of these people that took up running sadly.
I had my bike stolen a couple of months ago and I had an issue trying to order a bike through Halfords. That set me off bawling (which is a bit pathetic) but i was feeling really sorry for myself.
WL I am taking Effexor/Venlafaxine...i have been taking it for over ten years. In the past I have come off meds cold turkey and always relapsed. Since I had my son I have tried to stay on them steadily. I would love to lose weight as that is the one side effect that is problematic. Anxiety is always there in the background...the best thing I did was take a course with MIND. The course was managing Stress & Anxiety. The one thing that the course taught me was not to fight against anxiety and actually accept the situation. It helped me an awful lot as I was going through a difficult time at work.

ps it is really good to know that there are others out there like me.

Good work sing
I'm so pleased for you loki. I hope you get a good therapist. I still haven't made the time to call the therapists available to el through my work programme. I was going to do it today but kids weren't out of earshot for long enough. I'll try for his week.

WLmum - hope you manage to make the phone call. It's tricky to do things like that with kids around.

Thanks loki. I made the first referral call last week and my eldest knew I had been crying on the phone. Part of the difficulty is my middle hasn't managed to go back to school due to her anxiety, so she's here all the time.
I'm going to try taking the citalopram at lunchtime instead of the morning in the hope that will stop the 3/4am waking. I'm knackered!

Hi all!
That’s great news about the counselling loki
WL hope you can sort something. It’s so hard when the kids are around all the time! Luckily DS (who is still home educated) is still fairly oblivious, it’s much harder when DD1 is around. She was up till 1 anxious about school/friendship stuff, thankfully DH was the counselling parent last night and I got some sleep.
Ah phil I was on Effexor for a long time. It is a nightmare for withdrawal symptoms! I found the same with paroxetine. Glad you managed to get out. I have been a total hermit since I got my shielding letter in February. I had heard I could ignore it (it’s due to previous gestational diabetes that I was suddenly added to the list) but then had my jab and have been struggling health wise since anyway. But the anxiety about going out is building up.

I made a bit of progress on my presentation yesterday but need to sort the slides today! Aaargh

Does anyone else overthink every interaction they have with people? Yesterday I was talking to some people that I vaguely know but have only spoken to like once or twice now I’m overthinking the interaction

Oh hell yes. I don’t have it with some close friends (who are autistic/adhd like me) but anyone else... yep.

I am finding it even worse now that I’ve been much more isolated and having fewer interactions. I’m not even using Facebook anymore as it made me too paranoid about saying the wrong thing

A big virtual hand hold for everyone struggling today 💕. I’m still having a tricky time with low mood and anxiety but I am seeing a counsellor through work and talking to her is helping me a lot- it turns out this winter lock down has been very triggering .... it’s good to talk and share difficulties. 💐

Hi, how is everyone doing today?

I've just been for my usual after work walk. I cried through it. I feel awful. I've got a meeting at work with my manager and HR regarding something that's been ongoing for months. I've been avoiding going into too much detail so far but just need to talk.

I got put on a performance improvement plan months ago. I have a new manager and she's not happy with my performance. I am trying my best but it's not good enough. I'm not getting any support or training, just criticism. My confidence, which had been improving, is now at rock bottom. I feel awful.

Other people at work feel that I am good at my job and my old boss would be happy for me to work with her again. Unfortunately this is not possible.

I don't know how this situation can ever get better. I've worked so hard and just feel so angry at being treated so poorly.

Hi mummy sorry you’ve been feeling bad, but glad the counselling is helping! I’ve definitely found this latest lockdown the hardest of the three in many ways.

Loki I’m so sorry this is happening at work, what a nightmare :( it doesn’t sound like you’re being treated fairly at all.

I’m a bit anxious at the moment as I’ve rushed at the last minute to get most of my slide show done for the presentation, so I could run through it with someone, but they’ve not turned up to the zoom meet. I waited a while and then sent a text which I found quite hard as I hate feeling like I’m bugging people. DH has a meeting soon (I’m using his work tablet) and then I’ll have to just finish the slides and hope for the best. I’ve not done slide sharing on zoom so I’m clueless! And I have no idea how long my talk will take. I really wish I hadn’t signed up to go first but I wanted to get it over with 🤦🏽‍♀️😳

@Lokikitty - sorry it's not going well at work.

Do you feel you are being bullied and is there someone in HR you can talk to about this?

I was doing ok today and had a nice walk in the sun. Then a family matter set off my anxiety.

Thanks Sing and Easter. Yes, I do feel like I am getting bullied as my boss treats other staff differently. Unfortunately, there is no one I can talk to, as my boss is well liked by senior management.

@Lokikitty that's a shame. Sounds like you have evidence of bullying if your work colleagues think you are doing a good job.

loki I'm so's sorry that's happening to you. Can you talk to your old manager? Would he/she support you in the meeting? Or with your feelings of bullying? Do you think other people see that you get treated differently? Sorry for all the questions but the answers will give some idea of what options you have next.

Thanks WLmum, I will have a union rep at the meeting. I can talk to my old manager, who has been concerned about my wellbeing. One member of staff has noticed that I get treated differently.

loki that's good that you'll have a union rep, they should have lots of experience and can help to support and guide you. I would seriously consider raising a grievance citing the bullying. Listing out that you've always had good performance before etc and examples of where you've been treated differently. The company will have to do an investigation and hopefully ask your old manager and colleague about it.
That said, of course it will be stressful for you :-( but so is what you're going through now.
ACAS also have a free helpline that you can use if you feel like it, for advice.

When is your meeting? I hope it isn't too horrid for you.

Phew, presentation went well. My friend messaged me in the morning mortified she’d forgotten and we had a quick practice which actually worked out better really. Glad the whole thing is done now, I have an evil headache though 😂

Really hope this can be sorted loki it just sounds awful. It’s good someone else has noticed x

Thanks everyone. My meeting is tomorrow morning. Just hope that I feel able to put my point across and don't get too emotional.

Excellent sing
Good luck loki

That's great Sing. Glad your friend got in touch and the presentation went well. Hope the evil headache didn't last long 💐

Hi Mummywith2kids, glad the counselling is helping you. I found the first lockdown the hardest. I know a lot of people that are finding the latest lockdown the hardest.

Urgh an awful night here. I was working until really late yesterday on a couple of time critical issues. They shouldn't, but they did - sent my work based anxiety through the roof. Tummy in knots so couldn't eat. Knots all through the night and little sleep.
Dd was in anxiety melt down yesterday too so I was also trying to support and manage her whilst working.
Got a meeting with educational psychologist for her next week and camhs assessment couple of weeks after.
Also made myself a counselling apt for week after next
Ugh. Feel pretty crappy this morning.

Sorry you had a bad night WLmum. I managed to fall asleep at a reasonable time but been awake since 3.30am. Feel your pain 💐

Best of luck loki we will be thinking of you 💐 have you got some notes written?

Sorry about your night WL 💐 it’s horrible having to deal with our kids’ anxieties. We were talking in training yesterday about what depletes our own resources and the first thing I said was helping my DD1 at night. So often it doesn’t all spill out until around 11pm!

She’s really anxious today as her friend is being manipulative and now she doesn’t want to go to her dance club after school because she’s worried about being ignored. She’s really taken after me with not being able to cope with tension etc. But I’ve told her she’s going, she can just look at something funny on her phone in the breaks. If she doesn’t go it’s just giving this girl the satisfaction and power and it’ll only get worse. I don’t want DD1 to be ruled by her anxiety like I was for years so I’m trying to teach her better!