Would any one like to join in an anxiety support thread?

[Heatherandmoss]

I’ve seen lots of posts recently about people having a bad time with their anxiety and I thought an on going thread might be good do people can bob on and offer and receive support, share tips and just generally empathise with some one going through the same thing.

I’ve had anxiety since I was about ten ( I realised after my psychiatrist was able to help me pin point my earliest memory of it)

I think there is a bit of misconception of anxiety as some people think it’s just general worry - but it’s not.

When my anxiety rears her head it’s so physical. I sweat, my face can go numb, pains in my chest. I have a feeling like some one is kicking my front door in and I’m scared for my life and I could just be hoovering. Anxiety jolts me awake when I’m asleep and it rolls down my body like thunder. It makes me catastrophize at 3am and my feet start rubbing against each other ( weird) My anxiety makes me walk in to the kitchen with my kids empty dinner plates and suddenly feel so so over whelmed I struggle for breath and tears leak out in a gasp of raw emotion - all done silently so my kids can’t hear me.

I’ve had to give up drinking alcohol because Jesus the anxiety the next day was shocking and lasted days until I suddenly stepped out the anxiety room.

My anxiety has been bad since November as I’ve got some things going and I’m worried my heart is going to pack in because of the extra ‘thud thud thud’ overtime it’s being doing!

Exercise does help me take the edge of sometimes. I nearly went to the GP the other day as it was rotten but at this moment of time I need to be switched on.

Today has not been to bad. I’m considering it a win.

So I’ve you’d like to join in or have some where to say ‘holy fuck it’s bad today’ hopefully more people will be here and you will know some one knows how bad your feeling.

Hi, just found this thread. I’m really struggling with anxiety at the moment.

I spent Monday evening sobbing, shaking and nauseous. I haven’t eaten properly in days. Today I managed half a sandwich for lunch which is the most I’ve managed all week.

Although every day is getting a little better, I’m quick to tears and just feel fearful.

Hoping I can stick to something that helps me relax tonight.

I got a text today saying that I have to phone the counselling service before 4pm or my referral will be closed. So I phoned from work which I felt really uncomfortable about. The worst thing was that I spent half an hour trying to get through but couldn't. So had to leave another message! I've been trying to sort this out all week.

Hi MrsLeclerc, sorry to hear that you are struggling 💐. Really glad you managed to eat something today. Hope you manage to relax tonight.

Rosa, that is weird that we had the same tea. What languages are you learning?

Hi WLmum, sorry you're struggling with the meds. Side effects can be awful. Glad you've sorted the counselling out. That's one thing off your mind 💐

Well done on the assignment Sing 👏
Glad your PIP has been renewed. That must have been stressful.

@Lokikitty Thank you. That sounds like it was unnecessarily stressful for you. Especially after a week of trying to sort it. Hopefully they get back to you tomorrow so it doesn’t drag into next week.

Sorry to hear you had a bad morning Loki, glad the rest of the day was okay. Sausages and mash sound great, I love the vegan Richmond ones they’re so good!

WLmum I was in a rather toxic situation with someone that I would be seeing every Thursday. It was so so hard and almost unsurvivable. Luckily managed to get things sorted and never see that person again

Agree wit Easter about films and walking being good. IME when I’m so anxious sometimes it’s hard to read but a walk with some happy/upbeat music helps.

It’s Supergirl sing! I’ve found it a really helpful TV show especially mental health wise as they did a whole episode on panic attacks. Don’t know what I’ll do with my life once it ends 🤣

I’m hoping to become a midwife Rosa a part of me is so excited for it though on the other hand I have my doubts about what if I’ve done all this and get onto the course etc only to find it isn’t for me?! “Luckily” lots of my friends have similar feelings.

Welcome MrsLec,that’s good you managed to have the sandwich

I’ve had a really tough day. I’ll admit, I have been bullied and it was so so tough. Though now I finally managed to report it and get things sorted out. It’s been a long day, though hopefully things should be better now

Hi, have been lurking for a while and have NC from my usual.

I have quite bad health anxiety which is creeping into GAD and causing all sorts of problems with my relationship. I'm doing a CBT course but it really doesn't help with the 3am wakings, the shakes, the constant nausea, lack of concentration, the fact I'm currently petrified that I've got secondary Raynauds not just primary, and can give myself any number of worrying diagnoses despite knowing they are highly unlikely to be there.

It's the little voice in the back of my head that says But what if it isn't just in your mind? that is the problem. It won't go away and I really want it to!

CBT says let go what you can't change - but HOW? I simply can't stop it. I have tried listing things (with why they're unlikely), worry trees (I think I have a forest), thinking traps... it's as if I have two of me. One is perfectly rational and the other is a sobbing ball in the corner even though I know I don't have anything wrong. Well at least not much. I am waiting for surgery, not easy right now!

Probably have ASD too which is co-morbid with anxiety. As is being just post-menopause (another tick).

I'll go back to lurking now and hopefully picking up ways I can get my subconscious to STFU.

Welcome mrs and heron!

Sorry things have been so difficult for you both. Heron I understand what you mean about that “but what if”. I’m autistic too and unfortunately I have heard anecdotally that CBT is often not as successful for autistic people (and those with ADHD) because our thought processes are different. If I one day reach my very long term goal of working in psychology, better therapy specifically for neurodivergent adults is something I’d really like to research/develop TBH.

Ooh I’ve not tried watching supergirl. I’ll look it up, thanks! It’s always lovely to find something that makes you happy to watch.

I probably sound biased but the therapy I have now I find much better for anxiety, especially the “but what if”. Because I no longer need to let that go. I can let it be there and forgive myself for it and even get stuff done in spite of it being there. It’s called acceptance commitment therapy or ACT

I'll have to look that up, thanks Sing

I'm wondering if one reason I'm not doing so well is that I'm not eating, which then starts a vicious circle of lack of energy, and acid reflux/stomach problems, then pain in the night, so not sleeping, so exhausted... then feel rubbish, so I don't eat...

Irony is that I've spent most of my life comfort eating when I'm stressed, except when it gets really bad, and then I just can't. And I can't have any antidepressants because I had to be taken off the last lot because I reacted and they don't know which to give me. I want to get out and exercise which does help, only I can't run or bend atm because it hurts and we're back to my needing that op... aaaaah!

sodding vicious circles

tea I’m glad to hear you are out of the toxic situation and that you’ve been bullied. Bullying makes me so mad. I hope you’re ok and you don’t suffer any more. Your survived it - you are a Trojan.

sing great news on the assignment and pip. I like the acceptance therapy approach that you’ve talked of.
Welcome mrs. I’m crying every time anyone asks how I am. I hope you can eat something soon.
loki that sounds stressful. I hope you manage to get to speak to them soon and keep your appointments.

Hi heron lurk or join in, whatever helps. I totally get the rational head vs the anxious head. It’s like a war in my head.

I still couldn't get through to the counselling service. They were meant to ring me as soon as i finish work. But I realised 5 minutes before they were due to call that my phone had run out of charge. I used work's phone to ring the counselling service to explain to the answer machine and give them work's number. Then waited at work for them to ring. I waited 25 minutes but had to leave it after that to get my bus. When I got home, there was a message asking me to phone them. The thing is that it is impossible to get through as their line is always busy and it just cuts you off. It's really stressing me out.

Hi Heron, hope you get that op soon 💐

Hi Tea, sorry to hear about the bullying. So glad you managed to report it. You shouldn't have to put up with that 💐. Supergirl sounds interesting.

Hope everyone is doing well today. I am due on soon which always ramps up my anxiety and depression...fun, fun, fun. As my mum would say, who'd be a woman XD

I've dropped off of all the things that keep me 'even', exercising, walking, eating well, meditation, getting up early. Annoyed at myself for letting it drop. Husband , brother and dad all depressed and I absorb a lot of it which leaves me quite numb and despondent. I know I need to practise consistent self-care but keep dropping off of it. D'oh.

@teaandcustardcreamsx - will you get away from the bullying if you start the course?

@annabellacomestotea - so difficult to be around people with depression without it effecting you and then you've got your own mental health to take care of. You can always ring the Samaritans if you want to talk things through. They aren't supposed to offer advice/opinions but they are there to listen if you need to offload.

My anxiety has been better overall. I haven't had that overwhelming anxious feeling today but I have ended up with a bit of an OCD hand washing thing. It's due to worries about covid. I think I should be able to get it under control.

annabella I hear that. I have anxiety about my dds anxiety, some of the things she says and does are really triggering for me, which I have to keep buried...and fester.
Also the self care - I'm trying to get back to running, which is going ok, I was pleased my buddy was able to go this morning too as I'm not sure I'd have made it on my own. I need to do early morning yoga too but I've felt too wired.

sing sorry you still haven't managed to connect with the counselling service. So hard and stressful. I really hope they are understanding when you do eventually get through.

Sorry loki!

Morning everyone. Start of a new week. How is everyone?
I'm finding hard to get up and get going in the morning - not sure if that's a side effect of the citalopram? Could be just anxiety procrastination of course.

Hello I haven’t posted on mumsnet for years but have had anxiety for years. I’m on medication. I wish there was an app or a service you could tap into on an adhoc basis. Yesterday I was in a terrible state and I needed someone to say it will get better and here are some things you can do to improve. If I have a set back I find I spiral into ‘why me, it’s not fair’ etc anyway better day today for everyone I hope!

Hi philnteds is there anything you notice that set you off yesterday?
You can post on here for company - I check it quite a lot at the moment as my anxiety is high and like you, I'm also looking to others to help with reassurance and management tips.
Exercise always helps me, and I spent a lot of time gardening this weekend which was useful. The anxiety is always on my shoulder but more peripheral vision than front and centre when I'm physically active.

Please can I ask what meds you are on?
I've recently started on citalopram after years of reluctance, and I'm trying to figure out how is best for me to take it etc to ensure it's helpful and manage the side effects.

HI everyone - can I join? Sorry I'm not in the mental space to read the full thread... like so many at the moment I'm just feeling totally overwhelmed with life. Am a single mum and since my DDs have gone back to school the stress of the last few months has hit me. I'm bored of my career though like my job and it suits me well at the moment (not too stressful, nice colleagues, flexible around childcare) and couldn't afford to retrain anyway. DDs go to their dad's regularly but even so, I'm struggling with having to do everything on my own - practical, emotional, financial. I've always been anxious but am high functioning with it. I worry that I'll get a serious illness and not be able to work and lose the house I've fought so hard for (bought after divorce, renovated still feels like a dream that I got too lucky), or worse that I'll die leaving my DDs.

I'm like a coiled spring some days and don't deal calmly when the DDs misbehave and/or I "helicopterparent" which I sometimes catch myself in the middle of doing and stop. I've let them get away with more than usual since Covid so trying to put the boundaries back in place. Explained this to them; they're such sweethearts and "don't want to make mummy sad"

I've probably got depression as well as anxiety. I know what I need to do to feel better but something stops me. I procrastinate. Just wanted to talk to people who understand the relentless drain of anxiety. I feel like a bad parent and most days I worry that I'm messing them up for life with the way I am. Can also see that I'm a decent mother and we have a great relationship but I've utterly lost perspective.

Hi all. Just checking in quickly as I really must get on with stuff. I’m procrastinating over my presentation on Wednesday. I’ve actually got some other stuff done this morning which is good but it’s all been because I’ve put off the presentation work 😳

Anyway hello to our newcomers, you are very welcome here! Anxiety is so very draining and I feel like a bad parent a lot of the time too. I can get really nit picky about little things because I feel so out of control in other ways.

I love the idea of an adhoc service for anxiety. Sometimes it builds up so much doesn’t it? I find it a bit tricky booking therapy at the moment, sometimes I really wish I had a session booked right then (I can only afford once a month) as I just feel terrible but then I don’t want to waste money by booking another session as often it passes. Maybe though the fact it does pass is testament to how well the therapy is going, as I can get through difficulties more easily. Argh just realised I still haven’t written up my notes from the last session!

I’ve been trying really hard to be a bit more productive. I’m on a lovely long running housework thread (called Fledglings - anyone is welcome if it would help!) and we often do something called power of three. If we feel overwhelmed with a big to do list we just write down three things to do next. For me they are often really small things like having my meds with a glass of water, or moving laundry into the dryer. Or I use it to break down big scary tasks, for example I have some forms to fill in so one of my PO3 tasks was literally to just open the attachments and read the forms, NOT to fill them in.

I still burn out when I’m productive though. Saturday I did lots of power of three lists, again many were really small tasks, but Sunday I was absolutely useless as a result. It’s so frustrating. I really don’t know how to find the balance of being productive (because frankly procrastinating adds to my anxiety a lot - because I’m constantly aware of all the stuff I’m not doing) and looking after myself :(

Anyway that wasn’t a quick check in was it. I now need to decide what my next power of three will be - it absolutely needs to include something about my presentation 😬😭

Thank you @SingToTheSky you're right... I need to relinquish needing to control situations... Love the idea of the PO3

I've finally managed to talk to someone from the counselling service. I phoned and couldn't get through. They returned my call as I was walking to the bus station. So I had to speed walk to find a quiet spot in town. I have been offered one at a time counselling.

Annabella - it's hard to keep up with self care when you are too anxious. Hope you are feeling better 💐

Easter- glad your anxiety is better. Hope you get the OCD under control 💐

WLmum- it's great that you've got back into running. I've been trying to do a bit of running as well as my walks.

Philnteds - sorry to hear that you have been struggling. Was today a better day for you?💐

Ughnamechanged - sorry to hear that you've been struggling. It's been a horrible year, hasn't it?

Sing - power of 3 sounds good. Hope you managed to sort out your presentation.