Would any one like to join in an anxiety support thread?

[Heatherandmoss]

I’ve seen lots of posts recently about people having a bad time with their anxiety and I thought an on going thread might be good do people can bob on and offer and receive support, share tips and just generally empathise with some one going through the same thing.

I’ve had anxiety since I was about ten ( I realised after my psychiatrist was able to help me pin point my earliest memory of it)

I think there is a bit of misconception of anxiety as some people think it’s just general worry - but it’s not.

When my anxiety rears her head it’s so physical. I sweat, my face can go numb, pains in my chest. I have a feeling like some one is kicking my front door in and I’m scared for my life and I could just be hoovering. Anxiety jolts me awake when I’m asleep and it rolls down my body like thunder. It makes me catastrophize at 3am and my feet start rubbing against each other ( weird) My anxiety makes me walk in to the kitchen with my kids empty dinner plates and suddenly feel so so over whelmed I struggle for breath and tears leak out in a gasp of raw emotion - all done silently so my kids can’t hear me.

I’ve had to give up drinking alcohol because Jesus the anxiety the next day was shocking and lasted days until I suddenly stepped out the anxiety room.

My anxiety has been bad since November as I’ve got some things going and I’m worried my heart is going to pack in because of the extra ‘thud thud thud’ overtime it’s being doing!

Exercise does help me take the edge of sometimes. I nearly went to the GP the other day as it was rotten but at this moment of time I need to be switched on.

Today has not been to bad. I’m considering it a win.

So I’ve you’d like to join in or have some where to say ‘holy fuck it’s bad today’ hopefully more people will be here and you will know some one knows how bad your feeling.

Hi Washer, welcome to the thread. Big changes like moving can be very stressful. WFH is really hard when you find it isolating. Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow 🌺🌺

Sing, that's great news about the volunteering. It will be really good experience for you. Good luck with the form. Hope you manage to set up the minecraft stuff. That kind of thing would stress me out too.

Hi all. I've managed to distract myself by having a productive day and going for a walk. It's made me feel better.

I couldn't face dinner last night so I am cooking something nourishing and then I'm having an early night.

Hope you've all enjoyed the sunshine.

Hi Easter, glad you had a good day. The walk I did today and the sunshine made me feel better.

Hope you enjoy your dinner. I've just made a potato bake and apple crumble without sugar. It tasted surprising nice.

Thanks sing! It was horrible to do and I'd been putting it off. Writing it all down felt very brutal, my poor dd. The school senco is crap, and although they haven't said outright that they don't support it, I know they don't. They dodged every time I asked about it, and hemmed and hahed about it being long and hard etc. Fine. I'll do it myself. Camhs recommended I do it - we had a fab counsellor but unfortunately it was only the entry level support, and was only 6 weeks so we've had to be re-referred. Same as you, it's been a battle as it's only this year that school have seen a problem, even though I've told them every year since reception - she's now year 6 and full school refusal.

Sorry I've been off MN for a bit and haven't had chance to catch up on the full thread yet. Hope everyone's doing okay and hugs if not. I'm okay, although feeling very frustrated and somewhat tearful about the lack of info from the government re face to face teaching for universities. You'd think I'd have got used to them letting students down by now but I get so anxious around every press conference date and then sink into despair waiting for them to actually say anything.

Hi rosa it must be awful facing so much uncertainty! I have been lucky really that DH and I haven’t had any changes to work really.

I really sympathise WL it’s horrible having to focus on the negatives of our wonderful children :( worth it if it gets them some help 💐 but hard all the same.

I’ve had an insanely lazy day - up at half 5 with the 3yo and just lazed around until swapping with DH, whom I’d left to have a lie in, at half 10. Since then have felt rough, wobbly/dizzy which I think might be due to the meds, although also not helped by doing a lot of admin stuff yesterday so probably a bit burned out too. So I have stayed upstairs watching old series of line of duty. However during the day I did actually feel able to have a little proper quality time with each of my 3 DCs individually. I don’t often seem to be able to do that, so while I know hiding in bed watching TV all day isn’t a good daily plan, it seemed to really help me today.

Hi Rosa, welcome back. The uncertainty has been the worst part of this year. I felt very anxious like you when schools were closed and I was waiting for an announcement to find out when I could return to work.

WLmum - sorry that you found the form so hard. It's disappointing that the school haven't supported you better. At least Camhs have been good.

I had a hectic day yesterday, which was too much for me and has affected my sleep. It was just none stop with washing, cooking, meeting a friend for a walk, food shopping, more cooking and cleaning. All things that needed doing before I go back to work on Monday.

My mum came to mine for a change. I thought it would be a nice break for me not having to do the bus journey to her house. I just ended up feeling stressed trying to get my flat tidy. My cat got scared and hid under a bed for hours. Even treats and toys wouldn't get her out and i just felt bad for her. She loves to be brushed, so finally managed to get her out by showing her the brush!

Not looking forward to returning to work. My head already feels too cluttered thinking about Monday.

lola me too - after a lovely week off, I'm back to work in the morning :-(
I'm also expecting the gp to call to review me. I really don't know if I want meds or not. I'm so fed up of the anxiety but I'm scared of side effects.

Sorry loki!

sing fwiw, I think it's ok to sometimes spend the day in bed if that's what you need to do in order to function better afterwards. Role modelling self care is not a bad thing! I know it's really hard to find the balance, but if we know our kids have had too much stimulation and not enough rest, we create a restful day for them. Why wouldn't we also do that for ourselves?

I've been awake for ages with work anxiety :-(
Going to have a cup of tea and watch the snow, then do a bit of yoga to try and be calm before I log on. I feel sick :-(

WLmum- glad you had a good week off. Hope your review goes well. That's a good idea, starting the day with yoga. Hope it helps you to feel better 💐

Thanks loki I think I'm feeling a bit lost and confused - I'm scared to take meds but I realise how much of my life anxiety has affected, to my detriment and want to stop that now. I wish someone had a crystal ball and could tell me that to do!

Hope you have a good Monday.

It’s so hard isn’t it, making these decisions. 💐

Hope everyone has an ok day today x

Nice gp rang and has prescribed citalopram. He's obviously not able to answer if I should take them, but the fact that I cried when he called tells me that my anxiety is still high.
I still haven't been brave enough to call for counselling. It's part finding the quiet space to have those emotional difficult conversations away from the family, and part being hard to lift the lid that's been so tightly wedged down for so long.

Well done WL you’ve done brilliantly having that conversation. Citalopram is supposed to be really good for anxiety, I’m on the related one called escitalopram. 💐

Thanks sing I'm feeling really teary. Objectively I know everything is fine, but I still feel like I just want to run away from it all. However, I also know I've tried that before, and short term relief brings long term pain.
I'm scared of side effects making my anxiety worse before it gets better but gp said that is not the norm for citalopram, but was so awful when I tried sertraline. I can cope with feeling sick etc.

Sorry, I feel like I've made this into a pity party about me

Aww no not a pity party at all - this is what the thread is for, sharing and supporting each other 💖

Thank you sing you are so lovely

Well done WLmum. Hope you are okay on the Citalopram. I hope it helps you 💐

It's good that you got a nice gp.

Sorry I've not posted for a while. Been sleeping so much and trying to get to the bottom of my health issues.
So blood tests are all clear, had a lovely doctor call me on Friday. She thinks I've been having a breakdown for quite some time so has upped my meds to 100mg and signed me off for another month. This stresses me as I'm not sure how much sick pay I'll get. But I know I need this time to get better

I'll share my fantasy with you all for when it's all too much.
I buy a canal boat for a song, and live alone, with a cat, in peace, and beautiful boho style, reading books cosy inside, going for long walks and taking lots of time over simple pleasures. I find cash in hand work where I need to. When I've had enough of one place, or I start to feel anxious and caged (like I do now) I simply untie the ropes and find somewhere new. Of course, it's all stress free, all the moorings are available and beautiful...I'm never lonely or guilty etc, just peaceful and calm!

Thanks loki
Hi flamingo sorry to hear you're still feeling so unwell. It sounds as though your dr was supportive? Are your employer supportive with sick pay?

WL that fantasy is lovely, I might steal it

Do rosa we can wave to each other as we drift by!