Would any one like to join in an anxiety support thread?

[Heatherandmoss]

I’ve seen lots of posts recently about people having a bad time with their anxiety and I thought an on going thread might be good do people can bob on and offer and receive support, share tips and just generally empathise with some one going through the same thing.

I’ve had anxiety since I was about ten ( I realised after my psychiatrist was able to help me pin point my earliest memory of it)

I think there is a bit of misconception of anxiety as some people think it’s just general worry - but it’s not.

When my anxiety rears her head it’s so physical. I sweat, my face can go numb, pains in my chest. I have a feeling like some one is kicking my front door in and I’m scared for my life and I could just be hoovering. Anxiety jolts me awake when I’m asleep and it rolls down my body like thunder. It makes me catastrophize at 3am and my feet start rubbing against each other ( weird) My anxiety makes me walk in to the kitchen with my kids empty dinner plates and suddenly feel so so over whelmed I struggle for breath and tears leak out in a gasp of raw emotion - all done silently so my kids can’t hear me.

I’ve had to give up drinking alcohol because Jesus the anxiety the next day was shocking and lasted days until I suddenly stepped out the anxiety room.

My anxiety has been bad since November as I’ve got some things going and I’m worried my heart is going to pack in because of the extra ‘thud thud thud’ overtime it’s being doing!

Exercise does help me take the edge of sometimes. I nearly went to the GP the other day as it was rotten but at this moment of time I need to be switched on.

Today has not been to bad. I’m considering it a win.

So I’ve you’d like to join in or have some where to say ‘holy fuck it’s bad today’ hopefully more people will be here and you will know some one knows how bad your feeling.

I get that sometimes too alizzie. Welcome scottish, that sounds very tough. Sometimes when things are as tough as they can be I find that even the smallest things can be hard to conquer

WLmum - Really sorry to hear about your dm passing away 💐. Maybe you're not ready to talk about your grief yet. It's so hard to talk about things like that. Do you have family that you can talk to and share memories with? X

WLmum - did you manage to sort some counselling out? 💐

I have what I call post bereavement anxiety - not diagnosed so apologies to all who really struggle with this and are rightly tired of the label being misused.
One rather traumatic bereavement followed quite quickly by an out of the blue phone call with news my mum had died unexpectedly.
It’s left me sometimes without any impetus (unlike me) and what I have I use for work stuff rather than stuff that would actually help. Some days I feel if I were to get on and do stuff I might miss a call - very clearly linked to second bereavement. So it can bring about inertia.
What does help is music - always. And getting out for exercise. Also spotting times of day when I am able to behave like the old HeronLanyon and getting going then. Lockdown has not helped. Rather than what I suspect may have naturally worked the trauma out with socialising, travel, getting on with my own full and lovely life it seems to have compounded things. Keeping an eye on this and suspect I should be sorting out some counselling which I did do after traumatic bereavement 1 and which helped.
Support all and Apols if I have used ‘anxiety’ incorrectly. I try not to because I know for many it is very debilitating and significant.

Thank you lola we were super close so it will always be hard. I am lucky in that I have siblings and family friends that I can share memories with - dm had terminal cancer for 4.5 years, so we had the benefit of knowing time was ticking, so we went on some big family holidays, with family and special friends, so those photos pop up sometimes. I think what I find hard is showing my vulnerability in talking about my grief, I know I would cry and there's no 'fix'. I think it's all wrapped up with having hidden my anxiety for so long for fear of being needy or a burden etc so people wouldn't like me or want to hang out with me. 40 years of burying it to undo.
If fear of showing vulnerability and shame resonates with anyone else, I highly recommend checking out Brene Browns TED talk.

Phoning for counselling is on tomorrow's to do list. Along with a long bike ride with dd1 who as a teenager often doesn't want to hang out with me, and can hide away in her festering room!

Hello heron your anxiety and experience is as valid as anyone else's. Sorry to hear about your bereavements, sounds really hard. My mil had a massive stroke 3 months after my dm died, we were all very close, and I'm sure her grief played a part in her stroke. I think I went into practical survival mode, and I think that's why I sometimes get floods of grief now. For my dm and also for mil, who whilst I'm still very grateful that she's here, is now severely disabled and our relationship, and hers with the dds won't ever be the same again.

Aw heron don’t overthink the anxiety label. You have been anxious enough for it to impact your life. You are just as welcome on the thread as anyone else!

I’m actually not even sure what diagnoses I have relating to anxiety or depression. My doctors have never mentioned a specific label. First went on ADs 20 years ago age 14! But actual diagnoses don’t always happen.

I’ve found that I’ve been diagnosed quite a few times I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression by the GP and then again a few months later alongside other diagnoses by h th e psychologist

Sorry to hear about your dm too tea I will probably visit the grave this week while I'm off work. She's in a natural burial site, which has sheep in 'her' field in the spring and summer, so I'll go and see if they've arrived.
I'm busy procrastinating on calling the counsellor...maybe after my bike ride, but then I need to do the EHCP application for dd2, so maybe after that...

I don’t envy you with the EHCP! I’m trying to sum up the courage for that.

Yesterday was ok after an awful Easter Sunday - full of rage it was horrible. Today, I don’t know, I feel ok pretty much but I’m stuck back in scrolling mode on my phone and can’t seem to get started. My 3yo isn’t very well so I’m tired I guess

Tea - sorry to hear about your DM and baby brother. I've had a lot of severe illness in my family, so understand how terrifying it is 💐

I understand how you feel about being let down by people. In my experience, the pandemic has brought out the worst in people. I no longer have anything to do with an old friend that was awful to me when my mental health deteriorated.

WLmum - good luck with the phone call and EHCP application 💐. Enjoy your bike ride.

Sing - sorry you had an awful Easter Sunday. Hope your 3yo is better soon 💐

I felt awful yesterday. I was very irritable. Having too much spare time doesn't agree with me. Doing okay so far today. Just been for a 2 hour walk, which is a lot for me. Treated myself to a chicken salad from McDonald's. Took me ages to decide what to have, as I'm not having white bread, rice or pasta on the detox.

Right. The time is now. I need to do that EHCP...

Good luck WL 💐

Loki you’re doing so well with your eating! Sorry yesterday was tough.

I’m finding myself quite stuck this week. Not sure if it’s still a “hangover” from seeing people on Saturday. I also have been down into town twice in the last week which has been tough on my tolerance levels! I’ve really struggled to get anything done at home.

Spoke to GP today and since the anxiety is still present I’m going to start the escitalopram tomorrow. I’m quite nervous as I’ve never really combined meds before, but hopefully it’ll help (I know it takes a while). The other option would be increasing the stimulants again but I’m not sure I feel ok with that.

It’s weird, some days I’m ok at just getting on with stuff but others it’s like I just don’t have the energy to push past that block.

Hope you got that form completed WLmum 💐

Thanks Sing. Sorry you've not had a great week. I know how you feel. You long to see people and do something but it soon gets overwhelming. Hope you get your meds sorted out 💐

I met up with an old friend for a walk today. It was lovely to have some company but also lovely to get home and have some alone time. It was just nice having a plan for the day and a change of scenery .

Hope you managed to complete it WLmum

Sorry you’ve have a bad week sing I feel drained for ages after socialising sometimes! I feel I go through so many emotions in one day it should be illegal! Feeling depressed, then semi-happy, back to feeling anxious and then a whole other range of feelings! Good luck with the escitalopram

Glad to hear that you had a good time with your friend loki. I get what you mean about the alone time after it all though!

Had an okay day but have been anxious like mad for no reassign! Usually this happens before something bad and life changing happens—gut feelings type thing. Been having odd dreams and nightmares again so hope everything turns out okay I’d somehow managed to convince myself that I had a blood clot from the vaccine as I had a headache and felt nauseous plus in the most “at risk” (though I had Pfizer so hopefully not )

I'm back to feeling anxious. I thought I had sorted out a family issue but it now transpires it hasn't been completely resolved.

I managed to get a good night's sleep but I feel on edge. I will do some breathing exercises and see if they help.

Tea - sorry that the vaccine has made you so anxious. Hope your feeling better soon 💐

Easter - sorry your feeling anxious. Good luck resolving the issue. Hope the breathing exercises help you 💐

I felt okay earlier today. I cooked courgette frittatas and fishcakes. Then went for a 2 hour walk. Bored and lonely now. Don't know what to do with myself.

Thanks all, EHCP submitted this afternoon, and receipt received. I highly doubt we'll get anywhere, but I need to try at least.

loki your dinner sounds yum! I met my brother today for the first time in months and had a long walk. It felt amazing! I had been a bit prowly and anxious in the morning.

tea hope you feel better now - I think there's so much media attention on the vaccines it's hard to know what you actually objectively feel. I often feel the media are irresponsible, and here's another example.

Thanks WLmum. Well done for completing the EHCP form. Hope it goes well. You've done your bit and that's all you can do 💐Glad yesterday was a good day for you. It's nice to have something to look forward to.

WL you’re honestly amazing doing that form! I hope they listen. Is the school behind you or is it that you need to do it because they won’t? We’ve been told it’s pointless by the school as she’s “getting by ok” 🙄 we won’t have any opposition doing one for DS as he’s homeschooled but that also means it’s a huge battle anyway so not sure I have the energy.

I’m not feeling too anxious today (yet 😂). Had my ADHD meds for the first time in 3 days - woke up too late to take it on wed/thurs, being a stimulant if I have it too late I won’t sleep. Day 2 of escitalopram, didn’t notice any side effects yesterday, was super tired but that was likely due to a broken night with 3yo!

Been booking up some homeschool activities for DS. That’s made me feel a bit brighter, as it will make him happier and keep him entertained.

Phew I have managed a bit of admin today. That’s made me feel a bit better. Some of those things were lurking on my to do list making me more anxious! I hate having things hanging over me but a lot of the time I really struggle to just get on with stuff.

Sounds like your having a productive day Sing. Glad you're finding the escitalopram okay. I know what you mean about things hanging over your head.

This week hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I've had a couple of days when I've felt isolated ,irritable and low but the majority of the week I've been able to focus on healthy eating and long walks. I've just done a 2.5 hour walk. I feel tired but in a good way. Sitting in the sun waiting for my train now.

How's everyone doing? 💐

Hi, hope its ok to join? Not sure where to start. So had PND after birth of Dd 8 years ago. Then reoccurring bouts caused by really banal stuff like moving house and deciding hated new house. I was on mirtrazapine for a couple of years then decided I was fine, i was sick of weight gain and feeling sluggish. This was in November last year ( probably not the wisest in middle of ongoing pandemic)and well, a series of things has tipped me into something that I don’t understand, its not full on depression but feels like anxiety with a few panic attacks thrown in. I am apparently terrible with change, even positive change. I have a heavy feeling on the top of my head and no motivation to do anything. I think that maybe lack of social contact has finally done me(hubby is not great talker) as I am wfh and its not a job where you speak to people (also team contact has been poor) plus the school run is not quite the social meet as before.I have seen people this last week but this doesn’t seem to have lifted me. I have a telephone appointment tomorrow but not sure if I will sound slightly pathetic and am not even sure if anti Ds would help.

Welcome washer even good change can be scary and unsettling! You don’t sound pathetic at all. It would be good to make sure the GP knows it’s primarily anxiety rather than depression that’s at play here 💐

Just had my second job coach call. Really glad she’s so nice. She agrees my idea to volunteer with CAB is good - they need admin/reception type help, and that would boost my confidence with then applying for admin jobs. It’s about 20min walk too so doing that once a week could be really good for me. I’ve requested a form before I get too anxious about it.

I think I’m probably done for the day in terms of productivity though. Trying to set up the online stuff for Minecraft (the DCs used their Easter money for online PlayStation membership) and this stuff always confuses the crap out of me and makes me really stressed 😳