Health Anxiety - Part two

[MrsWhites]

Hi everyone, it seems we have reached 1000 posts on our original thread which is amazing, just shows how much support we have been able to give each other.

I thought we would benefit from part two!

Hi everyone. Cat sneezies here, I've name changed as I like to do periodically.

@Skyliner001 yes I don't know why things like breasts/ovaries/cervix seem such risky things to have. It sounds awful but I have thought in the past that if I had to have a mastectomy for some reason that might help my HA. Although I suspect it would make no difference as it would just move onto something else.

I've had a private mammogram at the breast clinic. However, it didn't diagnose or spot my breast cysts, which were only found on ultrasound a few months later. Not sure of costs as it was covered by my insurance.

My sinusitis is better, with much less mucus, but still there a bit and still having sinus pressure. I coughed up a chunk of green mucus on Friday, which is better than the browny orange it was before antibiotics. It is definitely coming from my sinuses i.e. down the back of my throat so I'm not coughing up anything from my lungs. But I suddenly started panicking about there being something wrong with my lungs as I quite often get a tight chest feeling.

I've had the tight chest feeling on and off since last March when I think I had covid. So now I'm convinced I have something like lung cancer?! I keep telling myself that if it was something serious it would be getting worse rather than coming and going but I still keep catarophising.

What I'm really struggling with is whether I should call the GP again as the antibiotics haven't made the sinus pressure or mucus go completely. I think logically there is no need to as the symptoms are mild, its the anxiety that is worse! And I'm worried that if I call him he will order some tests/ask me to make an appointment to see him/refer me just to cover his back rather than because I really need to see someone.

And then I think what if there is something wrong and I have ignored it for a year and that is irresponsible and it will be my fault if I die and leave my DC

@Skyliner001 I’ve had a random poke at my breasts today too after pretty much leaving them alone all week.

I have described mine as ticking time bombs too, my mum had breast cancer (recovered after mastectomy) which is what I think caused my anxiety about my breast, they are 99% focus of my health anxiety. I would describe it more as massive phobia of breast cancer in particular. I just can’t see how I won’t get it, in my head it is just a matter of time. I try to remind myself that my 3 aunties have never been diagnosed with it and their mum (my paternal grandmother had it), all I can see if that it is getting me genetically from both sides! My sister obviously has the same risk level as me but never examines her breasts, just gets on with her life and I don’t think it enters her head!

Don’t even get me started about October - breast cancer awareness month. I can’t watch Lorraine or this morning during that month because I convince myself that they are trying to send me some sort of warning sign!

@onlyreadingneverposting8 yes I feel like that so often! I also try and get myself to believe it sometimes too, in a sort of 'if I'm going to die today there's nothing I can do to stop it happening so I might as well not waste my last few hours worrying about it' but then I can't push the worrying away for long anyway.

I've never focussed on my breasts/ovaries etc. But the only cancer in my family history was my Grandad's lung cancer from a lifetime of smoking. The family history of heart problems combined with me developing hypertension in my 20s kicked off my heart-focussed HA. I guess it does often depend on your own experiences.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

It's so interesting what we all fixated on! I never worry about my heart, just cancer! Occasionally MS.

I did well in the bath tonight. Washed without the sponge and didn't obsess!

Then got dressed and didn't poke. Definitely think evenings are better for me 😊

Looking forward to tea 👀

I only fixate on cancers! Evenings are worst for me @Skyliner001 think it’s because once ds is in bed I don’t really have a distraction if that makes sense! Have been doing my breathing though

After my mum died last month I sue fixate on everything possible however it’s now back to my usual health anxiety x

@Skyliner001 well done tonight!

Thank @tmh88 still so sorry about your mum 🥺

I do think distraction plays a major part, I also think that the lockdown is a pressure cooker for health anxiety.

I only worry about cancer. For me it's the idea of having some control over whether it's diagnosed. With things like MS, motor neurones there's nothing you can do particularly to catch it earlier rather than later. With cancer it's all about detecting it early and that's what I feel is in my control and that's the scary bit, the bit that makes me hyper vigilant.

Have had a better dayish myself...apart from the bit in the paper about the bloody young GP that was on This morning talking about her cancer. You know I wish they'd actually occasionally focus on health anxiety because I think it's very common now!

@Skyliner001 well done for getting through your bath so strong!

I’ve had a couple of little pokes today so not done too well, but I am due on my period and feel absolutely rubbish plus I’ve had a horrible ear ache so it hasn’t been the best day. Determined to have a better day tomorrow.

Hope everyone else has had a good evening...into a new week and month tomorrow ladies, let’s make it a positive one for us all!

Morning all. Hope your Monday is going well

My main focus is cancer too and the thought that we all bear responsibility for noticing early signs of cancer, and how early you notice it often has a bearing on the outcome. I can't watch or read anything to do with cancer, or any medical programmes. I'm also pretty good now at not googling health stuff ever!

My current worry about my sinuses/lungs is a bit out of my usual pattern and I'm really not even thinking I have lung or sinus cancer! But I'm thinking that perhaps I'm being irresponsible for not going back to the GP to say that while the antibiotics made it better it hasn't yet gone. Also because I'm now linking it to the tight chest feeling that I've had on and off since I (probably) had covid last March. I don't even know what I am worrying that it is, just that I find it hard not knowing for sure what it causing it, whether it is a minor irritation like chronic sinusitis that i just have to live with or the symptoms of some unknown fatal illness!

I don't want to speak to you soon but I have done really well today, just one quick check in the morning to check that the cyst had not come back. Don't ask! 😳🙄

Then no checks at all throughout the day, but also no mental circling, and no writing things down.

Feeling pretty proud, and just hoping I can continue it until tomorrow.

Sorry everyone been busy today it’s been a massive help not being able to stop today as I’m on furlough I have too much time to think! Had one poke.. they still feel as they did when I found them in September and I’m beginning to wonder why I let it bother me which is a positibe step!

Glad you’ve had a good day too @Skyliner001

How’s everyone else been?

@KasparKat I am the same no health programmes allowed in my house to be honest I don’t watch much tv just record stuff I want to catch up on but when I do get the odd Macmillan/cancer research advert come on I instantly turn it off!

Morning all. Just realized I wrote a huge post on Sunday that never loaded. Humph.
Anyway, it was more of what I always say only worry about cancer, less if I'm busy.
Have started trying no matter what to get out for a walk every day, no idea if it will help the anxiety but at least it makes me think any aches are just muscular!

Morning everyone. Glad to hear that most people has had a good couple of days with less checks. I did well yesterday until bedtime and then I fell into the trap of having ‘just one little check’!

Busy day today so hopefully will be able to stay away from poking.

Morning, I did exactly the same thing last night!! But managed to get it back under control, determined to have a good day today.

Sorry everyone I’ve had a proper panicked check this morning! No clue why as I do know logically if it was cancer my lymph nodes would of grown in these 5 months! Why do we torture ourselves

Morning all! I had a rubbish evening yesterday into a heated debate with my husband about so many little things and he came back with the lack of intimacy in our marriage.

If only he understood how much of a struggle some days can be!

That then stressed me and the urge to prod was too much!!

I’m worrying about my chest x Ray results :( keep imagining the Dr calling me and telling me to come in right away.

I was doing really well so feeling annoyed at myself today!

Oh @Goolies I’m so sorry to hear that! People really don’t understand the fear it gives it really is a sense of impending doom, it’s a horrible feeling! You have every right to feel worried waiting for your results it’s not a nice thing to have to do whilst I’m sure you will be fine, I was the exact same waiting for my scan results it’s terrifying, I had text results and when I saw nhs pop up it took me 2 hours to get the confidence to read them! It’s terrifying and not something people seem to understand unfortunately! Wish I could give you a hug! Keeping carrying on being strong

@tmh88 thank you for your kind words. The fear is so powerful. All sorts of things keep going around in my head. I don’t even know how the results will be given, do I phone the surgery will they call me, no idea. Amongst all this my husband is just bothered about doing the deed. I am just about functioning with the homeschooling, cooking cleaning working and laundry!

It sounds like a few of us had a anxious evening last night.

@Goolies sorry to hear that you had such a bad night. I’ve been there with my husband, he is generally a lot more understanding now but it has been tough at times. He can’t always understand why I don’t want sex because of some symptom I am focusing on, for example I won’t want him to go near my breasts or sometimes don’t want sex at all when I’m having a worry about a cervical issue...to him it’s nothing to worry about so why would I let it affect me so much but we all know it’s not so easy to put our worries to one side, regardless of how irrational they might be!

Does anyone else get a very slight spotting before periods but not every month. I’m actually stressing this morning because my period is due today but I haven’t had any spotting. I got it last month but think there have been a few months when I have just started the period full flow rather than the couple of days of spotting. Just need to be able to get the thought out of my mind and you ladies are great for reassurance x

When I got my results it was 7am the next day by text and I thought oh Christ that’s not good news! The text literally said “Hi TMH, good news, normal, small lymph nodes” I would ring if you haven’t heard anything but no news is good news! I sometimes reread the text to make me feel better please be kind to yourself! Men never seem to get it like we do, it’s a real fear! I had every worst case scenario going through my mind too but in my head I was terrified and sometimes like this morning still feel that fear too x

Thank you @MrsWhites, I do sometimes forget that people that don’t suffer with health anxiety just see our behaviour as totally alien. My hubby is super laid back about everything! He just doesn’t get where I’m coming from.

Re: periods, yes my periods are different every month. One month I will just start with full flow the next it will stop and start, sometimes spotting2-3 days before and sometimes just one day day before. I think it’s normal we get... ahem older. That’s what the nurse said to me. I honestly don’t think you have anything to worry about x