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Original poster

This is a pointless life

372 replies

inuet · 25/12/2020 06:05

No enjoyment, no socialising, FB groups full of Coronaqueens telling people to "stay safe" and "it's ok to.find it hard, it is hard".
British government and the Daily Mail brigade utterly useless and now celebrating end of freedom of movement. Months more of not being able to do anything just getting more and more pissed off. My local community has turned into a vipers nest of curtain twitchers and sanctimonious busybodies. The longer this goes on the more life lost and the more pointless it seems carrying on when life is just an endless load of crap.

OP posts:
BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 22:17

@waterlego

I’m glad you have found some relief by walking your dog daily. Animals can be very therapeutic too. Like you said, for you the medication underpins the main course of treatment, and walking is just an extra tool to add to the self care kit. It obviously will not work for everybody.

@OuiOuiKitty

Insightful post. I’ve noticed that a lot on mumsnet too (the pity that is given to others who’s lives haven’t changed that much). Perhaps these are the corona queens the OP is referring to in her initial post? They couldn’t possibly understand her woes, as they seem to be coping okay?

Northernsoulgirl45 · 26/12/2020 22:18

@OuiOuiKitty yes all these children whose mental health will be in tatters if they have to isolate for 10 to 14 days and whose lives are ruined because they missed a term and a halfs school. No it isn't great of course and two of my dds definitely lost out. The eldest had all her exams cancelled and it isn't looking great for the ones she has in January. But here's the thing. One of my dds has pretty much missed a whole years school due to undiagnosed SEN and Mental Health issues. This dd has barely left the house apart from to attend very limited CBT and has a few hours a week tuition by Teams. The situation was dire ware COVID but COVID has undoubtedly made the situation worse. But it is pointless dwelling on it. We are now looking to the future but it is still stressful every day she has a session as we never know if she will be well enough to engage.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 22:39

@Northernsoulgirl45

Your daughter might find the “an idiots guide to CBT” book quite helpful whilst she is waiting for any specialised treatment. I’ve lent this book out to a few teen girls at work, and they have really found it quite useful. More so than other books. It has simplified explanations of common thinking styles that lead to anxiety, and quite a few practical exercises, plus lots of useful info etc.

Northernsoulgirl45 · 26/12/2020 22:42

Thank you. @BaileyBoos I will take a look.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 22:42

@Northernsoulgirl45

The correct title of the book is “CBT for dummies”. Not a huge fan of the title but I’ve had good reviews from teen girls, so worth a shot. It’s quite cheap to buy online.

Eckhart · 27/12/2020 08:36

@Rockybooboo

EcKhart. How do you think I should have renacted in the example I gave.
As an upset adult. I'm very sorry you had such an awful experience.

Using it as a tool to try to catch a stranger out on the internet to make them admit that sometimes adults should lash out is... just beyond me, frankly. We've all had horrible experiences. We don't use them to teach people that it's ok for us to behave unacceptably.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 09:27

EcKhart. I have never used the word should and have implied that all adult

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 09:43

Sorry I got distracted chatting to a friend about our walk today. Eckhart I've never implied that an adult should lash out. I gave you an example of something that caused me to snap. Why would I want to catch you out? This is not a game. We're having a serious discussion about mental health and the way it human behaviour.

BaileyBoos · 27/12/2020 09:55

@Rockybooboo
Your example was completely different to the OP, and very extreme in terms of the spectrum of human emotions. You spoke about the death of a child, which is at the far end of the spectrum. Not comparable to being currently unable to travel.

Yes, MH is subjective, but there needs to be perspective, or doesn’t there? Is it okay if Susan down the road lashes out at her neighbour because her husband didn’t buy her a diamond for her birthday? After all she’s entitled to feel angry.

At what point do we take responsibility for our emotional reactions!? This is often the first step that underpins cognitive behavioural therapy, and there are further therapies such as dialectical behavioural therapy which can help people to control their emotions in healthier ways. It does however require some effort on the persons part.

You have to feel your emotions, but the reactions to those emotions can be controlled in healthier ways.

Eckhart · 27/12/2020 10:23

@Rockybooboo

Sorry I got distracted chatting to a friend about our walk today. Eckhart I've never implied that an adult should lash out. I gave you an example of something that caused me to snap. Why would I want to catch you out? This is not a game. We're having a serious discussion about mental health and the way it human behaviour.
Why did you ask me how you should have responded in the awful situation you were in, then? I think I've misunderstood what motivated you to ask, and so, perhaps have not answered the question?

I thought you were trying to prove that some situations warrant unjustifiable behaviour.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 10:25

BaileyBoos. But the OP's posts aren't just about travel are they? From my memory, she mentionsaid neighbours turning against each other over the rules. And to be honest I think venting on an anonymous forum is a good thing way of getting your frustration out.

BaileyBoos · 27/12/2020 10:44

@Rockybooboo

Absolutely. Didn’t go down as well as she hoped though did it when others had a contrasting opinion, that was classed as drivel? It’s one thing to vent and quite another to be rude.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 10:55

Maybe they should have ' I just want to vent' section. The OP can just get stuff off their chests. I volunteered as a Samaritins and we weren't allowed to pass judgement or give advice. I guess that the OP could be feeling so low that they're not ready to take advice.

BaileyBoos · 27/12/2020 11:01

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BaileyBoos · 27/12/2020 11:04

Perhaps there should be a venting post on mumsnet whereby there is a disclaimer which proposes people can be as rude as they want to others, because they are entitled to do so, because of their feelings.

Hmm entitled much?

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 11:12

It's not for myself BaileyBoos so I'm not sure how it's entitled. I thought ot might be helpful to people like the OP. Yes I'm aware Mumsnet is not the Samaritans.

Eckhart · 27/12/2020 11:20

It's a forum, where people come to have discussions about things that interest them, and to get other people's opinions on their own situations.

It's not a counselling service or a place for people to vent their rage and negativity in a way that is abusive to strangers.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 11:24

And no BaileyBoos I didn't suggest that the OP can be rude to peogle. You've put that statement in. I suggested they could just get out their personal feelings out without being told for example they need to be more resilient.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 11:30

EcKhart I know this is a forum hence why I suggested something separate. The original post wasn't rude to anyone.

Calmandmeasured1 · 27/12/2020 11:31

Northernsoul your post has totally and utterly pissed me off. Is saying that you don't like the miserable apology for a life now on offer and that you liked travelling now tantamount to saying that you have no empathy for people who have lost those to this? Is bereavement in the pandemic the only one that now counts and yes I lost a job as well but it wasn't that I was focussing on. I'm already feeling worse thanks to your post, thanks a lot.
Well, some could say thanks a lot for your depressing, misery-inducing post.
Have some awareness. If you are sick of the misery of life at the mo, others probably are too and they probably don't need a depressing post to add to it. Some people just seem to wallow in the misery and others try and help everyone by staying as positive as possible. If you need help because of depression, see a GP.

I think there has been a lot of empathy for those who are depressed or even just naturally negative but there comes a time when you have to accept that some things can't be changed and moaning and whingeing about it doesn't help. It is better for us to be accepting and focus on doing what we can to make things better.

You hate where you live - can you not focus on doing what you can to be able to move and, in the meantime do what you can to make improvements to your home circumstances?

Could you not go on-line and research places you want to visit? Plan your travel itineries for when you can go in the future (as, presumably, you would do that at some point before you travel. Why not now?).

Restriction in freedom of movement in the EU countries doesn't mean you can't go to them at all.

As for the fake jollyness of Christmas, could that just a reflection of your general negativity?

BaileyBoos · 27/12/2020 11:51

@Rockybooboo

Not a statement, it was a fact, the OP was indeed rude to others.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 27/12/2020 11:55

@Rockybooboo

Maybe they should have ' I just want to vent' section. The OP can just get stuff off their chests. I volunteered as a Samaritins and we weren't allowed to pass judgement or give advice. I guess that the OP could be feeling so low that they're not ready to take advice.
I think this is a good idea. Some people don't have people they can safely vent to. The anonymity would help many too rather than Facebook etc.
Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 12:00

[quote BaileyBoos]@Rockybooboo

Not a statement, it was a fact, the OP was indeed rude to others.[/quote]
So if you.felt that the OP is rude. Why not just walk away from the thread? It's not like you're forced to respond.

Rockybooboo · 27/12/2020 12:07

Alltheisernames agreed and zither Samaritins are great but they rely on volunteers and also people think they can only use them if they're suicidal even though they are happy to take calls from people feeling low (better to catch it early).

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 27/12/2020 12:09

Yup.

My life has been utter utter shit for years now because of illness and god awful lack of support and finally intervention that was a sledge hammer to a nail. It ruined my life. And continues to have a significant impact - but I’d have come in here and moaned about it I’d have been seen off and belittled.

I have no sympathy left, I’m afraid.