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This is a pointless life

372 replies

inuet · 25/12/2020 06:05

No enjoyment, no socialising, FB groups full of Coronaqueens telling people to "stay safe" and "it's ok to.find it hard, it is hard".
British government and the Daily Mail brigade utterly useless and now celebrating end of freedom of movement. Months more of not being able to do anything just getting more and more pissed off. My local community has turned into a vipers nest of curtain twitchers and sanctimonious busybodies. The longer this goes on the more life lost and the more pointless it seems carrying on when life is just an endless load of crap.

OP posts:
waterlego · 26/12/2020 17:00

People like you have no idea! Why don’t you just shut up yeah before making people feel worse

I feel like I’m in a parallel universe. I can’t for the life of me see what you found so upsetting or offensive in Northernsoul’s post. She acknowledged that the current situation is tough (and how it is tough for her specifically) then made a few suggestions for what might help. What on earth is wrong with that?

amicissimma · 26/12/2020 17:05

[quote BaileyBoos]@amicissimma

Well In that context a year is a very long time. For the “average” life expectancy in this country it really isn’t. It’s shit, totally.... but not a completely pointless existence.[/quote]
The point I was trying to make was that people have different stuff going on in their lives which makes enforced social isolation for a year a very different experience for one person to another.

I find the number of people trying to minimise another person's distress because their experience of and/or reaction to these circumstances is different, is very disturbing.

Eckhart · 26/12/2020 17:07

@waterlego

People like you have no idea! Why don’t you just shut up yeah before making people feel worse

I feel like I’m in a parallel universe. I can’t for the life of me see what you found so upsetting or offensive in Northernsoul’s post. She acknowledged that the current situation is tough (and how it is tough for her specifically) then made a few suggestions for what might help. What on earth is wrong with that?

It doesn't buy into OP's narrative. That's the point of this thread. OP wanted everyone to join in abut how shit life is.
Rockybooboo · 26/12/2020 17:11

EcKhart. At no point did I describe my experience as universal. Im trying to understand OPs point of view and her description of feelings of desolation sound similar to how i felt at low points. If that's the case she will be low and snappy. I would not have been able to hack people telling me to pull myself together, it would have made me feel worse. She's taken action by sharing how bad she's feeling on mumsnet. Probably thought she'd get some understanding and kindness.

AldiAisleofCrap · 26/12/2020 17:17

Hopefully they will close the schools and stop trying to be popular while thousands die.
Op your comments are insulting to many , many people who have fulfilled happy lives, but do not and will not ever have the resources to travel.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 17:27

@amicissimma

Please point out where I have minimised or invalidated the OPs feelings? I have already stated she is more than entitled to have her feelings in these terrible times. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was the OP being rude to anyone with a contrasting opinion, by calling other peoples opinions on this matter “drivel”.

Of course this is all subjective you would have to be an utter moron not to realise that but the OP has been derogatory to others who have not agreed with her own personal narrative. The fact is many people don’t find life at the minute pointless, and that doesn’t make us “corona queens”.

dementedma · 26/12/2020 17:32

And the constant advice to " go for a nice walk"!
Like thats going to solve anything

southeastdweller · 26/12/2020 17:40

[quote BaileyBoos]@amicissimma

Please point out where I have minimised or invalidated the OPs feelings? I have already stated she is more than entitled to have her feelings in these terrible times. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was the OP being rude to anyone with a contrasting opinion, by calling other peoples opinions on this matter “drivel”.

Of course this is all subjective you would have to be an utter moron not to realise that but the OP has been derogatory to others who have not agreed with her own personal narrative. The fact is many people don’t find life at the minute pointless, and that doesn’t make us “corona queens”.[/quote]
You can try and backtrack now but you said earlier in the thread OP had a 'victim mentality' - how is that not minimising or invalidating her feelings?

daisychain01 · 26/12/2020 17:46

It doesn't buy into OP's narrative. That's the point of this thread. OP wanted everyone to join in abut how shit life is.

Y'know, I get this. Before being able to get 'unstuck' from a life challenge, it's necessary to take stock, have a bit of a wallow and gain support from friends, family or even a thread here. That's no bad thing. But then it's far more healthy to look beyond the immediate and think "how can I change my circumstances for the better even while this shitstorm is happening".

A very common theme on these type of threads is that people who are unhappy, even depressed, were that way before Covid was a thing. What's now happened is that they feel locked into that situation with no control over their life. The OP even says that they don't like living where they are.

So why not use this time, when there are fewer distractions, to plan forward what to do when this situation is under control. Making a plan gives people back control, gives a sense of purpose and gives life meaning.

A great book I can recommend is Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning". Frankl was a WWII concentration camp PoW, and he identified that the one element in life that enables people to carry on, even when they are on the bones of their arse, with no hope, is finding Meaning in their life. You may wonder what meaning could he have possibly found in a death camp where all his dignity had been stripped away, all belongings gone? Exactly, none, but he found meaning because he searched for it, every day, tiny little micro-deeds, until he was liberated.

MajesticWhine · 26/12/2020 17:50

Going for a walk may not help everyone - however physical activity and spending time in nature are both proven to be beneficial for wellbeing so it is perfectly good advice.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 17:54

@southeastdweller

I have no need to back track. It’s quite possible the OP does indeed have a victim mentality? She is not interested in other people on this board who have tried to help her, or give suggestions that have came from a good place? (And not an invalidating one).

The OP didn’t want to know (fair enough), but then the OP was incredibly rude to other posters, who were perhaps trying to help?

That’s not a sign of distress, that is a sign of wallowing and learned helplessness, which is very often correlated with a victim mentality.

Oblomov20 · 26/12/2020 17:59

I agree with OP and think that this is a shit time, despite the fact I don't have much to moan about because we've got jobs, (I got a new one after being made redundant) and no illness.

But I don't believe the Government re vaccine, and I don't think it's going to be over soon, or by summer, and I predict another 6 week lockdown in Jan.

Seeing my friends is a big part of my life. And travelling. And the privileged comment earlier at the start of the thread really hacked me off too.

I doubt / predict none of you Will be going on your summer holidays in June 21 ! and actually I do believe that that will be a year and a half since it started in February 20 - that's a long time and it will do a lot of damage, to everybody, and businesses, and mental health and everything. so yeah I do think this is bad .

amicissimma · 26/12/2020 18:07

@BaileyBoos, I didn't name any posters. But there are a lot of posts that do. And I think that's unkind and unhelpful.

I think the OP is struggling and I think sympathy is more helpful than being negative towards her for her feelings. I don't know what she wants people to do or say, I'm not a mind reader, but I've no reason to think she wants everyone to join in with how she feels.

And not agreeing with you doesn't make me a moron.

Rockybooboo · 26/12/2020 18:10

BaileyBoos distressed people are often rude and lash out. My dad worked as a coronor officer and it was his job to tell relatives that a loved one was dead. He got shouted at and punched. Distress makes you irrational.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 18:12

@amicissimma

I did not say you was a moron. If you read back you will see that I was agreeing with you in that our experience of covid is subjective. This was in response to you saying we all deal with things differently. Of course we do.

The OP did have sympathy, but she was rude to those who were giving it.

I don’t know what she wanted either, perhaps for everyone else to agree with her opinion that currently life is pointless? She didn’t get that though. Not everyone is finding life pointless, and we are not corona queens for failing to agree with her narrative.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 18:12

@Rockybooboo

So you are saying the OP is being irrational then?

Eckhart · 26/12/2020 18:15

@Rockybooboo

BaileyBoos distressed people are often rude and lash out. My dad worked as a coronor officer and it was his job to tell relatives that a loved one was dead. He got shouted at and punched. Distress makes you irrational.
And you think that everybody should just suck it up, even though OP has posted on an internet forum, and therefore specifically requested people's opinions?
Mumof3andlovingit · 26/12/2020 18:16

I was just going to say that some people are abroad on holiday. There are places where you can go if you really want to. My sister and her family in returned from Dubai last week. I’m sure there’s other places too

Rockybooboo · 26/12/2020 18:17

BaileyBoo. No disagreeing with you for saying that being rude is not a sign of distress.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 26/12/2020 18:17

I get you OP. Our most simple pleasures in life have been taken from us for almost a whole year.
I'm feeling really shit today, we've had high water in the area, was on flood risk, T4 over Christmas, couldn't see the inlaws, DDs birthday today and were stuck in. It feels most unfair because we should be on Holiday.

Yes it sounds absolutely like a first class problem, but our holidays are the pleasure we look forward to. I just want to feel some warmth, see the sun and swim.

That doesn't mean that I'm not sad for people who have lost work this year, we have.
Thats not to say I don't feel lucky to be alive, I am.
It doesn't mean I don't understand people are facing tough times.

Just some of us would like to escape to the things we find enjoyment from.

Fingers crossed for 2021!

waterlego · 26/12/2020 18:18

I doubt / predict none of you Will be going on your summer holidays in June 21

It wouldn’t surprise me if I couldn’t take a holiday this year- I’m certainly not banking on it. Not sure we could afford on this year anyway given my Covid-related loss of income.

But just think what an absolutely amazing treat it is going to feel like when we finally CAN take a holiday! The thought of sitting outside a cafe drinking a beer in the sun is keeping me going. I can wait a bit longer for it in the knowledge it’ll be all the sweeter when it arrives.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 18:18

@Rockybooboo

Also telling someone their loved one is dead, is not really comparable to being unable to travel, is it not? Hmm. That’s a very poor example.

AJTracey · 26/12/2020 18:41

I agree OP its shit!

Guess what sanctimonious cretins, I lost my job and a parent due to covid.
But I still miss travel, theatre, live music fun and freedom.
I loathe walking in the cold, wet and grey country side, baking, zoom shite, dogs, gardening so shuv it and don’t suppose everyone else is like you.

BaileyBoos · 26/12/2020 18:46

@AJTracey

No one is saying the OP should not feel upset because she is missing travel. It’s clearly important to her. Again, the point has been missed entirely. The OP has been rude to other posters who do NOT feel the same way as she does, ironically invalidating their current experience. Feeling okay, or having coping mechanisms is nothing but “drivel”. ( OPs words).

So if you’re not suffering from any mental health problems you are now classed as sanctimonious?

Right Hmm.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 26/12/2020 18:49

[quote BaileyBoos]@Rockybooboo

Also telling someone their loved one is dead, is not really comparable to being unable to travel, is it not? Hmm. That’s a very poor example.[/quote]
But this year is a broad spectrum of shit.
From the milder end of not being able to do the things that make you happy to losing jobs, houses and loved ones.
Even if you managed to remain in work and not have any family members who got sick, you're still surrounded by the suffering of others. This impacts normal people.
You're missing an empathy chromosome if you can't understand people being miserable and losing hope this year.