This is a pointless life

[inuet]

No enjoyment, no socialising, FB groups full of Coronaqueens telling people to "stay safe" and "it's ok to.find it hard, it is hard".
British government and the Daily Mail brigade utterly useless and now celebrating end of freedom of movement. Months more of not being able to do anything just getting more and more pissed off. My local community has turned into a vipers nest of curtain twitchers and sanctimonious busybodies. The longer this goes on the more life lost and the more pointless it seems carrying on when life is just an endless load of crap.

BaileyBoos you very specifically said that people who are distressed are not rude.i It's disingenuous to say that all we've lost is travel. It's illegal for me to visit my mum, it's illegal for.me to pop around a friend so my daughter can play with abother child, Im worried buabout my frIends who's husband has been diagnosed with cancer and is battling it without having being able to have her mates over to help her. I'm worried about the impact it's having an economy and my child's education, I worry about the fact that I'm stuck at home in an unhappy marriage and I'm worried about going into work when we've had an outbreak. On Sunday when I woke up in tier 3 day I felt despair. The difference between when my dad died and I lost my baby at 8 months pregnant, my distress was allowed but during lockdown, any sign of anger or sadness of the life we made for ourselves is belittled as being trivial.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

I’m not missing in empathy. My husband has been made redundant this year and he is yet to find word, etc etc. I’m not here to play corona oneupmanship though. I’m sure plenty have had it better, and plenty have had it worse.

The OP is absolutely entitled to feel like shit. I took objection to her criticism of other posters who were trying to help her, and certainly not invalidate her. Particularly the “corona queens” as she so kindly puts them in her initial post.

Eckhart I can't see where the OP has asked for opinons. She just wanted to vent.

@Rockybooboo

I have never once said that life currently isn’t shit for people. I’ve said it wasn’t pointless (for me personally) this is what this thread was originally about. OP was rude to people who had this point of view, aka an opposing view to herself.

Indirect invalidation.

I lash out when upset and people try and belittle my feelings.

@Rockybooboo

Eckhart I can't see where the OP has asked for opinons. She just wanted to vent.

It's a forum. If you put your feelings out, people will comment. It's pretty basic.

@Rockybooboo

Who was trying to belittle the OPs feelings? From what I can gather from further up the thread it really wasn’t okay to be okay? Drivel was it not?

At one point do you take responsibility for your “lashing out” Rocky? Is that something we all have to accept? That’s a modern day equivalent of walking on eggshells. Something that won’t happen on a discussion forum.

@Rockybooboo

I lash out when upset and people try and belittle my feelings.

You'll be wanting to get that under control, otherwise people will think you're being childish. Have you looked into more grown up ways of expressing yourself and dealing with your emotions?

Baileyboos, totally agree with your posts.

It’s not that someone is depressed/low/angry/distressed. That is all understandable. It was the attitude of the OP when others tried to make suggestions that might help.

Thank you @waterlego

@inuet please can you let us know that you are ok? I ask in a professional capacity, I'm not interested in people arguing I just read your posts and they indicate a few things to me which concern me.

And the constant advice to " go for a nice walk"!
Like thats going to solve anything
It works for me and it is pretty standard advice from professionals dealing with health/wellbeing.

Eckhart/BaileyBoo please can you give me an example of a mature way of dealing with several people telling me I could always try for another within months of my baby being born dead at 8 months. I was angry and going through the 'why me' phase.

And yes Eckhart telling another adult how to express themselves more maturely is really patronising and that has been the tone of your responses to the OP. It's not blatantly rude just very. very condescending.

@Northernsoulgirl45

*And the constant advice to " go for a nice walk"! Like thats going to solve anything* It works for me and it is pretty standard advice from professionals dealing with health/wellbeing.

No it absolutely isn't pretty standard advice from professionals dealing with health/wellbeing.

@southeastdweller it has been said to me quite a few times on courses I have done and indeed the psychologist seeing dd said the same thing pretty much. Anyway all ,I was saying is that on a personal level it helps me.

@Rockybooboo

What you are describing is having your feelings invalidated. Me and Eckhart have not invalidated the OP, so I’m not sure why you want specific advice on how to deal with your emotions? It’s not up to us to tell others how to feel (like we keep repeating).

We just simply noticed her being rude and (ironically) invalidating towards other people who were trying to give helpful suggestions, or who did not agree that life is completely pointless.

Quick Google on NHS page recommends exercise for mild depression. I know walking is hardly hard core but it still constitutes exercise and may be the right level for someone struggling.

@southeastdweller

It’s standard advice from mental health professionals that exercise can be helpful. My uncle is bipolar and has his own self care regime which includes daily walks, good sleep hygiene etc. Along with medication, this has kept him out of hospital for many years. When he neglects his daily exercise and sleep hygiene it doesn’t matter how much medication he takes, he will end up in hospital. He accepts he has a certain amount of control when it comes to fostering good mental health. He knows he will never be cured but feels empowered that his own choices can stop him from needing inpatient treatment.

O and I also belong to a walking for Mental Health Health Group @southeastdweller so this the point where I am coming from on this.

Absolutely @BaileyBoos. I wonder why @southeastdweller is so sure it isn't and what experience she has in this respect.
You are absolutely right about the sleep hygiene too. This is a big thing for dd and funnily enough fresh air and exercise helps sleep too.

Yes, life has changed beyond belief this time last year I was just back from an Antarctic expidition. However, I am financially fine, healthy and have a family who are coping OK. Our expectations have shrunk, but life is still so bloody wonderful we run, walk, play together. We have had a fabulous Christmas of food, games and love. It is different, and I hope next year is back to normal, but we are so fortunate to be living the life we live

BaileyBoo you asked me when was I going to take responsibility for 'lashing out' and implying that people would have to walk on eggshells around me so I'm asking you how I should have reacted in the example gave you.
I'm also pointing out that the poster stated in her post begat she was feeling depressed due to the current situation and you've used words like victim mentality. She might be the happiest brightest person under normal circumstances but under these she's struggling.

@Northernsoulgirl45

Absolutely *@BaileyBoos. I wonder why @southeastdweller* is so sure it isn't and what experience she has in this respect. You are absolutely right about the sleep hygiene too. This is a big thing for dd and funnily enough fresh air and exercise helps sleep too.

Years of training and work experience in this field is why I'm sure.

Another point that has frequently been made on threads when a Corona Queen is complaining about people not following self isolation rules you get literally loads of people saying how damaging it is for a child's Mental Health to stay indoors for 14 well now 10 days at a time and that their child has not complied.
Confusing eh