can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Okay, my three things are:

• find my daughter's hair clip she wants
• make pizza dough
• wash up the stuff I've been soaking by the sink

Actually, I'm feeling much better and motivated today! Thanks for everyone's support.

Thank you so much for the motivation and kind words. I'm running late for work so I'll reply properly later but my list is:
Hoover conservatory
Plant plants that desperately need to be planted
Do something with my 13yo- maybe a dog walk, cooking.

He's struggling atm, and it makes me sad that he doesn't want to spend time with me. I know in many ways this is normal but due to lockdown he really only has me and DH and so I think it would be nice to spend some time together, sigh!

Good luck with your lists everyone. I'll be back to post properly later.

@ejecoms - it's funny how just knowing other people struggle and having a thread about it can help with motivation.

been for long walk and picnic - it was amazing - a ruined mill by a pond and loads of wild poppies in the fields.
Have to hang out the washing and pick up some milk, then make dinner. That's it for today. For me: long bath in bubbles with a book.

It's a great idea to add something on the list for you, I'll give it a go.

@monkeyonthetable glad you had a lovely walk, it sounds beautiful. Your pasta dish sounds delicious, is it from a recipe. It's great that you are planning a soak and a read just for you too.

@ejecoms it must be lovely to live close to a beach. I hope you make it there soon. Hope you have got in ok with your list and I'm glad you are feeling a little better today.

I've not done that well with my list because I managed to have a socially distanced walk with a friend. We walked about 7 miles. DS walked ahead with my friends son, all 2m apart and they chatted non stop which has made me so so happy!

Hopefully I'll catch up on my jobs later. If not I will roll them forward to tomorrow.

I haven't done the bed but I'm having a shower soon while my sister gets my shopping.

Sounds like @monkeyonthetable and @peoplepleaser1 had lovely walks! I didn't manage to get my kids out of the house, but I did get what I wanted done - in fact I had quite a productive day yesterday. Did you manage to have your shower @Terralee?

This morning I feel a bit like it is groundhog day. Same struggles. I plan to:

• have a shower and get dressed
• sort out my emails
• get the kids dressed, breakfast and teethbrushed

I'll treat myself to a cup of coffee in the garden once I've done that

Hope you all have a productive day!

Morning everyone

@peoplepleaser1 that walk sounds gorgeous. Healthy exercise and seeing a friend count as two things.

Three things today:
clean kitchen
work for 3 hours
cook a BBQ

@ejecoms - I really struggle with that Groundhog Day feeling too. I try to do something I've never done before as often as possible to try and get rid of it. Listen to a new, different sort of podcast while sorting laundry, try a different flavour of drink etc. Would that help?

@monkeyonthetable good luck with your list today.

I'm sure I've read that doing something new is good for the neural pathways and can help rewire ingrained ways of thinking. It's certainly worth a try. I've never been keen on routine, which plays havoc with being organised- but since lockdown that Groundhog Day feeling is something I've not enjoyed.

@ejecoms good luck with your list also and I hope you enjoy that coffee sooner rather than later.

My list:
Finally plant those plants
3 hours of work (I'm a dog Walker)
2 loads of washing and put away existing washing

And for me I'm hoping to have a walk with a friend this evening.

Hi I managed to have a shower last night then a wash this morning before a work friend came round. I also tidied the house & washed up.
I'm going to have a shower early ish tomorrow morning.

@Terralee - you are squeaky clean right now !

@peoplepleaser1 - did you get those plants potted? I have some on my to-do list too.

@ejecoms - how was today?

Well I didn't do any of the things i planned to do. And didn;t get out for a walk either. Felt really flat today. Bit upset by all the bad news around. Often I try to ignore it, but I don't really want to turn my back on what's happening right now.

But at least I managed to do two laundry loads, put away two (other) laundry loads, so it's not piling up too much; measure up for and order a replacement shower surround as ours has broken, write a letter, sort out a walk with a friend (first face to face contact with anyone other than family since mid March) call my parents, cook the BBQ (went well - had never done one on open coals grill before and DC really appreciated it) and had a bath.

Actually spent most of today online just surfing FB and MN and Redditt but writing down what I did manage to do makes me feel a bit less useless.

@monkeyonthetable Sounds like you got a lot done! And having the walk to look forward to will be lovely. Hopefully the weather will continue like this. Things seem to be crazy in the world at the moment. I have been trying to cut down on how much I read.

@Terralee Sound like you are doing well to shower regularly and doing the washing up on top and seeing a friend is great.

@peoplepleaser1 Did you get your jobs down? How has covid affected your work? I imagine most people are now able to walk their dog themselves but there are some people who can’t do it due to disability.

I am finding this thread very helpful. I got my jobs done yesterday and I even cleared out DD’s room. It looks lovely and tidy now and she can actually use her desk. I got rid of about a bin bag of rubbish and put lots of stuff back where it belongs. Now I’m lying in bed thinking about what jobs I’ll do today.

I think these will be:

• keep in the good routine we have had the last couple of days, making sure that the DCs get dressed, brush teeth etc and have a decent break from screens
• put the laundry away
• clean the kitchen especially the wall which is covered in dust and splashes from cooking.

Thanks for all your support!

Hi there I feel exactly the same and it’s getting worse by the day. I have so many things I could be doing but I just don’t do them. Am restless and anxious all the time. Will have a read through this thread.

Hi everyone.

Just back from a walk with DC which was lovely. Really refreshing. I missed yesterday's.

Today's three things:
hoover downstairs
mop downstairs
tidy downstairs

DS2 is cooking today and we've all agreed to dress up for the occasion. Should be fun.

Welcome @littlemiss74 Hope it's useful.

Did you get your jobs done @monkeyonthetable ? Sounds like a lovely walk. I am envious as have been at home with the DCs who don't want to leave! They would be quite happy on lockdown forever I think.

My 3 jobs for today are:

• clear out the cupboard under the stairs
• clear out the areas where the coats are
• vacuum under DS's bed - DD dropped her soft toy under it yesterday and it was horrific!

Once I've got those done I'll treat myself to a coffee table that I want for the room I've cleared out (if DH agrees)

DS is zooming his friends and playing Minecraft so I can hear what is going on in their houses as well. It is reassuring that it is just the same as our house - I think the parents are all in bed, the kids are on screens downstairs and bickering!

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been awol. Tricky couple of days parenting my teenager but hoping for a better day today.

Wishing everyone a good day with three ticks on their list and sending positive vibes.

My list for today;
Plant courgettes
Take dad's grocery shopping to him (he isolating and alone so he is struggling)
Cook Sunday dinner

@peoplepleaser1 - hope things are looking up. Teens struggle without the routine and outlet of school/friends/jobs/clubs. It's hard for the, - and us as their parents. Nice to have you back.

I got 2/3 jobs done. Hoovered and tidied. Didn't mop. DS was cooking up a storm in the kitchen and needed help but also was making a mess, so I figured the floor mopping would be better done afterwards. (Job for today)

Today so far -
went for a walk (with a friend!!!! - First person I've had a conversation with irl except for DH and DC in ten weeks.) It was lovely.

Online Zoom meeting due to last 2 hours has just been cancelled so I need to make an effort and do something else instead.

Think I'll:

• mow the lawn.
• wash a window. Just one. Very low motivation today and the windows are filthy. But if I say just one, I'm more likely to do it than if I tell myself to do them all.
• cook dinner

Also want to have a bath and get on with some reading.

@ejecoms good job list. I recognise that shock of discovering what under DC's bed really looks like Cupboard under the stairs is a major job. You deserve a treat on your list after achieving that one.

I’ve read through the thread and there are some great ideas and motivation thanks. My problem is having so many things I want to do I just don’t know what to do first. How do you decide which 3 to pick when there are so many things that need doing?

Also I am terrible for starting something and not finishing! The other say I started sorting through playroom but then something else came up so I had to abandon the job with piles of crap everywhere. I’ve not got round to getting back and finishing it. Weather is so nice it would feel rude not to just sit in garden all day!!

I am also having problems with my ds 12 and would really appreciate any tips on how you are dealing with this. He is becoming rude, disobedient and quite defiant which I’m sure is down to his age but is not helped by the lockdown situation - I’m in vulnerable group so I’m not keen to mix yet with other families.

Hi I had a shower this lunchtime, it was hard to get motivated but I'm glad I did.
Now I've got to:
Feed the cat
Wash the dishes
Water the plants
Phone a friend at 8pm

Well done @monkeyonthetable ! Good work on the jobs. It sounds like you’ve been busy.

I’ve done my jobs! I’m very pleased (although some of the stuff I’ve just moved to other places!). It was amazing how much stuff we managed to fit in it. However I did discover lots of other things that needed sorting out.

@Littlemiss74 it sounds like your DS is having a hard time with lockdown. Is there anything particular difficult for him? Is it worth exploring with him what might help him?

Yes same here, I went to sweep my shed floor, when I was supposed to be painting a half painted kitchen. I have a fridge freezer under the staircase, and it's broken, so getting a new one, but I have to heave out the fridge,as wan't to paint behind it, and have been putting this off, for three weeks now, especially as I know there has been a dead mouse behind it for several weeks now.

I will definitely do things tomorrow. !!

Well I cooked dinner - which everyone appreciated. But DH mowed the lawn so that job got done for me. I did some work instead. Still have to clean a window before bed. But that's it for today.