can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

I'm drinking. My ds has been parslysed for 5 weeks now - fnd, my asd puberty struck dd is flailing. My ex is nearly useless.

I cannot see a good healthy happy future for my ds

and it's only 8.30

my ex broke our family

Sending hugs and hope xxx

thanks snog how have you been the last couple of days?

Hey colouringindoors how are you doing?

I've lost 2lb so that feels positive but have been quite low energy and off colour for about a week. I'm not sure if dieting is making me feel worse or better!

My best achievement was finding a nice piece of furniture on gumtree after looking for absolutely ages so I'm really pleased about that. And annoyance of the day was a flat car battery.

Suprisingly I've been asked to make an appointment for breast screening but I find it painful (breasts hurt for 6 weeks afterwards last time) and I don't want to go! Thinking of putting it off for 6 months or so when COVID will hopefully have died down although numbers currently quite low in my area.

Do you have anything lined up for the weekend?

Hi nice to hear about your Gumtree bargain - i find that sort of thing v satisfying!

Difficult to know sometimes with dieting, I guess you have to take the 2lb loss and see what next week's like?

My neighbour's coming round tomorrow eve for wine and film which will be nice. Oh and my dd is gaving a major haircut tomorrow so she's vv excited.

How about you?

Your weekend plans sound good. I don't have any really except to pick up the hundreds of crab apples in the garden - enough to fill an entire large green wheelie bin!

you mean you're not going to make crab apple jelly?! just took dd to have drastic haircut. She looks fab 😍

Fancy a nap now!

Oh wow! Congrats to your dd on her bravery to go for a big change, I'm sure it will give her a boost.

I've never made crab apple jelly! I'm not a fan of jellies though other than quince jelly with cheese. The tree came free from the council 20 years ago for everyone who had a millennium baby... I ordered a pear tree but they had run out so just turned up with this one and if I knew how annoying picking up crab apples would be every year I would have told them to take it away 😆.

We've been tidying up our living room to celebrate the new gumtree acquisition and I've managed to get rid of a load of dvds. Always feels good to get rid of some clutter!

Hope you have a fun Sunday.

thanks. Well done on the clear up - gettung rid of clutter def helps.

I've been freaking about future money, work pension as divorcee - bleak. But just finished session with therapist so bit better now. Helpful to have her say I have to put myself first at the moment (vv hard for me). Feel so useless and feeble. Hard to believe things will be different one day.

woke up at midday!!! not what i had in mind for this morning!

Lol - you must have needed the sleep. It's definitely a good idea to focus on yourself when you have had so much change to cope with.

Try not to fret too much about future finances, we do not know what the future holds and don't want to spend all our time in the present worrying about it.

Things will settle down and you will be able to establish your own goals and priorities.

My diet is still going well but I've been extremely tired (not sure if related) so no walking for me. Have been watching too much TV and feeling down about corona numbers increasing again.

My dd's mental health seems to be improving a bit now she is back on medication and she has been brighter so that is very encouraging. How are your dc doing and how is your back pain?

oh that's great about your dd, I'm really happy for you both.

Well done on the diet front. Are you drinking enough? That can help with the tiredness...

My dd who has ASD decided to have a major haircut at the weekend (shoulder length to short pixie like) and altho she looks lovely it's been too much for her emotionally . Ds still has no use of his legs but his mood and appetite is ok and ge made it into school ok this morning which is great.

The whole Covid/Brexit situation is imo pretty depressing. I can't face another lockdown.

My back is gradually improving and i think the Sertraline must be helping as Im now getting a bit irtitated by both my osteo and acupuncturist

Thanks for the tip on drinking water and good to hear that your back is improving.

Glad to hear ds made it into school and is feeling positive in what must be a really challenging situation for him. Hope your dd has had time to recover from the haircut stress.

Tomorrow we are going out for lunch with my mum and my bro as it's my birthday. Last time we went out for lunch (5 weeks ago) we were the only people in the restaurant and it might be the same tomorrow! COVID is on the up in my area but I think going out will be a much needed well being boost.

Oooo hope you had a lovely lunch. One thing the current restrictions mean I appreciate things like that loads more.

OK day here. This evening wishing there were more mental health services, a friend of mine is in a really dark place tonight.

Yes so true that you appreciate stuff more, although also seeing people wear masks always makes me think what has our world come to. I've had some catch ups in person with my best friend and my family for my birthday and that always boosts my spirits hugely.

Hope your friend is feeling a bit better. Mental health services are so incredibly under funded.

It's a gorgeous sunny autumn day here. I'm on a fast day in week 3 of my diet and have lost 2.2kg. Aiming for 10kg. I need to nominate a new area for my decluttering mission and it might be books. There is loads of decluttering to do in my house as we are all more maximalist than minimalist but all progress feels good.

How's things with you colouringindoors?

Ah you sound good. Always good to catch up with friends. Well done on the diet front too!

I'm having a bleurh day. Can't get down to anything, can't relax. Can't quite work out what's changed. Have done nothing except make and eat food, get cash out of bank.
Need to:

• hang up washing
• return dd clothes
• send out dd birthday list.

Right. Get arse off sofa!

I know what you mean about not being able to get down to anything or to relax. Sometimes going outside helps me, sometimes just recognising that's it's ok to do bugger all sometimes and accepting it. Sometimes setting a ten minute timer to do something helps. And sometimes nothing helps.

I haven't done much apart from feel tempted to eat more than the 500 calories I'm allowed today. I've eaten all 500 already. I did help DH pack away the garden furniture into the shed - the shed which now has a new waterproof roof. Hurrah! Our house also needs a partial reroof but it looks like we'll be lucky to get that done by Xmas. We seem to have a lot of expensive maintenance work come up at the same time.

wow 500 is hard-core! Hang in there!
Well I got those things done (bar a trip to pist office) and a bonus extra load if washing.

I think a lot of my apathy/concentration is stress/mental health related. I was reading an article today about cptsd which i think i have some of, and there was a phrase "treading water in a sea of overwhelm" which sums me up totally. Ive not helped myself by looking at possible jobs/new careers as I need to be earning a decent salary in a few years time. It all feels waaaaaay too much. Even in my currentvrather crappy job I miss things and firget anythung I don't write down. I can forget I've written a to-do list if I don't leaveviy somewhere obvious! Then i saw a realky helpful tweet that said women with severe anxiety/ptsd have double the risk of ovarian cancer

and clearly i can't type either!

Feeling awful. So sick of being so up and down. It's been so long. I feel useless and hopeless. No future partner or decent job for me based on the last decade. Bored but unable to focus on anything. Don't know what to do with myself, can't relax or concentrate on even the tv. Just want to stop feeling anything.

can't see anything positive

Oh big congrats on getting through your tasks this afternoon.

Omg I know the feeling of overwhelm.
It's paralysing. My CBT therapist would probs advise writing stuff down to get it out of your brain, writing down your worries. That in itself often helps me.

500 calories is pretty hardcore but that's only on 2 days per week, on the other days I just eat as normal. I'm hoping I can sustain this long term and continue to lose gradually but not sure yet how it will pan out.

How is your sleep, does your back pain affect getting a solid 7 hour minimum of sleep?