can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Hi to monkey (you are Definitely Not useless and like you say writing down what you have done shows you its more than uou realise.
and delphinium. Hurrah for the card sending! Im the same, I'll put off and put off doing something and when i finally do it it takes like 5 mins...

Hello and welcome to Moscow, hope you have an ok day as possible.

I am not setting myself any goals today. Am allowing myself a rest day after a lot of travelling yesterday and a rather stressful week.

@colouringindoors I'm simultaneously appalled I do this but grateful I'm not alone. A friend of mine has always had a horribly messy/dirty home. She's a lovely, creative person and I always felt bad for her. She eventually saw a therapist who said her perfectionism blocks her - she laughed as she never would have thought she was a perfectionist- but the fear of not getting it right keeps her from doing anything.

Hi everyone,
how are you all doing? I have just evaporated in this heat. The house is not just untidy (which I don't like) but really dirty (which I hate). I feel completely overwhelmed. Don't know where to start. It's massively cluttered - DH is a bit of a hoarder - loads of sticky old cookery books we never use but he won't throw away, and stashes of out of date packets of seeds he never got round to planting etc cover every inch of the kitchen. And DTeens have taken to cooking oily brunches every single jeffing day. So now the kitchen tiles are coated with a faint film of sticky grease I can't scrub off. I hate it. I dream of walking off into a sparkling new build and taking only a suitcase of essentials with us but he'd never agree to that! . It's got to the 'can't have anyone over' stage.

Hi monkeymuch sympathy re mess. My bloody back means i can't clean and when dcs cook is a bigger mess.

Quiet round here these days. I ended up bringing myself an ds home early from hol. Bad still not good, So i feel both mentally and physically broken. Ex is well and upbeat. So I'm seriously depressed.

In this heat, I am in awe of anyone who achieves anything at all!

I've achieved precisely nothing this week bar a back massage which helped painwise on Monday and bloods done this morning, I don't have any energy and can't be bothered making food. I seem to spend a lot of time lying on the bed with the fan on just staring at the ceiling.

frogs

Personally i think its been too hot to do anything about from getting drinks.

Hi,
how is everyone?
I managed a very basic 5 minute tidy up of living room (but still needs hoovering and dusting) a work out, a cool bath, unload/reload dishwasher and wipe down of kitchen surfaces. That has taken all my energy. Promised DH I would tidy the kitchen properly but just want to lie on the bed and pant like a dog.

monkey that's loads! well done. Is it hot where you are? We had a massive thunderstorm last night so its a bit cooler today - 26. i moved a heavy chair without thinking and have made my back worse ' feel like Ive gone backwards about 3 weeks . This morning i was having vv dark thoughts ,

Hi @colouringindoors - Sorry about your back - so frustrating when you do something small without thinking and set your healing back a few steps. I did that with my foot this week. So annoyed with myself. Hope your dark thoughts lift soon. Do you have any physio exercises you can do to ease it at all? Or icepacks?

it's been really hot and muggy here. Finally had a really massive storm - thunder and lightning overhead so loud and strong I thought our roof was going to fall in. But didn't get any energy back. Everything after midday was just mooching on the computer or eating! I did a tiny bit of work for my DBro but have been lying on the bed all afternoon, nursing a sore foot. Feel a bit pathetic.

@colouringindoors I hope your back is better...I'm checking in late

@monkeyonthetable thanks for keeping the thread moving.

This week I've had good and bad days...so pretty equal which is better than last month.

I'm freaking out today and having panic attacks, I was outside putting stuff in the bins and saw my neighbour outside his house (it backs direct onto mine), I didn't know he was back or even if he is meant to be there as for months it wasn't considered an "appropriate address" by the courts as he was on remand for assaulting me earlier this year. I know prisons are releasing people due to covid19 but a heads up would have been good. Any suggestions for trying to calm down, my Blood pressure is soaring with the panic. Shit shit

@NotanotherboxofFrogs I'm so sorry! Do you have a friend or relative guy can call (I know COVID complicates this) who can come over and be with you?

Sorry for the radio silence from here. I've just not felt upto it. I'm sorry, everyone who's struggling!

I've gone back to seeing my therapist in person, and honestly not sure how I feel about it now. It suddenly almost feels more awkward than the phone calls - and she's someone I've been seeing for more than six years, so nothing new about her! My bulimia's started fighting back on my attempts to suppress it, I'm still self-harming quite a bit, and it seems like everyone - including me - is out of ideas on what to throw at this general "bad period". I'm not due to talk to the GP for a few more weeks now, and there's been no change to meds, and last we spoke she was of the opinion that the meds aren't the answer, anyway. I think adding up all the therapy, I'm on my 12th year now, so I doubt just more therapy is the answer, either. I guess this is just one of those things one needs drugde onwards with, whether it gets better or not. It's all feeling a bit hopeless right now, though.

Aaanyway. In the spirit of the thread, today I have:

• baked a cake for a special occasion this weekend
• gone for a long walk
• done some handwashing-only laundry
• dealt with some kitchen tidying

to all struggling.

i am Sooooo bloated i think i might explode i think codeine for back plus insane heat = disaster

send help!

can u overdose on laxatives?

can u overdose on laxatives?

Ah, well yes, in a way. I got into overusing them waaaaay too much, including some stupid amounts some days, earlier in the year. Now I kind of can't poop at all without them, no matter how much Fybogel, flaxseeds and prunes I get through. My bowels have just got used to them. From past experience I know it takes a prolongued period of hellish bloatedness and constipation to get through the "addiction", so I don't recommend!

havent taken that much i don't think. Sending sympathies.

i movicol a day for 5 weeks cos of codeine , but dont think Ive remebered every day. Plus heat ....

A movicol a day sounds perfectly reasonable - even if it's for five weeks, if you need it. Five movicols a day, and it'll become a problem...

I'm taking a day off from anything useful at all today, as we've been out for someone's special occasion thing, and I'm well into wine by now. I'm not even counting my calories today, which is a first in a long time. I can worry about it all tomorrow!

thanks Insane.

Good for about not counting. Hope you have a chilled evening.

i don't need to worry about laxatives any more as this afternoon developed the runs! (FFS)

I've been having one panic attack after another, then adrenaline dumps. I finally passed out in to sleep this afternoon which has helped my BP.

One friend did offer to come straight over stay last night, I said no as then I would be feeling worse tonight for it on my own but he said he would have the phone beside him all night and so would his wife and daughter and if I needed any of them just ring as they only live 4 doors away so would be here very quickly.

My security on the house is tight so I know I'm ok that way and so it's flagged up if I need to call 999 for police as a priority.

It just freaked me totally out, I shut down verbally for a while after it happened and I think I am heading the same way again. Ffs.

I've kept the kittens fed, watered and trays scooped and that has been my wins for today. Hopefully Sunday will be better and if not maybe Monday. It's actually my birthday on Monday.

frogs those panic attacks sound awful. Hop you get some sleep x

@NotanotherboxofFrogs glad you are safe - and fear can really demotivate anyone.

So sorry you're having to deal with that frogs - what a nightmare! I hope everything stayes calm and you stay safe. And Happy Birthday for tomorrow - may the day be one of the good ones!

I really enjoyed my day off from all things tracking and trying yesterday. It's good to be back to trying today, though, even if there's still been leftover cake, and I've been nursing a bit of a hangover and a dodgy stomach. Three things I've done today:

• A very basic weekly clean up, including laundry.
• A medium-length walk with DH.
• Opened several letters from various banks that had been sitting unopened, giving me accusing looks, for way too long. They weren't as scary as I'd imagined them to be.

Tomorrow's goals:

• Do a weights routine and some stretching.
• Renew meds (hardly a bit task, but must remember).
• Tidy up the kitchen counters.

Happy Birthday 💐💐💐

Hope you're doing OK today frogs thinking of you.

Well done insane hope todays going well.

Ive just had a shower and washed my hair. That is all i am planning on doing today.

Yesterday i sent an email to my GP explaining how awful the last 8 weeks have been with back, and recent severe diarrhoea and hiw i dont know if it was a bug, or a reaction to the Naproxen Ive been taking and all the other stressesthat were going on re kids and need to work and how i needed to be recovering after 8 weeks.

Despite my assurances in the email that no criticism whatsover was implied, theyre a great surgey, but Ive found only brief phone calls re all this v hard, she clearly took offence

"What is it that you want me to do that I'm not already doing then!" she said totally pissed off.

And i had actually been feeling good as my dear bro sent me a lively get well soon gift in the post and i cant get that feeling back