can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

How are you today colouringindoors?

Dinner was a new recipe and tasty although also quite an unhealthy and heavy meal, from an American recipe site and probs 1 mill calories and no veg at all! I think I need to work on improving my diet to help myself feel better. I'm cooking tonight so it will be a healthier meal.

I had my second early night in a row which strangely has not been working well as I am then wide awake at 11:30 and 2:30 and 4:30 and 6am. Maybe the same bedtime is better than an early night!

Weather here is glorious again but I feel a bit fed up with myself and unmotivated.

Hi snog well done for cooking from scratch. Sounds tasty! Hmmm all that waking up sounds no fun...

Sorry to hear you're feeling bleurh. Are you able to drag yourself out? Ive popped out to pick up glasses and a take away coffee. Was feeling ok mentally this morning, got quite a lot of admin done, finally caught up. But then had email from ds school re poss formal home tuition as he's missing so much. And while it's not a bad thing, it's another thing and another very real sign that things with my ds are really shit. So my mood has totally crashed which is annoying.

Evenings are def not my best time. Hope your afternoon was OK.

Hey colouringindoors sounds like you had a productive day. I understand how problems your child is having can kill your mood, it definitely works that way for me too. It's good that there is some help in the pipeline for your DS, it's such a tough time for young people. My dd is definitely struggling.

I cooked a family fave meal this evening which we all really enjoyed and it was a healthy one too. Also managed to go for a walk this afternoon on my own and without using headphones and an audiobook. And it only seemed to take the usual length of time 😆.

My mood definitely picked up after the morning and this evening I watched a film cuddled up on the sofa with dd.

I don't really feel like setting myself a target of three things for tomorrow, I might declare it a target free day and just do whatever I feel like doing. Who knows I may even make a start on my long awaited collage 😝.

Hi snog tbh I've guven up on the targets too but am trying to note what I have achieved.

Well done on the healthy cooking I dud too for me and dd.

Walk sound lovely too. I walked along high street at slow pace (recovering from really bad slipped disc) and popped into cage for takeaway coffee and cake which was nice.

Wine again now. I know it's not clever. But there we are.

What are you plannjng to do for your collage? I'm supposed to be doing an online design course i signed up for in April... hmmm.

So, I achieved:

1. Lots of admin inc stuff that had been on list for months
2. Started dialogue with school re ds and reached out to other parents of kids with FND
3. cooked proper food for me and dd

@snog how was your day? I have set up counselling and tutor for dd in yr 11 so am really hoping that will set her up well for her yr 11. Oh and I had a dentist appt this morning (lovely dentist I've seen for years). Back on sofa with wine again

@colouringindoors slipped disc sounds very painful, is it on the mend?

Sounds like you did some really great stuff today supporting dd and going to the dentist in Covid times is impressive.
I hadn't heard of FND before but from googling it it seems like perhaps support from the NHS may not be great and I hope that connecting with other parents is a good source of support.

I have felt shattered today and mainly sat on the sofa watching films and had an amoretto and coke (just to keep you company of course).

No walking for me today and no collage either although I did watch some art videos on YouTube. I'm part way through a really good Gabor Mate YouTube but that seemed too hard work to watch today and I watched ten mins of Russell brand instead.

My best achievement today was being a sounding board for developing ideas for my friends fledgling campaigning group about sustainable chocolate production. Second best achievement was to recognise that taking things slowly is ok for me if I feel shattered and not feeling bad about it. Maybe it's the change of seasons that affects me.

Tomorrow I'm planning on making a big batch of chilli with loads of veg and beans in it as a health booster.

Thanks so much for posting "@snog". And keeping me company. I'm drinking too much at the moment as a result of a load of rubbish stuff in my family.

Sometimes you have to have a rest day. Esp when, ime, the sun goes in. And two good achievements despite that.

I've seen some Gabor Mate stuff. Its goid. But it is full on. Not sure about Russell Brand though . Big batch cook is a good plan.

I have osteo appt tomorrow.

Yes slipped disc has been awful. Happened beginning of July. Was horrendously painful. Got prescribed drug dealer amounts of pain killers... still not been seen by any NHS doc. It's a lot better now, seeing private osteo and acupuncturist which def helps but £££. I feel it's the trauma of the last 8 years coming out in my body.... but that's a whole other thread....

night.

Hi @colouringindoors , hope you had a good day.

The Gabor Mate youtube I was watching is all about how repressed emotions in time result in chronic illnesses, the idea of the body keeping score. He talks about the bad effects of either repressing anger or expressing it inappropriately. I haven't got tot the bit where he talks about how to express anger appropriately which will be interesting.

I did my batch cook of yummy and super healthy chilli today and also had a contractor over to quote for some maintenance work on the house plus a walk. So all good stuff. I did have an ocular migraine this afternoon but half an hour in bed sorted it out.

This evening I had a couple of glasses of wine and binged on a catch up of the new SD eastenders 😆. How are things with you?

Hi snog
That Gabor Mate extract sounds bang on. Both me and my son have ptsd. He now has a functional disorder and my therapist is sure my severe spinal injury is partly trauma related. Its hard to express anger! I've smashed some crockery (which was v therapeutic!) but not much else.

Well done on the cooking. I did, despite feeling v tired, cook for me and dcs but am back on the wine.

Had good appt with osteopath, sweet man who's been v supportive and encouraging but really wiped me out.
Set up dd with counsellor (yr 11, ASD, anxiety, body issues, identity issues) putting a lot of trust in this person, but have no choice, can't deal with it all myself with everything else that's going on.

I've started watching Des! Light relief! Fascinating though.

Hi snog hope you're ok

Hi @colouringindoors I'm good thanks, how's things going with you?

I've just been watching Taskmaster with Greg Davies which I find hilarious so it has put me in a good mood - that and seeing pics of my SIL's dog's brand new puppies! They are super cute havanese pure breds, I would love one but my DP is unconvinced. I lost my dcat in March and have been pining for a pet ever since.

I still haven't found out from Gabor how to process anger in a healthy way but I did see Rage Rooms advertised pre COVID where you pay to go in and smash everything in the room!

Eating well is a cornerstone I think, both of us seem to be making good strides on that. It's great self care. Dd made salmon in soy and ginger sauce today - it was yummy.

I know what you mean about trusting a counsellor to help your child. It's a bit of a leap of faith, yet good to recognise that you can't do everything yourself and to find help. We will never be perfect parents and if we were it would only set our own kids up to fail to met unrealistic standards.

I tried to watch Des as I am a David Tennant fan but it wasn't for me. I recommend you try Taskmaster if Des gets too much!

I am cheering you on.

Really enjoyed reading yr post. Sorry for crap reply. Having a shit couple of days. Got hold of Radiographers reports for my 2 MRIs and it's not pretty reading.

Sorry to hear your MRI reports weren't so good @colouringindoors, that's sounds like a blow. Sometimes it's good to just allow yourself some time to process what is happening and you seem to have a whole lot on your plate right now

Sounds like you are looking beyond puRely NHS treatments in terms of alternative health provision and lifestyle which I'm sure will help to achieve improvement for you.

I've felt shattered over the last few days. today though managed a short walk and short visit to see my friend and her teenage ds for his birthday. He was having a camp out so I sat by the campfire for a while - although I'm too soft to be a camping enthusiast I feel sitting by a campfire is good for the soul.

I hope you can tune into what it is that you need today and give it to yourself.

Thanks snog feeling wiped out today so am allowing myself a lazy day - watching ER this afternoon!

Hope you're feeling a bit less shattered today. I do like a campfire/bonfire too and nice you made it out to see a friend. I think that's the thing I miss most due to Covid + back + ds.

I am going to really try and go wine free this week. I had been drinking only at the weekends for a while, but had a friend round one Wednesday week before last and it's all gone pear-shaped since. As much as I enjoy it, my acupuncturist has told me it's bad for my back as it increases inflammation. I know it's not great for my mental health after a while. I've used alcohol to numb very painful emotions.

So there we are.

Friends really boost my spirits.
I'm pondering doing Sober October but not sure yet 😆 and about to make myself a G&T. I too use alcohol to escape my feelings sometimes, would be good to change that and I often give up periodically for a few months but then I don't really have an alternative way to deal with emotions so end up eventually going back to the wine again.

This popped up on my Instagram feed, apparently the culprit is capitalism, who knew?

who knew! i agree with the comments though!

I'm not doing Sober October. Im already craving a g and t 🙄

Well you've got until Wednesday night to finish your G&T 😝

I'm on the tonic part...

Haha!

How's things today @colouringindoors?

I've had a productive morning seeing potential contractors for some essential house repairs and maintenance again, putting away a grocery delivery and I also went for a walk to the local shops for some missing groceries. And had a chat to a pal.

Now sunbathing in a patch of sunlight on the sofa, which feels great.
My mood and energy are definitely better so I'm celebrating that.

Good effort on your morning!
Sunny sofa sounds lovely, glad you're having a good day.

I did a load of sorting out in my new utility room which I can now walk through. I had building work done and am still tying up the ends... Also had therapy. Worn out. Now sitting in armchair by big window watching ER again.

Hi all, I'm really struggling mentally and physically at the moment so dropped off posting.

I have been reading to kinda catch up a bit, Gabor Mate has a book When the body says no. Its currently down to 1.99 On kindle so cheaper than normal kindle price. It might be a good time to buy when appropriately £10 off usual kindle cost.

Hi @NotanotherboxofFrogs, welcome back, what did you think of the book? I'm part way through a YouTube video of his.

hi frogs really sorry to hear you're having such a tough time