can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Deliver not delivery

and ds has had a full on fnd freeze so only has use of one arm. And we're supposed to be going on holiday tomorrow.

This is beyond Fucking unfair!!!!!

Waiting for a work call so popped on. I'm sorry everyone is struggling. It really is hard.
My list today is simple
Don't rise to my teen.
Make a couple of candles for testing.
Enjoy some sun.

Welp, only managed a so-and-so job on the ED program so far today, but at least the effort is there. Just my time management that's been lacking. Also haven't got round to messaging friends yet. I'm weirdly averse to social contacts right now, even though I know I'd feel much better for them. Plus side, been outside. Lovely, sunny day. A bit too hot for the long walk I went for (in black jeans ), but it was nice all the same.

I'm sorry everyone's struggling, too. I hope you found some nice cards, Workin, and that your ds feels a bit better today, colouring. I like the idea of making candles, Idonthear - hope that went well and the results are pleasing.

Frogs - Sorry to hear you're struggling with binging. I've had bulimia since I was 14, and despite trying every self-help book and every stupid approach, and talking about it in therapy til I'm bored and then some, I've not really found a good solution. (I have too many other problems with my mental health for the ED services to take me on.) I know a lot of people get on well with the Brain Over Binge book (by Hansen) and approach. It wasn't for me personally, but who knows what ends up being a tiny bit helpful to whom? I think my "favourite" approach/book is Overcoming Binge Eating by Fairburn, which is what the current thing my therapist has me following is kind of based on.

How's everyone? It's gone a bit quiet in here. Yesterday I did actually sit in the sun. With a book, it was only a Disney Dark Tales but I was able to concentrate on it. Week of new ads, fingers crossed they help. Didn't make candles, didn't feel alert enough. Today I've ticked 2 things. Cleaned cat litter trays and made oatcakes. I could sleep tho.
I hope everyone isn't being too hard on themselves.

@InsaneProbably i will have a look at that book, I'm restricting today. It's a constant cycle from one side to the other but binge is the main cycle.

@colouringindoors I hope that your sons fnd freeze starts to pass asap, I find that deep pressure massage helps to connect my brain and body faster than without it, but that's just my experience.
Hope you do manage to get away for a few days if it might be helpful for you, although I know the source of your problems will be with you and could potentially make things worse for you.

@Workinprogress30 did you get the cards sorted out? I had one for posting which went off on Friday. It had only been sitting waiting to go out for 10 days.

@Idonthearawordtheyresaying, fingers and toes crossed for the new ADs, which are you trying? I'm on cymbalta in the morning and mirtizapine at night. Glad you were able to enjoy the book for a while.

I had a better day on Friday, the vertigo was a lot better, the pain in my side went down to a tolerable level, sciatica has passed so I took all my recent feelings out on the house, so washing, drying and actually putting away is all up to date, dishes too, floors are done which had been ages, bed changed, windows washed, 4 boxes of stuff from my room of doom sorted out, kittens worked and flea treated and a ton more, I was soaked in sweat but it was good, a lot of pain that night, helped by tiger balm.

I'm going to get a Chinese this evening and relax with the telly.

frogs thanks for that info, do you mean like a firm massage? In so gutted for him he can't any normal holiday things

sending love to all

Has anyone tried the Freedom app? I think I need to block social media sites while I work.

Glad you had a better Friday, Frogs. The Fairburn book is aimed at both people with BED and those with bulimia (or just binge eating issues without a formal diagnosis), and very much focuses on trying to break that cycle. It's written so it could be used as self-help, or together with a therapist. I'm finding it hard to let go of the focus on dieting myself, so for now my therapist just wants me to focus on a good food routine and not purging.

Yesterday was okay for me. I had very modest goals of going out for a walk with DH, sticking to my mealtimes, and doing some physio. Managed all of that. Also managed to relax with some nice things. DH encouraged me to make an order of some bath goodies and chocolate for our soon-to-be anniversary, which was nice, and something small to look forward to.

Today needs to be a housework day, I'm afraid. I need to:

• Do laundry and sort out clean laundry.
• Tidy the kitchen.
• Clean the bathroom, including bath/shower (ew, mildew).
• Sort out the recycling.

Ambitiously also planning to use the crosstrainer for a bit, and to try to stick to mealtimes and the ED plan. Might have a drink later, though...

Yes to a firm deep massage pressure as it helps to ground me which helps brain and body to reconnect faster than without. - I did write a detailed reply to this which hasn't posted)

I use waste no time, as can limit how long on any site and see an overall of what sites I spend my time on, can also keep out of sites during set hours or instant lock down so I'm not tempted to buy stuff

Hoping for a good start to the week. Wish me luck.

Monday plan is: washing, putting away, cooking, hopefully baking and general cleaning

Sounds like a plan, Frogs, good luck! Good luck to everyone else for the new week, too.

I got all my stuff done yesterday, and did indeed end up having several glasses of rum & coke, too.

Not a lot to do today, really. I've been up for hours (always an early bird), and have already managed to answer some messages and do a weights routine. Feeling ok-ish so far.
I have pretty boring goals for the rest of the day:

• Write a shopping list with some vague meal plan in mind.
• Go to Tesco
• Detour for a walk on the way to Tesco.
• Stick to the ED program.

@InsaneProbably nice work on the weight lifting. I tried some 15 min yoga and it helped this morning. Today:

Open mail(it's 2 weeks worth and I feel awful)
Load laundry
Mail letter

Hi All

Is it ok if I join you ? I’m struggling too at the moment - seems like the last few months are catching up on me mentally and I’m finding it hard to get motivated.

Bit about me - I’m late forties, my marriage broke down 3 years ago and I live with my two sons (18 and 14).

First few weeks of lockdown I coped well - I can work from home so am very lucky that my income has not been affected. Felt like I had it under control.

However just lately I’m struggling a bit with motivation. I wake up each day unsure what day it is (have to remind myself if it’s a work day or not). Have to force myself to take my dog out for a walk and then get back into the daily routine of working in my little study and trying to keep positive.

I guess on the surface I seem to have things under control - house is reasonably tidy, keep on top of washing etc but I just feel so flat. Have had issues with anxiety and depression for many years and am on sertraline 50mg a day (stopped them last year but really found it hard to cope so have gone back on them).

I’m not really sure what I want to achieve by messaging as I know I have a lot to be grateful for and probably should just give myself a kick up the backside and just get on with things !

But thank you for listening and hope you are all doing ok.

x

@Moocow72 Hello!! I joined late...i felt such a connection with everything that posters were saying so it felt good just to know I wasn't losing my mind. I've struggled too with my work - I'm also WFH and should feel grateful because I'm in an industry that is actually overworked due to the pandemic...but I just want to crawl into my bed and never get out. And I should have more time because I'm not on a commute and my kids' activities are almost nil. But I can't get it done.

Just dropping by to hi to everyone and srnding best wishes. My son's FND is v bad now - no speech this morning - which is heartbreaking

Massive virtual hugs to you and your son , that's really hard for both of you. @colouringindoors do you have a communication system for this happening?

@Delphinium20, @Moocow72 welcome to the gang.

Today my wins are - shower and dressed (bra not possible today, I am so sore after yesterday wearing) so will self care for that.

I've been making a list of all the small things (parts of a task) just so I can tick it off

Need new bras, sports type no wire, extra large, supportive but not tight and preferably with a racer type back as it gives me slightly better support due to my neck - any suggestions?

I'm not feeling good in general, just want to go back to bed and cry into my teddy and/or kitten.

thanks frogs. we manage with a lot of made up sign language. sometimes he can mouth words. otherwise he types on his phone....
Shower dressed and making a list is great. esp if its anywhere near as hot as it is here. (soooo sweaty!) No idea re sports bras sorry!!

its ok to take some time to cry and cuddle. Give yourself an hour. then get up and get a drink and try and distract yourself x

We are now waiting for flight home. vvv nervous about flying with covid but no choice. French are vv organised, far better than in UK. Def felt safer here!

Hi,
please can I rejoin you all? Having a rubbish time at the moment. Just feeling fat and useless and unable to do anything. Had a 2 hour zoom work presentation this am and then did nothing at all all day except hide in a shady room away from the heat and play computer games.

At 4.30 I managed to do about 1 hour of an online course I'm studying and after dinner (cooked by DH and cleared up by DC) I did about 20 mins watering the garden. Did a washload too and managed a bath.

Written down that seems OK but I spent most of the day fighting back tears and anxiety. @NotanotherboxofFrogs - sorry you are feeling tearful too. It's shitty, isn't it?

Hello to @Moocow72. This is a very gentle thread. If you can't get through the day, we understand. You might get nudged towards a bit of self care and an attempt to do three tiny things each day but no pressure.

Hi to @Delphinium20 too. It's too hot even to crawl under the duvet when we want to! It's hard to motivate yourself WFH all the time, isn't it?

Frogs I've found some good sports bras at M&S. This one is really good - not too tight, racer back and OK support even for the well-upholstered.

@monkeyonthetable

Hi to *@Delphinium20* too. It's too hot even to crawl under the duvet when we want to! It's hard to motivate yourself WFH all the time, isn't it?

Thanks @monkeyonthetable !

@colouringindoors - so sorry your son's FND is bad today. That must be stressful for you both.

I know this seems small, but sometimes the most important things are impossible for me to do - simple things that are meaningful to others. I have this horrible feeling like I'll get it wrong and disappoint them.

For almost a week, I have needed to send a sympathy card for a co-worker who lost his baby - the worst thing that can ever happen to a person. I agonized over the wording (so embarrassing because this is purely about them, but i can't seem to write a simple string of words on loss so then I think about myself and how pathetic i am). It was getting bad cause I kept putting it off.

But then, I did it! I wrote it (used pencil so a mistake could be erased) and got it in the post!!!!

My laundry is still undone, but dammit, I sent the card!

@Delphinium20 I completely get that inability to do small things and the massive anxiety they trigger. Buying birthday presents and get well cards - the huge fear of getting it wrong. These days I try to do things really quickly with very little thought so there's less chance of getting bogged down. But years ago I bought and couldn't write a sympathy card to a close friend when her dad died. I just couldn't find the right words and then it was too late. Our friendship never recovered.

So massive WELL DONE to you for sending that card.