can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Yes Frogs, I have c-ptsd and found the book informative and useful.

Muddling on the best I can here. Pretty good day yesterday. Did some baking and managed yoga and a long walk.

Therapy day today. My therapist is back to working in the office and doing face-to-face sessions, and I thought I'd be eager to go back to that, but seem to be too anxious about all the public transport I'd need to get. Not sure how much of it is virus anxiety, and how much just general anxiety. Either way, I'm still just doing phone sessions with her.

Other than that, I'll need to get my weekly meds, and need to do a top up shop. I still haven't managed to call the bank, but doubt I'll manage that today, either.

Interesting (for want of a better word) that myself, frogs and insane are all suffering with c-ptsd. So sorry, its a horrible condition born out of the stuff of nightmares.

Well done insane on baking, yoga and walk 😊. Hope your therapist session is helpful. I've just had mine. We've all got family therapy later and are then going round to a good friend's so that will be nice.

thinking of you all today

I hope family therapy and visit with your friend went well, colouring. My therapy was a bit so-so. I just found myself annoyinly sullen and unable to think of anything reasonable to talk about, and we ended the call a bit early. Oh well.

I was supposed to have a rest day today, as my foot and hip have been sore again, but went for an hour's walk anyway, out of sheer boredom. Still haven't called the bank. But I have started a new crochet project, and I've done my physio. Need to empty and re-fill the dishwasher and cook some dinner later, but no other plans, really. Waiting for DH to finish work (wfh, from our couch) so I can put on some telly I've recorded and crochet more.

I have a long list of things I need to do but they are having to wait,

Aside from the sciatica, left ovary pain which feels like something twisting, vertigo has decided to join in the party.

I cried all over the support worker this morning, she is going to speak to her manager about pushing for proper mh support for me, she isn't mh trained (her fields are physical dis and tbi).

Kittens are being extra cuddly with me today 😀

I made a lovely Caesar salad yesterday evening, ate it all in one go, was absolutely gorgeous.

Hopefully Saturday will be a better day. Onwards and upwards

all.

my mood has gone through the floor

Hi everyone, do you mind if I jump in your lively thread? I’m going through a really awful time and finding it very difficult to get through the days.
I have a dd aged 2.9 and a lovely dp.
Something recently triggered what I think might be cPTSD. Those of you that have it - did you get a diagnosis? I spoke to a MH worker who said it is really tricky to get one, but I tick all the boxes. It is a really horrible thing to work through. I am feeling very scared and alone, so any words of encouragement are much appreciated x

Hi workinprogress sorry to hear you're having a tough time too. my therapist although she doesn't like labels says I have cptsd and my gp has recently said I have some ptsd. I've recently found a therapist with a lot of experience in the field of trauma. I've found adult mental health services worse than useless to be honest. You are not alone. Several of us struggle with ptsd. my sympathies.

I have been diagnosed with various things over the years but I got a chance to do Inpatient rehabilitation with psychological / physical / social focus and as the lead Dr was a psychiatrist, I asked him to reassess the whole diagnosis that the home psychiatrist gave me which I disagreed with and if they came to the same conclusion, then I would accept it, so after almost 6 months, they diagnosed C-ptsd which causes my FND. It was not the diagnosis I had previously been given and time was taken to come to that conclusion, which I am happy with. I had EMDR while I was there as part of the rehabilitation.

Thank you both. I just wondered as I am the very start if this journey. I have found an EMDR practitioner but not ready to take the plunge with that just yet

No me either!

How has everyone been today?

Quiet day here, currently crying about feelings from another thread

Lots of kitten love

did you get a diagnosis?

I don't have a C-PTSD diagnosis, no, but I've not had an assessment by a psychiatrist since my mid-20s (in my 40s now). I have a host of other diagnoses, including BPD, but most of the therapists and what have you who I've worked with have taken the stance that it's the complex trauma that's the root of my issues.

Hi. Please can I join? I've read the first page and I feel like you're describing me and my life. I need the help and motivation. I've just come back to mumsnet after 4 years for exactly the help on this thread.

Feel very flat. Lost my fight today. Spend most of the day in bed whilst do has been shopping and taken dd swimming. Feel so useless, helpless and alone

Welcome Idonthearaword and Workinprogress.

I'm also feeling very flat today. My three things were to sort out more laundry, go to Boots, and do some exercise. Done all of those, with no sense of any achievement. I had sort of had half-plans to meet some people, but ended up cancelling that last night, as just felt so awful and so tired. Relieved today that I did, even it would have meant a day off from this Groundhog Day.

hi idonthear you're very welcome. Many of us seem to be in this position, and its rubbish.
hi frogs hold on to that kitten love x
waves to insane too.

Still feeling really low. ex and kid's delight in his house buying is not helping.

Just found this thread. OP wrote my feelings perfectly. I keep wondering why I've become such a slug when I actually have MORE time than before COVID.

Why does this happen?

hi delphinium welcome! thats a really good question. For me Covid shutdown has demolished structures of my week. Meant that my weekly yoga and swimming has gone which has contributed to my slipped disc. My mood is lower as a result of shit in the past but also less socialising and no hugs.

So when people able theyve been posting 3 things to aim to do.

I ended up overbooking this pm so have had cleaners in, haircut, done load of washing and sains shopping due any mo. Its been a bit too much but its nearly done...

@colouringindoors thank you!!! This might be the therapy I need.

My three:

Finish up an edit for a friend
Load Laundry
Clean sheets on bed

ooooo love clean sheets

Morning everyone, and good luck for today. Welcome Delphinium.

I've had a decent sleep last night, and feel okay-ish this morning. Lots of kitty cuddles for me, too. My three things for today:

• Sort out all the meds. I have a messy meds situation going on. I need to dispose of the stuff that's expired or no longer something I need. And I need to know what all I actually have lying around.
• Go for a walk. I think it's supposed to be a bit more dry out today.
• Batch cook some butternut squash soup.

Also have a weekly support call today, but that's not really a chore.

Morning all
Thank you for the welcome.
My list for today is also change my bedding, I want to clear my hall - I'm kind of cheating and having that as 2 and 3 because of sorting and putting away. It's been a guddle for a fortnight, probably more.