can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Hi Lettera and welcome,

It's lovely that the thread is still running. I'm not around so much right now because I'm having a good spell and don't think it's in the spirit of a thread where people are struggling to come on and say, 'I did loads and feel fine.' It's for people who need a nudge to shower and mop the floor.

@colouringindoors - well done on the music playlist. And I agree with Lettera that's a massive achievement. I get paralysed by anxiety over things like that. It sounds like a lovely thing to do for them and for you.

@runningpink - good luck back at work. Hope it all goes well.

Hi running and monkey and thanks for the welcome!

running - hope your return to work goes smoothly.

monkey - delighted you're having a good spell and I agree that it might not appear in the spirit to post regularly about how things are going well. Nonetheless it's encouraging to hear of others' successes!

Feeling very lethargic today and definitely slept too long. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it!

My 3 things:

Pot two geraniums (this task has been hanging around for months and is making me feel like very guilty)
Make a big salad with feta for tea (that's dinner to some of you!)
Collect hoover from my daughter's to hoover over the weekend (I gave her mine because it's heavy and I'm fed up with it but haven't got round to replacing it and everything is coated in a blanket of cat hair).

Good wishes to all!

I need to do a tidy around in the morning as have family coming tomorrow, first time to see them in months so looking forward to that.

I've spent a few days in bed, migraine / fnd and vertigo flattened me. 🙄

Hang on in there everyone, welcome to the newbies,

Work was good as a distraction and for giving me a purpose to my day.

I need to go to the supermarket today but having real issues over masks both the wearing and seeing people wearing them. (I am in Scotland so compulsory here. I’m in such a panic about it.

Also meant to be meeting a friend for dinner but again having issue due to masks.

If I can manage both these tings that would be a massive achievement for today.

Hope your feeling a bit better now frogs and that you have a nice time with family.

Did you manage to complete your jobs lettera?

@runningpink - I get the mask thing. It's creepy and then if you start to feel anxious, it gets so hard to breathe. You can put a bit of Vicks or Mentholatum or Olbas oil on the outside of your mask so that it doesn't burn your skin but helps you breathe more freely and deeply. Try taking it off as soon as you leave a shop (if that's allowed in Scotland.) I keep forgetting to take it off and then realising I can.

I've not been very productive at all. My voices are back to screaming at me, I've hurt myself pretty badly, and my GP's put me on weekly prescriptions, as she thinks I'm an OD risk (she's right). Oh well. The house has mostly been maintained, and we continue to have clean clothes and food (even if today it is by Domino's).

No ambitions for the rest of tonight, but tomorrow I really need to change and wash the cat's litter tray and our sheets again. And do some exercise and not eat this much pizza. Ugh.

Didn't repot geraniums or collect hoover but didn't wail or beat my breast over it! I felt very tired yesterday so was satisfied that I did some washing, emptied the dishwasher (shortly after it finished instead of days after) and made a fabulous salad (had a friend over for tea in my so-called garden - that's another of my disaster areas that needs attention).

Just one goal today which I've managed so far: to eat well and under a certain number of calories (oh yes, I'm very fat too!)

Strength to all.

@InsaneProbably I'm on weekly scripts too. Have been since 2012, I had 5 years where the one local chemist refused to dispense to me, it's better than it was 20 years ago for me as at that point I was on twice a day pick up, that was a major pita.

Haven't dragged myself out of bed yet as only woke up about 20 minutes ago. Had a lovely visit from brother, niece and nephew,

ok need to put a wash on, quick shower first and then I am going to lie on the sofa and see what next, need to cancel some payments as have sorted alternatives which will save me £30+ a month.

Well i have slept almost all day. Went to my mum and dads golden wedding anniversary party lovely yesterday and glad I did. But soooooo exhausted today was up for an hour or so at 9, then maybe hour and half at 1. Then lay down again as still feeling totally wiped out and woke up 20 mins ago. Hope I sleep tonight! Tomorrow I have MRI and first ever acupuncture treatment which will be interesting! praying it helps. diazepam has def reduced the pain but I've not many left and they prob won't give me another box

@NotanotherboxofFrogs - Wow, twice a day ones sound like a nightmare, even if you're near the pharmacy. The worst I've ever had are the weekly ones (although technically used to get three days' worth of PRN at a time, but I didn't use it much), and only usually at low points. My pharmacy is close by, thankfully, and all the staff are great, so I don't mind.

@colouringindoors Glad you managed to enjoy a party. Good luck for tomorrow!

@Lettera Welcome, and well done on the healthy eating front.

I've had a better day today. I've out for a walk with husband, and got all the main weekly cleaning jobs done. I've also managed to relax a bit with some TV, a podcast and other such things, and have ordered more yarn for crafting. Exhausted now, and starting to struggle. Distraction attempts for now, bed hopefully in a bit.

I've been trying to keep awake all night as I want to be exhausted for doing a sleep study on Monday night, then I drop the equipment back on Tuesday morning and go get my eyes tested, I'm way overdue new specs and dependant on energy levels after all that maybe a bit of shopping too.

Had a lovely visit from family, really enjoyed the time with them

I hope the study goes well Frogs! Glad you managed to enjoy some time with your family.

I'm due to meet some people today, too. Not close friends or family, and I'm feeling quite nervous about it. Tempted to cancel, but I'll do my best not to. Also need to go get DH's meds today, and I'm planning to detour enough to get my daily steps in, too. Those can be my three daily things.

Hi everyone,
Hope you are all doing OK. Well having said I was doing fine and staying away as I didn't want to sound all smug, I gave myself three jobs on saturday and have just managed to finish the second one right now. The hoovering still isn't done and the floors are all gritty. Just haven't the energy.

But at least I:

did a workout
had a bath and washed my hair
sorted out some paperwork that was overdue by a few weeks
did a towel wash and hung them out to dry.

Will attempt the hoovering this afternoon and three hours paid work. That's all I have planned for today.

thanks insane MRI done, now off to acupuncturist. Got out in the garden in the sun with dd and ice lollies for 10 mins which was lovely.

monkey well done you've got loads done!

frogs really glad you had a nice family visit.

I hope the acupuncture helps, colouring. I've only had it once, and loved it, but I wasn't in pain really to start with, so it was more relaxing than anything.

Sounds like you're getting stuff done monkey, regardless of what day it gets done, so well done.

I got the pharmacy done, got all my steps done, and didn't cancel the meet-up. Very glad I went, too! So nice to see some familiar faces (apart from just DH) and have some general face-to-face chat to catch up with people. It's been another fairly good day.

Tomorrow I'll need to deal with the bank (sigh), get to Tesco, do some exercise and cook a lasagne.

oh well done insane!

Acupuncture was fine. bit strange, but like you say quite relaxing. She was lovely. Very kind and sympathetic. I felt well cared for which is something I almost never feel Even just simple things like helping me put my trousers on made me well up a bit. So Im back twice next week. GP should get report tomorrow. Talking through all my history with her just reminds me how hirrendous the last 8 years have been. My mental health is now very fragile, and am currently depressed. And now all the stress is coming out in my body.

I'm glad you found it relaxing. I don't know if you've heard of or looked at a book called The Body Keeps The Score (by Bessel van der Kolk). I found it quite a good one for the whole mess that is trauma and various pains and other body issues.

oh yes I'm a big fan of "The body keeps the score".

my ex has shown a couple of signs of hypermania /beginnings of. He has Bipolar.
I dontvknow whether my instincts are right as I'm on so much meds and somewhat depressed But its triggering my PTSD big time

Hugs to anyone who needs them.

Got my stuff done yesterday overdone it and last night I collapsed actually hit the ground. I've been in bed all day, left ovary pain is flaring badly and sciatica has now joined in. I'm miserable and grumpy, I have all the meds I can have.

GP has already refered but it was due to be seen in early April but lockdown. I'm lucky though it comes in bursts and not constant.

I woke around 5am and turned back to sleep and fell into one of those continued type dreams, ultra weird and I woke at 11am to my phone ringing, I was disoriented

It was CPN to literally tell me how well I was doing!!!

It was just over 5 weeks ago I contacted them feeling suicidal but hey it's a good job I'm not suicidal isn't it? Oh wait, I was, so so glad they got back to me so quickly, basically wanting to know was I still going to engage with them,

I think she wants me off her list but there is "noone else" as I had asked for a change in cpn in February as I wasn't getting anything out of the monthly visits, as I talked each time I could see her sitting there making shopping lists in her head, she would ask me to sum things up in 2-3 sentences before she left, I believe this was so she could summarise the appointment in notes as while I talked I often threw in a few very random things to see was she actually listening at all, nope not a jot.

Todays list is simple
Make food and try to eat

frogs so sorry to hear about your fall, and pain and rubbish cpn. Sounds rotten.

I'm feeling seriously miserable this evening.

're the "body keeps the score" I downloaded it about a month ago but haven't read it yet, my fnd is caused by C-ptsd, is it a good option?

Food ✔ - ate a bag of McCain gastro chips.

Tomorrow I hope will be a better day, support worker is here on Friday morning again. 😀

yes it is frogs I read it in relation to my son whose ptsd has caused functional symptoms ie sometimes his legs don't work. Fascinating insight into the only really very recent understanding of the impact of trauma and what can help. Just need to finish it!

well done on the crisps. could u manage a glass of milk before you go to bed?