can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

just popping in to say hello, thinking of you all. I'm still having a nightmare with sciatica. considering private mri next week. Take care everyone

I felt exactly the same a couple of weeks ago and treated myself to a new rug and cushions and it really motivated me to sort and re organise and have a good spring clean. The week after I bought new bedding for our room and dcs bedrooms then that motivated me to get the bedrooms sorted and to get the baskets and piles of washing put away

I went to bed in Thursday night and couldn't sleep till almost Friday morning 3am, then fell into an exhausted sleep woke up around 10am after very weird vivid dreams and have been dopey all day(more so than usual - keep replaying the dreams in my head but just weird)

I've done very little today bar cook a tray of bacon for sandwiches and entertain the kittens. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

@Mummyof2girls5and10 this is much needed sorting out as I moved house in February, got my stuff out of storage and then lockdown, I can't do it by myself physically so for me it's brilliant that my support workers are back on the job. I'm coming back from being a hoarder, I'm getting things back under my control as at one point it was really bad, all my rooms were at 9 on the clutter index, I'm now between 1-2, a 3 on one room only so I'm proud of myself for that.

oh frogs thats awful re sleep. Hope todays going a little better.

I'm pondering a and e as despite even more medication my back and leg are still agony

Just a tired hello to everyone. I've been sleeping really poorly, and extra zombie-like during the days. My therapist is sick, so no therapy this week, and I've had a fair few days of relying on dumb, maladaptive coping mechanisms (self-harm, alcohol, eating disorder behaviours). Some good mood moments in the mix, though, so I'm feeling a little bit hopeful they might be coming more common? I've been out and about a bit more, and have managed to book a hairdresser's appointment. Talking to the GP again next week, and might up the fluoxetine dose if she thinks it's a good idea.

It's cleaning day today. I've sorted the kitchen basics and laundry, and have done a basic hygiene round of the bathroom. Also walked to Aldi and back. Feel exhausted now, but that's everything done today I'd planned.

Sorry you're still suffering colouring. Do go if you can't cope, especially if you start getting any numbness.

insane well done getting all that done.

I did end up in a and e last night and had some diazepam which helped a bit. i have 3 days worth so praying I start to see an improvement 🙏

I dont think this pain is ever going to end. it's just another way that he's broken me. my kids don't want to be here with me so I'm on my own again. i actually felt looked after in and e. People spoke to me with kindness and sympathy rather than ditting there staring at me

I'm so sorry you're struggling so much with it! I really do know how horrible it can be, and when mine was bad I once spent a week in hospital when my legs went numb and the agony was too much to move at all. (Morphine did help!) Do ask for more diazepam if you feel it helps at all. I really hope things will improve for you soon.

I can't think of any plans for today. There's not really any housework that really needs doing. I've been doing a lot of exercise, and my feet and back are kind of sore, and could probably do with a rest day. I've been pottering around aimlessly since 5am, and can't really think of anything to focus on.

saw this on fb and thought of us all

I had a meltdown today because I've been productive for two days in a row and it's stressing me out. Told the kids I feel like normal life is swamping me as I've got so used to the zen pace of lockdown. I can;t handle all the interaction and the small admin things that crop up as a result of real life happening again.

Sorry that was to @colouringindoors.

Think I want to retire to a sleepy island.

I'm coming with you monkey!

Anyone around? not feeling safe this evening.

If the sleepy island comes with some guaranteed sleep, I'll come, too. Woke up at 2am this "morning", although did probably get a few hours of sleep in there beforehand. It's getting very tempting to start self-medicating.

Other than that it's been a decent day. I got an actual haircut, and some errands and chores dones. Felt like a mostly functional human, until the tiredness kicked in after lunch. Now just hanging on for a little bit longer and finishing my herbal tea, before heading upstairs for my hopeless sleep hygiene routine. Sigh.

Sorry you're not feeling safe colouring - somehow missed that in my sleepyness. Is there any little things you can think of to fill the evening? Even if it's just small things that only take a little bit of time each. Something to focus on and distract with? (Some of these maybe, although some are kind of naff?) Or can you call Samaritans or somewhere else, if talking would help?

Mind has this tool, too, although I've never tried it, so can't say if it's any good.

thanks insane xxxx

well done all you got done this morning despite the shit sleep. A friend of mine does resort to antihistamines and alcohol when she can't handle any more insomnia, but its not ideal...

my whole leg and bum feels like its on fire 🔥 😩

Hello all

I'm new to the mental health board and I've just found this thread.

I've read it from start to finish and it really chimes with how I'm feeling. I love the idea of choosing three things a day to get done (I was about to write 'just' three things but stopped myself because I have many days where managing 'just' one is impossible.)

Does anyone want to revive the thread?

Good wishes to all of you - life is tough!

Hi Lettera welcome. We do have the odd quiet spell but its a lovely supportive thread. My three things are variable at the mo. But today I have spoken to GP, made playlist for my mum and dad's 50th wedding anniversat.

and had session with therapist. Was useful. She was encouraging me to go to the party and go on holiday for the sake of my mental health.

Hi colouring

Thanks for the welcome!

How are your leg and bum now? (If it's not indelicate to ask!)

It sounds as if you had a good day. I especially admire your making the anniversary playlist. I would be paralysed by indecision over what to choose and anxiety-stricken by the responsibility!

Today I got out of bed before 9 am (and stayed out); showered and cleaned my teeth (including using interdental brushes!); and picked up a click & collect order and put it away.

Now I'm on the sofa!

Welcome @Lettera!

I’m still here! Started back at work this week so that is consuming everything at the moment. Will aim to post properly at the weekend.

Hope everyone is doing ok