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can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

736 replies

monkeyonthetable · 14/05/2020 14:10

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? Grin I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 03/07/2020 13:02

Insane I had terrible anxiety and side effects like you when I started Fluoxetine HP ended up prescribing Trazodone to deal with anxiety which worked well. Its horrible time. Sounds like you've got a fair bit done this morning already so don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe have a little siesta if you're still feeling tired? I dozed yesterday morning 11 30-12.30 and did feel a lot better for it.

Monkey you've got a lot done to! How about a brisk 20 minute walk to get some fresh air (though I've realised I'm posting 2 hrs after you!)

colouringindoors · 03/07/2020 13:07

Terralee thats great re solicitor Smile

well I took first amitriptyline last night.... and slept till 11.30! oh well! not expecting any change in pain for a wgile. GP suggested codeine alongside but I'm not keen. makes me terribly constipated which with a slight prolapse totally stressed me out. Taking so many pills now they all start interacting Confused.

Was a lot less mobile yesterday but that mean I was in a lot less pain which have me a bit of a breather thankfully. Its a tricky line... but also kids were home most of day and didn't want to traumatise them by lots of swearing and yelping! My therspist thinks its no coincidence that this has happened as we started getting really stuck in on my trauma work. She may be right. But i can't be like this for long.

monkeyonthetable · 04/07/2020 16:21

@colouringindoors - what's the diagnosis for your pain? I'm interested that the therapist thinks it's linked to emotional upheaval. This may sound daft but did you know that playing video games and to a lesser extent watching TV can reduce pain significantly? Might be worth doing one of those to get past the worst of it.

I'm in a real zoned out phase. I woke up early but did nothing except read until the tree surgeon came round to check out some triffids that need cutting back. Then just zoned out all day. Managed to agree by email to stay with a friend later in the year to work on a project together. And finally forced myself out of the house for a walk. Meeting up with friends on Zoom later for a catch up. But I feel I have just been glued to the sofa for about sixteen hours. House could do with a good clean but...

OP posts:
colouringindoors · 04/07/2020 23:12

Compressed disc putting pressure on sciatic nerve. Resorted to codeine today (which I hate cos if the constipation) that plys last night's amitriptyline turned me into a zombie today

But lovely neighbour made dinner for me and ate with me which was v nice.

TV def helps thanks. Hope you managed to get out and had a nice chat with friends...

colouringindoors · 05/07/2020 11:23

hi all. Today's objectives: shower, get dressed, eat food.

InsaneProbably · 05/07/2020 19:39

Hope you manage those colouring. A lot of us seem to be going through a zombie phase for one reason or another.

I had a write-off day yesterday in terms of any chores or achievements. DH and I were both just not in the mood. We gamed. We took a long nap together. We ordered Subway delivery for dinner. It was actually kind of nice, which made a nice change.

I had a bad night, so feeling very tired and spaced out today. Still, we've been out for a walk and got the weekly basic tidying done - plus I mopped the floors, which really really needed doing. Rest of the day's been spent in a sleepy haze, though.

Tomorrow I need to chase up something to do with taxes. Ugh.

monkeyonthetable · 05/07/2020 21:48

Managed a long walk with DC, a bath and hair wash, a washload and went to friends for a socially distanced BBQ - the first time we've socialised in four months.
But really need to tackle the housework.

OP posts:
monkeyonthetable · 05/07/2020 21:50

@InsaneProbably - that souhnds like a nice day. Better to admit you need a day off and have it than constantly feel guilty about doing nothing.

Hope everyone else is OK. Seems to be a slow, tough week for lots of us.

OP posts:
InsaneProbably · 06/07/2020 09:57

Morning everyone. Yes, it was quite a nice day, monkey. Felt like a breath of fresh air, to be honest, despite our shared lack of wanting to do anything. Glad you managed to get to a BBQ and see some people!

I'm pleased with myself that I got the tax issue sorted first thing this morning. It was an international thing, something that I got myself a bit worked up over, but luckily fixed with one phone call. Phew. I used to anxiety comedown jitters to do some strength exercise, too, so that's my second win for the day. Third task would be to get to Tesco. Not looking forward to it at all, but I guess it must be done.

colouringindoors · 06/07/2020 14:25

Morning all.

insane Well done on the tax thing! Good luck with Tescos...

monkey hop you're getting on OK.

I've sorted masks for kids and me.
Going to try and do ickabog activity with ds.
debating whether to call doctor back...

I am feeling a bit brighter in myself, suspect its the amitriptyline and 30mg codeine 4x a day Hmm

InsaneProbably · 07/07/2020 06:33

Glad the meds are helping a bit colouring. This thread seems quiet now. I hope everyone is okay.

Tesco was surprisingly okay yesterday. It was the first time since pre-lockdown I'd been in the big local one, so I was feeling quite nervous about it. Luckily it was very quiet. I had a good wander around the whole shop (partly just because trying to follow the arrows!) and bought myself new jeans and other bits that have been a bit hard to ask DH to pick for me. I think I had another slightly better day on the whole yesterday, which is giving me some hope with the fluoxetine.

Today's things: I have a (non-medical) phone appointment this morning, and will need to get to a pharmacy at some point. I think the weather is supposed to be bad, so I should do some indoor exercise. Also, bed linen needs changing/washing again. All very exciting.

ejecoms · 07/07/2020 06:47

Hello all sorry I’ve fallen off the radar... have even lacked motivation to post on here. I’ve been feeling a bit demoralised that the areas I sorted out at the beginning of this thread are now looking back to how they were...

monkeyonthetable · 07/07/2020 15:55

@ejecoms I get that too. Declutter or deep clean and then feel demoralised that it doesn't last. But try to feel good that it would be even more cluttered or grubby if you hadn't. Also, time has started to get all elastic during lockdown. The beginning of lockdown was almost four months ago so completely normal to have to redo some jobs.

OP posts:
Comps83 · 07/07/2020 18:42

I actually started lockdown quite well
Motivated myself to do exercise most days
Now... I feel like I don't want to do anything. I can't bring myself to leave the house at all . Feel so numb

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 07/07/2020 21:58

I lost the motivation to post also. I have been stuck in bed majority of the past 10 days, migraine has been giving me hell.

Today I hope was the hangover part of it, but it goes away a bit and then hits again. Phone appointment with neurologist in August again so possibly need to try something different.

My support worker is back on Thursday and the plans are to tear a room apart and work out what needs to donate / stay / dump - make a to buy list as needed

Friends are coming to do a few jobs tomorrow. It's a slow process and I just want to hide but I know it needs to be done. I'm avoiding talking to people as I don't feel I have anything to say.

Comps83 · 07/07/2020 22:01

I also avoid talking to ppl as I have nothing to say
I've openly admitted not wanting a zoom catchup or social distance walk because I have no input

monkeyonthetable · 08/07/2020 09:12

@NotanotherboxofFrogs - you will feel SO good when you have tackled that room. And I've realised very recently, it's fine to need and ask for help. I bet lots of us never got support or help as children and greqw up thinking we somehow didn't deserve it in the way other people do. I've been looking at very successful people and the one thing they have in common is a massive support network. No trying to get fit from you tube videos. they hire a trainer. They have psychotherapists and mentors and life coaches and regular trips to salons and physios etc etc. No keeping their own house clean. They have fleets of cleaners, laundry people, gardeners, window cleaners etc.

I know most of us don't have the money for that, but getting friends to help, or swapping skills with a neighbour or paying a local teen a fiver an hour to mow the lawn/paint the window frame is a good start. I've started doing this. I had a bit of money saved up and I'm spending it on a personal trainer. My theory is - if I get fit and strong, I'll have more energy to tackle the jobs I have no energy to do right now.

@Comps83 - I feel like that too. But I forced myself to socialise twice this week and everyone was in the same boat. No news. But we just chatted about what we'd watched on TV, nice walks we'd found and where we'd love to go on holiday some time. Lots of discussing fantasy lives while life is on hold. I felt like I was out of practise talking to people. really socially awkward. But better to get some practise in than not. It gets easier.

OP posts:
NotanotherboxofFrogs · 08/07/2020 13:44

Definitely @colouringindoors, I had to force myself to get out of bed, alarms going non stop from 7.30am till almost 10.30am. I'm struggling to even reply to texts, emails, WhatsApp, Facebook etc as it's overwhelming.

Sorting out this room will be a massive help to me as I can't even get the door closed so if the front door is opened you can see straight in to the shame room. I've tried moving stuff but the pile collapsed on me, it was just piled every which way by the men with a van in mid March as I wasn't able get oversee it myself.

I have someone who does my grass for me, he keeps telling me that it needs cut at "least once a week", it's almost 2 weeks since the last cut and I checked this morning, almost half an inch (so hardly a wilderness) I will keep insisting on the 2 weekly and monthly in the winter, as he is trying to make handy cash and I refuse to pay £80-100 a month on grass. I live on a council estate so that might give an estimate on the size of the gardens, so not massive and the front door to the gate is taken up with ramp.

He spoke to the fella next door but one, one day, he asked him if he was going to paint the fence, he said yes when he had time, grass man knocked on his door the following morning to ask him to put the kettle on as he was working for hours and needed a drink, it was just after 8am and he had painted the fences and was ready for payments. Neighbour told him to f off as he hadn't asked him to paint it, he just went ahead and wanted paid for the job. He had started work at 5am cos only "dossers sleep in" apparently.

He tells me that if I just got out of the bed and off the sofa, I'd be a lot better healthwise!!! I also need to pray it away (I'm atheist) and think positive. (Bangs head on the wall), for a bit of context I've spent 6/12 months in the past year in hospital so absolutely fine healthwise??? Rant over🙄

I have been keeping an eye out / putting feelers for a cleaner as I had one until I went into hospital, she closed her business in November as surprise pregnancy so she is concentrating on the 🚼 now, her youngest is 20 so was a surprise for her, so want to try and find someone but covid etc.

My wins today:
Wash / drying / dishwasher loads all on at the moment
Stew in slow cooker doing it's thing
Cardboard boxes in a pile (local recycling centre is still closed)
Kittens fed, watered, new trays, put outside for a while to air the house out (they were in a pen) currently cuddled up on my lap, played with them for a while, they are tired
Bundled up excess bedding which is going to my brother, he plans to visit the weekend after next, put inside a suitcase that needs to be returned to him (12 x fitted sheet for single bed, I don't have a single bed anymore since my move in February)
Refilled all soaps / toiletries check

Self care
I have booked a back massage for the 27th,
have also booked vision express for the 21st as I need new glasses asap, I've been wearing my reading for everything as my other 2 pairs broke, if I knock my glasses off the bedside table, I need glasses to find my glasses.
Need to book in with the nurse for bloods which are due

(Whoops that's a long one)

runningpink · 08/07/2020 20:49

Hi all.
I’ve been meaning to post for a few days but just not had the energy.
I’m completely and utterly done with all of this. Feeling pushed out of a friendship but can’t decide if I’m just being paranoid or if I really do have reason to think this. (This is something which is a mass trigger for me and my anxiety is high.

I’m managing to eat (too much junk though), exercise each day and sort of do jobs but it all feels pointless. Not achieving anything useful really.

Well done frogs you have had a productive day

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 09/07/2020 00:01

List of other jobs done, support worker is here in the morning. Have a lot of stuff to sort thru with her.

Pain levels tonight is high and painkillers aren't touching it. I'm maxed out. It's going to be a long night I think

Jullyria · 09/07/2020 03:16

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runningpink · 09/07/2020 10:24

I hope the painkillers kicked in and you managed some sleep frogs and I hope it goes ok with support worker today

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 09/07/2020 13:51

Great session with the support worker today, it has helped me mentally and physically. Pain is still wild, no sleep at all, I was in the shower at 5am, hoping that it would help,

I'm sitting sorting stuff on the internet since, kittens have been very attentive to me and have been using them.as heat packs. Have used my daily maximum for PRN painkillers on top of usual dosages. But it will pass, eventually.

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 09/07/2020 16:27

And I finally got some sleep, almost 2 hours so feeling better for it, pain is still high but a slightly lower notch than earlier 🤗 it's the small things isn't it?

Going to reheat leftover stew from yesterday, it's always better the second day and take it very easy

runningpink · 10/07/2020 15:30

That’s good to hear that your session went well. And even better that you managed some sleep.

How is everyone today?