can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

I managed to have a shower yesterday lunchtime then got the bus to the shopping centre!! I didn't need my anxiety meds either as shopping makes me feel relaxed.
Unfortunately no coffee shops were open even for takeaway, & the bookshop was card only (my sister has my card as I overspend too much).
I bought an eyebrow pencil with my Boots points & the Clinique lady gave me a mini mascara & lipstick!!

Today it's very windy so I'm not really sure about going out. But I don't really want to stay in either....

Hi everyone, well done on all the emailing, washing etc.

I'm writing this lying flat on my back on the floor. Back v bad still.

Mood not too bad.

Hi again eje

nice bonus teralee!

Hello, OP. I'm late to the party but I feel exactly the same. Haven't even managed to get out of my pyjamas today.

I am going to have a shower now and wash my hair. Baby steps.

@Terralee what a good shopping trip! I do miss the coffee shops being open... take away is not the same.

Welcome Alexa. Hope the nudges help!

Hi colouring hope your back improves. Sounds difficult.

I’ve managed to get my tasks done and actually had a reasonable day. DS’s friend came round to play and I had a nice chat with his mum. DS and I pick black currants from the garden and I’m making some jam.

Sounds like a good shopping trip Terralee. Glad you managed to do something that relaxes you.

Oh no, colouring. Have you got anything that helps it? I used to get sciatica, and had some relief from a TENS machine and from using heat patches - but granted those things wouldn't touch it much back when it was very bad. I hope things improve!

Welcome *Alexa".
Sounds like a good day ejecoms.

I've had mixed success today. We went for a rainy walk with DH, which was nice enough, and I've managed to read, and have done some basic chores and cooking, but I never got round to tidying the side of the bed. I went upstairs thinking of it in the afternoon, and just ended up having a nap instead. Oh well. Been very groggy after the unplanned sleep, so just zombie-ing it until bedtime now.

Hi Alexa and welcome! Thanks Insane actually this pm it improved as I only stood or laid down. Now I'm wiped out and collapsed on sofa and its awful. Have appointment with osteopath Wednesday. birthday Tuesday though.

eje thanks your pm sounds nice.

Watching Girl on the train and I identify most with Rachel. Not ideal.

I have also watched this before and am still confused

Think I am obsessed with my borderline EA male friend. He gave me a hug last weekend, as a friend, as he knows I've been down lately and I cannot stop thinking about it.

Anyone around?

that'll be a no then

@colouringindoors I’m here now. Are you ok?

Sorry colouring I'm an early sleeper! I've been waking up far too early in the morning. Did you want to chat about your feelings for your friend?

My jobs for today are:

• try and work out why the vacuum cleaner isn't sucking up
• finish sorting out the fish tank. Maybe go to the fish shop and ask what I can do about the algae.
• cook something nice for dinner. I feel like my cooking has been awful recently.

Friends: I'll message my DSis about meeting up next week
Hobbies: I'll do some knitting (for DS's teacher's card!)

Hope you all have a good day.

Hi everyone

@colouringindoors I got to bed by 930 unless I'm actually out out. My meds always make me really sleepy by 9 ish! Boring I know.

Yesterday I sorted out a lot of paperwork & bought new folders in Tesco. Felt a little paranoid going in & out of Tesco but I always do. But got lots sorted out. I'm continuing today.
Felt depressed last night. But ok now.

thanks had a very low evening. Back is worse again today dont know what to do with myself. trying to keep mobile a bit but so painful. told friend irl life some if stuff in my head last night she said

You're falling apart you poor love. Have you got any away time booked for the holidays?

made ne feel worse

Sorry to hear this colouring. Is there anything you can do to help your back? Osteopath? Is it the back pain making your internal dialogue worse? Or would it still be a problem without it?

Well done Terralee. Having things sorted makes a massive difference.

I was feeling very down this morning, but went to the fish shop with DD and that perked me up. We’ve changed the fish tank a bit and it looks much better and we’ve got some shrimp to eat the algae.

I’m going to chose something to cook now and then go out and get the ingredients.

Osteopath booked but earliest is Wednesday.

not helping internal dialogue last night and today. Feel even more broken. Will have to ask for help from ex who I dont like and gave me ptsd. so fucked up.

well done on the fish front. I am going to try and get to local wenzels and buy cake.

colouring hope you enjoyed the cake! Have to admit that I bought chocolate when I went to get ingredients. Made morrocan chicken and cous cous - was easy and tasty.

I’m at work today so I’m going to be pretty busy so not sure about doing anything apart from work. I’ll try to tidy the kitchen and clear a shelf in our larder.

Hope everyone has a good day.

I tried to have a shower last night but was too sleepy. Got to have one now as going in for a work meeting at 11am!!

Waving at you all very tiredly. I seem to have lost all my focus in a haze of tiredness, sleep deprivation and brain fog.

Yesterday I did manage to tidy up the side of the bed, clean the bathroom, do some laundry and go for a walk - somehow. Today I've already forced myself to get to the pharmacy and the grocery store, and I've half-arsed my way through physio. Still planning to bake some banana muffins, as I've been overly enthusiastic in my banana buying. I'm half asleep from my PRN, and have no idea what I'm doing.

Good luck with whatever you're attempting today.

Good luck at work eje terralee

just rang doc waiting for a call back re sciatica. not improving. can't face two more days like this before osteopath. paying they'll give me something short term. esp as nirthday tomorrow though think I might postpone it...

Oh I hope the doctor is able to help colouring. Will keep my fingers x for you

A successful day yesterday insane! Take it easy today and enjoy that banana bread.

terralee did you manage that shower?

Im struggling with not being able to see any sort of future. It’s like my life has been put on hold with the current situation. My insecurities are through the roof and I just can’t relax and enjoy anything at the minute.
I’m managing to shower daily, eat again and exercise but it’s all done in a zombie like fashion.

Thanks running she prescribed Naproxen which I've taken and has done nothing. I'm going to increase dose (is ok to double).

Totally know what you mean about Zombie like.... and future. I am really struggling with not being able to plan anything. Take care.

I hope the extra dose has helped ease it even a little colouring.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. Everyone around me appears to just be getting on with it or making grand plans to change/improve things for the future.