can't motivate myself to do anything - please give me a nudge

[monkeyonthetable]

I wake up every morning and have zero motivation for anything. There are loads of things I'd like to do or could do but I seem to have an invisible block stopping me from actually doing any of them. I found it hard enough this morning to just have a bath and get dressed. Weirdly, the stuff I most want to do is even harder to get motivated about.

I am managing a walk most days, a bit of cooking, shared with DH and the bare minimum housework. But even the house seems so perpetually grubby from having everyone home all the time, and I don't have energy to clean, only to see it undone within 24 hours.

I feel like I need someone to tell me: do this now. I just can't find the ignition myself.

Anyone feel the same? Or have advice? or fancying telling me what to get started on? I know it seems silly but it is really dragging me down and making me feel deeply self-critical. Slippery slope.

Ah Insane will be thinking of you x

Hi hwwyd totally with you on the brain situation. Here it's already far to hot to do anything outside and much inside! Sympathies re the washing! Any friends/neighbours who could put a load in for you?

I ended up having a really nice evening with my neighbour (shame she's moving). And a positive chat with my GP this morning who after listening said sounded like an element of ptsd which for me is positive that she's understanding my situation better. She's going to call her psychiatrist contact/friend to see if she'll squeeze me in... fingers crossed.

hwwyd I think what is do is pick 2 things from that list to do today...

Today’s hot weather makes doing pretty much anything hard work.

Can I join? I've been having some good days, but most days I just don't want to do anything and I feel like I could fall asleep at almost any time of day, but then I just doze and don't feel rested at all.
I have managed a workout and shower today, and I 'm hoping to mow the lawn and cook dinner. I just feel like I'm wasting so much time...

Welcome Lostara.

The appt happened. I was way too anxious for it have been a useful phone appointment. Sigh. She recommended I go back to fluoxetine. I haven't been on that for a long time, but used to take the maximum dose for years. I think it got stopped as it wasn't doing anything, so I'm obviously feeling quite sceptical, and now debating whether it's actually worth even picking up the prescription.

Feeling extremely low, but have just managed to eat a little bit of something, so I guess that's something. No jobs will be happening round here today.

Women who cannot motivate themselves may be suffering from low thyroid function, which is often undiagnosed I suggest asking the G:P for a blood test - and maybe try eating seaweed (iodine rich) to see if it helps Best wishes.

@JER27 that's useful advice. but my lack of motivation is due to the negative symptoms of schizoaffective disorder.

I had a wash got up quite early for me as my Dad came round.
Now I'm trying to get up the motivation for making tea.
Also need to have a shower.

Determined to go to the shopping centre tomorrow.

My thyroid is also fine. Not borderline, not "I'd be on medication if it wasn't for unrealistic NHS parameters" fine, but just fine. Even my thyroid antibodies and other non-standard tests are fine. It's the host of diagnosed mental health issues that's the problem.

Well done for the wash, Terralee, and the early start.

I had initially cancelled this week's therapy, as it clashed with the only GP's appt I could get for this week, but I've messaged therapist and will talk with her tomorrow instead now, rather than waiting for next week.

@hwwynd that is a big list. Try and choose a couple of things to tackle today and that will be an achievement.

@colouringindoors I’m so glad you had a nice time with your neighbour. And that your GP chat was positive.

@LostaraYil Welcome! Well done on your workout and shower. I know what you mean about feeling like you ate waisting time. Did you manage to do the grass?

@InsaneProbably how did the GP appointment go?

I’m counting down the days until my next session with my counsellor . I’m so glad I asked for one sooner than I normally would. I cannot get out of my head at all, It’s like I’m slowly tormenting myself.

I really really want to talk to my friend about some of the stuff that’s buzzing around, (I think her reassurance would help) but I don’t want to burden her as she has enough going with her kids and with trying to sort her businesses out once lockdown is lifted.

I feel like the whole lockdown situation has triggered some stuff from the past, and which I have spent the last 5 years trying to rebuild from and the last 9 months dealing with the issues properly. Now I feel like Iv gone back to five years ago and i just can’t see a future at all.

I feel so sad all the time. I just want a hug and to be to reassured everything will be ok.

Ah sorry @InsaneProbably this only updated after I posted. I’m sorry to hear the appointment didn’t go too well. Well done for eating something. It’s too hot for doing jobs today so don’t even think about them for now they can wait.
I’m glad you have been able to get an appointment with therapist for tomorrow

(((((running)))))

Struggling to get a shower today keep putting it off.

Gentle nudges in your direction Terralee.

Thanks, running. I hope it's not too long until you can talk to the counsellor, and hope it will help to untangle things a bit, too.

I'm glad I spoke to mine today. At least she's one person who I can speak to on the phone without getting my brain all mixed up and not making sense to her. I don't think phone appintments are really working for me in general, though. My GP surgery seem to be taking the road of "this is the new normal; we won't be going back to the way things used to be", and it does make me despair. I'm just so bad with phone calls.

Feels nice and fresh here weather-wise with a bit rain. I meant to go out, but my foot hurts today, so having an indoor day. I'm doing laundry, and plan to change the bed linen and do my physio.

I have the same problem.two baskets of washing to be put away now basket full of dirty stuff house is a mess can't be bothered

Hi all. Really bad lower back wjth sciatica today which is nasty. So not doing much whilst also gently keeping mobile. Putting pants on was the most painful thing!!! Should be studying but I'm not. Going to try having a little siesta first...

Working my way through lists, been trying to cook at least alternating days, a bag of crisps doesn't really count as a meal, does it? Groceries came today.

My support worker did a visit this morning and will be back to regular visits next week.

Am sorting house bits from my list, need to start looking for a cleaner when things are more normal. Floors are my hardest task, I end up soaked in sweat and physically shaking, that's me finished for that day then (and probably the next)

Wins - I have managed a shower this morning. Made chicken cordon bleu yesterday evening so will have the leftovers for my tea,

Need to put away a load of drying.

Those are good things frog. I finally tidied up the piles of washing cover over half of my bed and sorted out summer clothes! Thats all I've done today but its been due for weeks and makes my bedroom feel much nicer. Oh and bought a pair of flip flops for dd and top for me in the sale 😁 Takeaway Turkish bbq tonight in honour if the heat!

@Terralee did you manage to have a shower?

How have you got on today @InsaneProbably? Did you manage to tackle your laundry? I agree about the phone calls, as hard as face time face is sometimes I still prefer that to phone or video chats

@colouringindoors how is your pain now? I’m glad you have treated yourself to a new top.

@NotanotherboxofFrogs those are good wins!

I’m kind of getting stuff done but I am also waisting so much time. Managed some painting in the garden today, made a cake and done the dishes. I’m managing to exercise but I’m panicking on every run and I don’t know why.

I was so used to being busy (50 hour working week) and three months of being furloughed and living on my own is definitely taking its toll now.

Sorry I fell of the list... I was doing really well but I hit a mental block. There are certain projects I was working on pre-covid which I put on hold. They just didn’t seem important at that time. But now we are on the other side, I have to get them done. They are looming over me. And I’m struggling to enjoy the time I’m not working/doing something productive because I feel I should be working on these projects. So I need to recommit to posting. The other thing I’ve realised is that I need to work on developing my friendships and hobbies. As DH said, I have nothing in my life but work and the kids.
So today I’m going to:

• go through my emails, delete what is rubbish
• choose 2 emails and reply to them
• hobby: clean out fish tank and go to shop to get water tested (lots of algae)
• friends: message a friend who is moving

@runningpink - it sounds like furlough has been tough for you. Do you know when you might be back?

@colouringindoors sounds like you got some good stuff done!

Well I’ve done those emails jobs. Funny how quick it can be to actually do something that I’ve been putting off!

ejecoms great that you have emails done already. I hope the rest of your list is as successful today.

Yes lockdown and furlough have really broken me. Possibly the middle of July for going back. Although I’m desperate to be working again, I’m also worried about going back after being off for so long.
I guess I have had too much time on my hands for my brain to go into overdrive. I have no purpose anymore, everything just feels like what’s the point.

Morning.

Sorry about the pain, colouring. I hope it's let up by now.
Well done for all the wins, Frogs!
Great getting the emails done already, ejecoms. Your plans sound good.

Thanks for asking, running, the laundry got sorted, thankfully. Must be weird to go from 50 hours to nothing suddenly. I'm well practiced in this "doing fuck all" stuff unfortunately, as haven't worked in ages. I did rely a lot on various routines that took me out of the house, though, and those have all been cancelled since March, of course. I hope you can get back to your normal schedule sooner rather than later.

I currently seem to have fairly productive and functional mornings, and afternoons and evenings when everything gets bad. Got all my few things done yesterday, but from midday onwards the day was a write-off. It's day 2 on fluoxetine today, and so far I just feel mildly drunk or stoned, and have the same dizziness and nausea I was already having as withdrawals from old meds. I'm not expecting miracles from myself today.
Plans:

• Either a walk or some time on the crosstrainer.
• Do some reading.
• Tidy up my side in the bedroom, where the space inbetween the bed and wall is all cluttered with my books, random rubbish, papers, old chargers and who knows what. There's a bedside table somewhere underneath it all that needs to resurface!

I’m meeting my son later for a walk . Haven’t seen him properly since January. And right now I am sorting my bedroom . I’ve been putting this off for months and months....

I feel the same op. Dh keeps wanting to do stuff. Drives me nutty. I tell him so, but he just doesn't 'get it'.