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Mental health

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Original poster

Just feeling crappy today :(

28 replies

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:11

Had to stand and be virtually ignore by my friend talking to another friend about college this morning which i found really hard.
Don't get me wrong i am pleased my friend is doing the course as she really wants to be a midwife but she seems to be rubbing my face in it a bit.

Just feeling such a failiure today now.
Plus she was the only real friend i had round here of my age and we had college in common before, now we don't seem to have anything in common.

OP posts:

ponygirl · 05/10/2004 10:12

Hi Nutcracker, sorry you're having a bad day. I've been away so don't know what's been going on for you lately, but did you see the gp about possible depression?

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:16

Yeah i did PG. She has given me 6 weeks to try several things as an alternative to AD's.

She said she just generally wants me to take positive steps to improve my life, like taking ds out more, writing down 3 things i like and didn't like about my day e.t.c

She was really good as she knew i was reluctant to go on ad's.

I haven't been too bad lately, just having a bit of a wobble today.

OP posts:

MUMINAMILLION · 05/10/2004 10:16

Aaw, nutty. Perhaps she is not deliberately rubbing your face in it and is just being a little insensitive? If something is going on in a person's life, it is sometimes hard to think about other people, and perhaps she is just so wrapped up in her own life at the moment, she has forgotten how it may be affecting you. Maybe you just need to talk to her - tell her how you feel?

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:19

Oh i know she is not doing it intentionally, she wouldn't do that.

I don't weant to tell her it's upsetting me as she is doing really well and i am really pleased for her. I think she'd take offence if i said she was talking about it a bit too much.

Anyway it's just me being silly, she should be able to waffle about it, I would have if i was her.

OP posts:

ponygirl · 05/10/2004 10:19

I'm glad the gp visit was positive. It sounds like she's given you some good things to start with, though it's hard getting going on something like this and you're bound to have some bad days. I agree with Muminamillion too, can you talk to your friend?

JuniperDewdrop · 05/10/2004 10:21

Awww ikwym. I have a friend who I love to bits but sometimes if I mention things that are making me proud she has to better it. Not quite that same problem as you but I know how hard friends can be at times. She's still the first one I ring though.

Nutcracker, are you getting out to places where you can make more friends?

Donbean · 05/10/2004 10:21

I know it sounds awful but im so glad that you wrote that little note cos it makes me feel that im not the only one who has days like that.In fact lots of days like that.Ive got a good network of friends and still feel like that,i dont know why.I go swimming with my little man on a wed morn and the other mothers have full conversations around and over me every week as they all know each other from nursery.It takes all of my strength to gather the bottle to go every week. Have thought about joining the wretched nursery in order to be included but i just think that i dont want to socialise with such an ignorant bunch any way. does that make me sound like a snob/b*h? It really bothers me every week though.Keep your chin up chuck, you will find your way,have confidence in yourself and think chocolate,it always works for mex

SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 10:21

Nutty, how are you doing with your list of things your GP wanted you to do in the 6 weeks?

Can you find something you can do with the old college friend which gives you something new in common?

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:22

Well i met a friend and her little boy for coffee last week so that was nice. Am still trying to find something for me and Ds to do but can't decide what yet.

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JuniperDewdrop · 05/10/2004 10:23

That's good then. Your gp does sound great btw

SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 10:25

Did you arrange to meet the friend for coffee again though? Something I never remember to do is to try and actually arrange the "next time" so that it becomes more regular, even if it's only once a month or something.

Does your DS like swimming? Or is there a Wacky Warehouse type place that does a toddler time (your DS is a toddler isn't he?? I've lost track!) Ours used to have Tots Time - 2 hours play, freee juice & biscuits and a free tea/coffee for you all for £2.50.

blossomhill · 05/10/2004 10:25

How often do you get out of the house in the week nc?

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:25

My list is going o.k. I have been writing down things i liked and disliked about my day, have enquired about stuff for me and Ds and fetching my birth certificate on wednesday to send of for my provisional licence.

Haven't managed to get out to do anything on my own yet though. Don't fancy that much anyway.

Donbean - No it doesn't make you sound like a snob, i know what you mean. Oh and i've already raided the biscuit tin today

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Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:27

Well we are trying to find a wacky in the middle of us both so yeah we are going to meet up again.

Apart from going to and from school, the only other place i go is in to town once a week maybe and possibly more shopping with my mom. Take Dd to ballet on sat mornings and to my dads on sat afternoons. I hate sundays with a passion.

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GeorginaA · 05/10/2004 10:30

Just wanted to send you some hugs, nutty.

I don't know if this helps, but something I find really useful when stuck in a bit of a negative rut are positive thinking hypnotherapy CDs/tapes. I was a bit dubious at first, but I really do notice the difference after using them a couple of times a week for a few weeks.

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 10:35

Cheers Ga, i think my mom has some tapes likje that, i'll have to have a mooch.

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MUMINAMILLION · 05/10/2004 10:39

Have to get off here now nutty (and do something constructive I suppose) but lots of love and hugs. x

sweetheart · 05/10/2004 11:03

Nutty, hugs to you.

Just one question - how can this woman be your only real friend if the only thing you had in common was college??? Or am I reading your post wrong?

I'm sure there are loads of positive things you can do with yourself, you just need to find the courage and inspiration to do them.

Start with something that makes you feel good about yourself, no matter how little - thats sure to put a smile on your face.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 11:11

What do you hate about Sundays?

agy · 05/10/2004 11:14

Nutty, have you got a library near you. You could take little'un and go and sit in the children's section and look at some books for a while. Then perhaps visit the nearest cake shop?! Don't be down - you're too nice for that.

SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 11:15

All the libraries in our area have "baby rhymetime" one morning every week. They're quite good (and free!)

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 11:22

Sweetheart - Thanks Honestly though she is my only real friend. I find it hard to make friends and we just sort of clicked as we are the same age and have kids the same age.
She is alot more confident than me though and knows what she wants, whereas i find it hard to decide what have for brekkie each day nevermind anything else.

Soupy - Sundays, well where do i start i just HATE them. When i was little sundays meant slamming doors and parents either shouting or not speaking. Then after they divorced sundays were great as me my dad and my brothers would go and visit my nan as would the rest of the family. We always had a right laugh. My nan died when Dd1 was 10mths old, so now nobody sees anybody iykwim.
Now i am back to hating sundays as i just find them boring, me and dp always end up arguing over nothing and i just wish i could skip to monday.

We do have a library yeah, haven't checked to see what they do. I'll do that this week as i have to take Dd's books back, Thanks for that suggestion.

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blossomhill · 05/10/2004 11:31

Do you have a 'sure start' near you nutcracker? We do and basically they help families with children under 5. They have coffee mornings, ctivities, days out, tumble time areas and a lot of it is subsidised. We are eligible for it but as dd is now at school full-time she is never around to access any of it. It would be a great way of meeting people!

Original poster

nutcracker · 05/10/2004 11:37

I think the nearest one is 2 buses away BH. We do have a homestart who did offer me a volunteer after i had Ds but I wasn't very keen on her as was dd so we didn't carry it on.

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SoupDragon · 05/10/2004 11:49

Reclaim your Sundays then. Make it the day you, I don't know, go to the park, take bikes out, go swimming as a family... whatever. There must be something you can find to do on a Sunday to turn them into something enjoyable.

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