Need an outlet and people who understand

[Strugglingalone]

Mumsnet keep deleting my threads and the last one had no reason whatsoever but the only way I am getting through at the moment is with random chat with people on here

Been struggling the last few days without a thread

Don't be sorry 🤗 I just wish i could help xxx my biggest accomplishment today is cooking macaroni cheese.. What are you doing at the moment xx

Curled in a ball shaking, just phoned crisis team and they have no knowledge of my referral 🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh goodness. At least you know you are seeing the good person tomorrow. Are the bunnies glad to see you xx I'm having chocolate in bed xx gonna watch something that requires no brain. Maybe celebs go dating, don't judge 😂 xx

Did you not have a mental health act assessment before you left? Or are they treating you as a physically ill patient insulin wise?

Glad to hear you see your careco today- you have the evidence she needs to take you more seriously now. Have you thought about what you want to ask? To me I think the crisis team visiting couldn't hurt.

I fell asleep super early last night so I'm feeling a bit odd to be awake at this time!!

Struggling - I completely empathise with you, and I'm so sorry you are struggling so much. You need to see a psychologist to help you.

We are all here trying to support you, but the only way you will be able to cope is if you get the right psychological support. I know this because I've spent the last 4 years working with psychiatrists and psychologists to support my DD.

There are people out there who understand and can help you, but you need to help yourself by learning techniques to deal with your emotions and I know that's not easy. It's hard, but why not give it a try? Surely it's better than the pain you're currently in?

@strugglingalone just checking in saying hi.

@Myshitisreal having macaroni cheese now (not a ready meal though) - trying to force myself to eat!

@PurpleFrames no! They don’t give a shit until they are in coroners court then they realise they did too little too late! I now don’t want to see my care co today because I just want to see her and it’s been hinted the crisis team might be in the same appt, I will really struggle to say what I need to if there is someone I don’t know there

@pinotgrigio whilst I get what you are saying it just cant happen! I’m in a failing mental health trust, I’ve had 13 care coordinators in 18 months, they are struggling to do everyday care let alone psychology!

I wish I had that luxury, I’ve been under services for 10 years now and am probably the worst I have ever been at the moment!

I do more than I can or should to try and help myself and quite insulted by your comment

I'm so glad you're trying to eat. That's really positive. Did I give you s notion for mac and cheese 😂 🤤 That must be difficult, I wish I had more experience to know how to advise but I would strongly suggest you go anyway and see how it turns out, after all you're not sure if they will be there???

You made me a bit more tempted by it - it was one of 2 left in my fridge!

I will still go, but I just want to see my care co, I’m not in the mood for fighting for stuff today

Hope all goes well in your appointment OP- what time is it? I hope you can feel all our support behind you.

Just a thought (and ignore it if you think it's dumb)... could you write a note to your careco and give it as soon as you arrive? ...
Saying exactly what you've said here ie. That you need to speak without any new people first?

You're so articulate and it must be very frustrating to 'loose' your way to explain when the anxiety is overwhelming x

@PurpleFrames tempted to try and phone her first but doubt she’ll take my call so close to the appt

appt is at 4 - I’m shaking

Scrap that, she’s too busy, now even more anxious about who is going to be in the room

Macaroni cheeses is one of my food dreams 🤤 (ill not mention mac and cheese toasties 😂)

Definitely still go if you can. I think Purpleframes idea is great. This is a person you feel truly gets you, and to not take that opportunity means you're missing out on help (help that you really want and have been asking for) xx

I wouldn’t know what to write, my head has already gone to mush

So anxious

What about 'my anxiety is really high today, nearly didn't make it here. struggling talking with others here. Can I chat to you alone for 5 minutes' or something as simple as that

hey struggling , i’m in your area i think. discharged from services in january for reasons which were all blatant lies. 3 re-referrals but refused every time. i’m on 19 medications, am apparently too complex for therapy so i just have to keep going as best i can.

i know there’s no help round here. i just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. i hope you’re ok today.

Thank you so much for posting - I don’t think anyone really gets it and how this trust functions unless you fight everyday. I’m sorry you’ve also had such a bad experience and that you are coping as best you can!

@Myshitisreal I might just do that, but I wouldn’t know what to say if I spoke to her alone tbh, I’ve completely closed up :’(

I don’t know what to do! What’s the point in even going when I can’t speak

Maybe she can reassure you. She has your back, doesn't she??? At the end of the day these people are here to help you or try and help you. There's every point in going, you're asking for help and not getting it, so if you have some help being offered and don't take it, then you're back to square one. Will the other people interact with you or just be in the room. Can you ask to be sat facing away so at least you can't see them??? I know your brain is mush but this is help that you really need and i (and everyone else here) really want you to get that help xxx you don't want to lose this persons help either

@Myshitisreal it won’t result in help though, I’ve been her so many times before, I guess that’s why I’m so anxious!
You get your hopes up each time and then they just say ‘there is nothing they can do’ or ‘they don’t think it is appropriate’ or ‘it hasn’t helped in the past’ - taking bets on what today’s reason will be!

I am so anxious, I don’t think I can do this!

You CAN did this OP.
You're making naturally negative assumptions due to not being well but it could work out- you need to try and find out.

I imagine you're on the way there now so maybe just show the post on this thread if you don't get time to put pen to paper.

At the end of the day the professionals are not mind readers and there does need to be a certain level of communication- the time taken to reassure you when the trust is struggling so much clearly won't be there, but you need to work with what you have (your expect up all ability to articulate, mental capacity, this thread, a good care co, some support from diabetes team, family etc)

I wish I knew the answer, are you on your way. What kind of help are you looking for. What do you feel will help xx

Typos!

Meant to be -> you CAN do this

And -> your exceptional ability to articulate

So as I suspected - no input from crisis team, I am being put on a list so they will accept telephone calls from me but nothing more

Not seeing care co for 2 weeks now either, nothing is changing, curled in a ball in tears!

There is no help