Need an outlet and people who understand

[Strugglingalone]

Mumsnet keep deleting my threads and the last one had no reason whatsoever but the only way I am getting through at the moment is with random chat with people on here

Been struggling the last few days without a thread

Morning everyone x

OP your reply to my last post is actually fantastic, let me explain. You have that fight to not want to be in hospital and to ask and ask and ask for the support you feel you need and deserve. Well done for that x

Now we could get down over what has not been offered to you- or look at what we have to work with. Approx 10 posters who are willing to support you day or night on top of your nhs service provision (albeit limited).

I think that shows there's people listening, who care and believe in you.

Perhaps you could dm some people? Or make new threads so you can interact with us individually more easily.

Whatever you feel like we will support.

Well done on having a snack and snooze- every little helps as Tesco says!!

Checking in saying hi 👋. @strugglingalone how are you today

Hello @Strugglingalone and everyone else. Checking in too! I was at AA meetings last night and this morning - seems tedious sometimes after many years (especially in the rain!) but I believe it keeps me on the right path ....

Just to echo really what @PurpleFrames said earlier; totally agree with all of that.

And Cordelia on a sunnier day ....

Thank you to everyone that has posted, I don’t have the energy to respond individually

I’m really struggling today, more so than the rest of this week! I’m not sure how to cope with the rest of the weekend

Does anyone else feel like the day is dragging? I got out for 11 and back for 2:30. Been watching telly since... bored/tired/lonely.

Have you managed a snack or a cuppa OP?

Oh Lobster she really is a beauty!
Are you doing service in AA?

@Strugglingalone is there anything that would help? Inane chat? How about your insulin (about which I am very ignorant, but it sounds like something that shouldn't be neglected for too long ....)?

@PurpleFrames I completely relate to those days and know exactly what you mean!! I'm planning my mother's 90th birthday party, she's still recovering after bowel surgery and the hail has thankfully stopped here but wretched Jorge (I think) is blowing a gale.

Yes, I always have at least one service position a week but last night I was doing the chair for a meeting I've never been to before. It was fine - as my DD said very sensibly "it's talking about you and your life, so you can't forget that easily". Too true. And thank you - she (the cat) has been such a comfort over the years. Very low maintenance too.

@PurpleFrames yes completely, I’ve spent most of the day curled in a ball with the tv on and napping too - going to prove fatal later!

@Lobsterquadrille2 insulin has always been an issue when I’m struggling mentally, I used to have an eating disorder (diabulimia) I wouldn’t say I still have it but it’s a very fine line :-/

Strugglingand don’t know what to do - a very low male voice answered the crisis phone so I immediately put the phone down - I can’t deal with men!

Hi OP, sorry you got a man on the phone. I have a friend who hates dealing with men, I don’t know if something happened in the past and I don’t ask because she never volunteers the information. It makes it extra hard to access help.

You still phoned though, that’s a massive thing, like PurpleFrames said above, you keep trying, on here and out there.

Does walking help you at all? I’m out for a walk at the moment, I quite like going out in the dark and looking through windows and wondering about the people I see.

Spoke to the Crisis team and she was really short with me, told me I was wasting her time and there were people who really needed there help

The thoughts are so intense, I don’t think I can do this

Hope you're ok, just in from work xx

Hello

Sorry op I had written a post but fell asleep before sending :(

How are you managing now?

I definitely think you should ask your coco's support in making a complaint when you feel able. It's nor acceptable to be spoken to that way, although sadly in my experience not uncommon

I've got that in the past, when you speak passionately about things. Get accused of "acting aggressively". I hope everyone who struggles, gets listened too

Well last night didn’t go well, back in hospital :-(

Awk love what happened. You know, if that's where you need to be today and you're safe and have support, then maybe it's not such a bad thing. Sorry that's probably not what you want to hear xxx

I'm zombie 🧟‍♂️ today with tiredness. Sending much love xx

The thoughts won!

It would be but they keep forcing me to eat rather than have a drip which is a massive issue!

I'm sure it's all very difficult for you. I remember you said about your eating issues. With your diabetes I'm sure food can only be beneficial. While I realise it's not what you would choose, it is comforting to know you're being fed and looked after. You've been asking for support so maybe it's just coming in a different format than you might have wanted or expected. I'm sorry I'm really shattered so I hope I'm wording things ok and not causing offence. Have they given you an idea how long you will be in? Do you have any tv at least to watch. Sending much love and gentle hugs ♥

I don't have much to report. Ive worked worked worked. I was due to go in today but I've actually got cover for the shift 😰. Today for me will be a lazy day. I'm planning to make mac and cheese tomorrow so that's exciting in my world. I love 🧀 cheese and pasta 🤤. I'm just in the process of finishing crocheting a cat blanket so today I hope to finish that off and get it posted very soon. I need a new tv show to watch also.

Oh OP I'm really sorry for you but also really glad you're in a "safe place".

Do you feel like you can share what happened?

Today I'm watching more old shows on iPlayer- I hope you have a charger with you as I've generally found NHS WiFi good and stronger enough to stream videos.

Please ask for a chat if you need it with the nurses there x

I’ve eaten more in the time I’ve been here than in the last week! The lady in a+e didn’t really get it and was insisting I ate rather than turn my drip up

Just moved to the ward and they seem more understanding (hopefully)

I did what I had been planning all week, what I had spoken to my care co about and the reason I wanted Crisis input this weekend as I knew I couldn’t stop it

@PurpleFrames Last time I was in they had blocked the likes of iplayer and Netflix so unlikely :-/
I will try but opening up to the nurses doesn’t then seem to get passed on to psych

What miserable so and sos! Hopefully you can get leave soon and go to the marks and spencer (it always seems to be M&S in hospital doesn't it!) for a snack or magazine..

Is the food half decent? Even if you don't want it?

Wired up to multiple drops so not going anywhere - that and they wouldn’t trust me!

Asked for prn as thoughts are drifting and I’m getting panicky but it’s been recorded that I’ve had 2 doses today 😕 really starting to struggle

Sorry what's prn???? I'm sorry you're feeling like that. Are you due more medication soon???? Hope you're able to get some rest/respite

Ah sorry - like my diazepam and propanalol

Really struggling with the thoughts

Was just building up to tell an hca how I was feeling - she had been sat with me for a bit but the she had to do some obs before leaving so back to square one with the night shift

Thoughts are completely taking over and I brought meds in with me

PRN is prescription as required and they should give you it when you ask for it up to 4/5 a day.

Have you been sectioned? If not you can leave the ward any time to go any where eg the shop. They will try and tell you that you can't but legally you can.

I think you should stay on the ward and show an hca or someone your posts. They probably have no idea what's going on as not everyone attends handover. I found the staff on my wards didn't even know who took meds when. So please just be clear with what you need- you're very likely to get it.

How the WiFi now? :)