Need an outlet and people who understand

[Strugglingalone]

Mumsnet keep deleting my threads and the last one had no reason whatsoever but the only way I am getting through at the moment is with random chat with people on here

Been struggling the last few days without a thread

No rambling is good and a nice distraction to read. I just can’t process any response, I don’t know what to do

Well, you don't need to do anything apart from keep yourself safe and check in now and again, if you can. When can you speak to your care worker, the one who understands?

Waiting for her to phone me back

Curled in a ball, not functioning today

Sending hugs and positive thoughts. Could you write down what you want to say, even a few pertinent words? I know I keep repeating that! I'm doing an AA chair at a long meeting tonight and I'm writing notes, and I don't normally but it's been a while.

I wouldn’t know what to write , nothing is listened to

So I spoke to duty, referring me to crisis team for the weekend was out of the question

Don’t know what to do anymore

That is rubbish isn't it - sorry you aren't getting the care you deserve.

I'm not going to be about much this weekend so hopefully the others can pop in and keep you company....

I am thinking about you though and hoping you look after yourself x

Will you still get to speak to your named worker?

What is it that you want/feel you need for the weekend?

No didn’t get to speak to my care co - they reconsidered and called me in for an appt, I reiterated that I needed to be referred to the crisis team this weekend, they listened but then when they phoned me back to tell me the arrangements I can only speak to Crisis on the phone :-(

I simply don’t think that’s going to be enough!

How are you doing OP? X

Struggling - the thoughts are so strong and I keep having panic attacks, I don’t know what else to try :-(

Phoned the crisis team for my promised telephone support to get told ‘there must be something you haven’t tried’ and he put the phone down

I couldn’t have been more explicit about what I wanted to do, I give up!

Hey OP- where are you at now?

I'm very disappointed that any service is hanging up like that- I think you should make a complaint through PALS. When you have the energy/motivation to ofc x

I’m really not coping tonight, planning things I shouldn’t be planning and coming up with the most destructive ways to self harm

Spoken to them again and it was a little better but they just so clearly want me off the phone as soon as possible

I have no idea how I can last the weekend

Do you want to go into hospital for treatment? If so- I recommend you call the police and get yourself detained on a 136. Then at least you would get some meds sorted before you are discharged .

My love I'm so sorry to hear this is such an uphill struggle. Purple frames has some good advice. I'm sorry, I wish I was able to help give you some peace and coping strategies. What support could they offer you that would help hun xx

I don’t really want hospital, I just want some decent intensive support in the community

It seems it’s not there though, nothing is

What kind of intensive support struggling??? Just trying to work out how we can support you or help

Have you eaten today xx

Seeing the crisis team, or the community team anyone tbh

I can’t do this on my own

I ate most of a ready meal but that was a struggle 😕

Hey, struggle or not, it's still progress . We (on this thread) would love you to try your best to look after yourself so eating is good xx

Food is one thing, no insulin or blood sugars though 😕

Well I wondered that but didn't want to ask you too many questions or make you feel under pressure. I wonder how the lack of insulin affects you physically??? I'm thinking out loud, I know the basics, but not the ins and outs. You said before that the propranolol helped when you take it on an ongoing basis, is this something you're trying now or would consider (of course I can't give medical advice, I just remembered you saying that. You said it helps being in your system rather than taking as needed ). Also I know you've finished watching silent witness and call the midwife, but might you consider starting either show over again? I call this comfort tv. I wrap myself in a blanket (to ground myself) and watch something I know so I don't have to pay attention to every single second. Charlie and the chocolate factory is one of those films for me. The old one of course, none of this jonny Depp nonsense. It's a real struggle to make myself lie down when anxiety is high but I agree with myself to try for 15 minutes then usually stay longer. I love a good fluffy blanket and seem to like the fluffy part on my face. Sometimes I feel like such a kid 😂xx

Hi OP, glad to see you here, I popped into one of your other threads but then it had been deleted when I went back to it, I didn’t really understand why. I’ve been thinking about you in the meantime and wondering how you are.

Well done on eating something. I know it’s only part of the equation, but it’s one thing you have managed.

I should be asleep and will try in a minute. I’m a bit jet lagged because I was away last week and I don’t seem to be readjusting fully.

I haven't been on your thread before, I just clicked onto it as it appeared in active and I read through. What lovely supportive posters that have rallied round you, it's quite moving. You sound like a really caring and wonderful person yourself too OP.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling to this extent, it can just be so all-consuming when you're trapped in your own head can't it . As truly dreadful as the mental health people in your area sound, please don't feel people don't care. People here really do, it's palpable.

Myshitisreal i wasn't a fan of the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory either when it came out, then I watched it recently and re-read the book and was shocked to realise its more true to the original story that the Gene Wilder one. Depp just isn't Willy Wonka though!

Did you ever watch Jonathan Creek OP (silly murder mystery detective show starring Alan Davies from QI)? I recently went through all the episodes of that on YouTube - might be a good distraction.

I hope and pray you can feel some peace in yourself tonight. Sleep deprivation is dreadful for aggravating anxiety and depression, but it's a real catch 22 if you can't sleep...