Parents of anxious kids/teens support thread(part three)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Filling up a second thread,here's a new one to keep that support running!

This thread is a supportive,non judgemental space for those who have anxious children,or care for children with anxiety

You can pop in and just offload,or stick with us and share ideas etc

Caring for an anxious child can feel like it dominates your existence and drains every last drop of energy you have,and the sadness of watching your child's distress can be overwhelming.only those who have lived it truly understand that

We also love to hear successes.it can be hard in real life sharing something you are proud of your child achieving if others do it as standard.we get that and it's good to have somewhere where people are pleased for those little wins

You are no longer alone

I hope the appointment goes well.

Whether or not the psychiatrist will speak to you depends. Make it known at the start of the appointment you wish to speak to them once DS has finished, otherwise they may finish the call after DS has spoken to them. Unfortunately, if DS doesn't want you involved in his care unless he lacks capacity CAMHS won't discuss anything with you.

Questions to ask depending on what you/DS want out of the appointment and what is discussed:
What is you name? - Always helps when discussing with other professionals and when you want to contact CAMHS.
What is the plan going forward?
When will that happen?
When will the next appointment be?
What diagnosis/es are you considering?
How can I contact you if I have further questions?
Medication? - side effects, dosage titration, alternative types.
Therapy? Different types? - pros/cons of each.
What is the next step if the plan/therapy/medication doesn't work?
If you don't already have the details, how do I contact the crisis team?
DS often does X what should I do when that happens?
How should I deal with Y?

Legally DS has to remain in education or training until 18. A couple of GCSEs wouldn't satisfy that requirement. However, no one is going to chase him.

Practically, you would need to find an online provider. Consider what exam boards and options within specifications they use because they may not be the same ones DS has studied. Not all providers offer 1 year GCSE courses, so you will need to find one that does. Depending on the provider you may need to find an exam centre willing to accept external candidates.

If you get Child Benefit that will stop, because it is only paid post 16 if EHE began prior to 16 or (recent change) they have an EHCP.

However all that is mute if you apply for an EHCNA, as you should.

Oh dear, I should really proof read my posts before posting, moot point rather than mute. .

I have had a really unproductive day. I am exhausted.

skip what an awful experience.hows D's now?
Things are continuing to to rapidly deteriorate here.tbink may to g consultation line Monday asking when D's likely get medic app.its been 2weeks si CE was agreed she could have one...

day I'm ok actually.i know even if she had sat exams it's still only a whatever will be will be situation.i can't change whatever grades she is awarded,my job now is to support next steps.do I think she's going to pass?no idea.english likely be good grade.maths and science,could fail.history depends how it's calculated as threw 2 mocks as so anxious she had massive panic attacks and forgot everything scoring 2 and 3 respectively.third one got àn 8.was on target to pass.others are uncertain too based on mocks Vs target and coursework.if she fails get good enough grades can't do subjects had planned for 6th form.we will then need go speak to school.i have faith in their unwavered support to guide us in what to do next if necessary.from a parent perspective,I'm ready.ive a home spa planned for Friday/sat and craft activities plus meals are planned to be simple favourites.theres not a lot else I feel I can do tbh except listen,hug if allowed and continue to remind her I love her no matter what

Zoo I hope you get somewhere with CAMHS. I think your attitude to GCSE results is really helpful. There is nothing you can do at this point to change things. Your last line reminds me of Debi Gliori's book 'No Matter What'. We have an ottoman engraved with a couple of lines and DD1's name.

Day sorry DD is struggling too. No one expects you to have all the answers. There is support out there but you have to fight for it. If DD and DS are DTs having multiples is hard, understatement, especially when one is happy and the other(s) not. Their relationship is different to singletons, more complex. Everyone compares them from before they are even born, no matter how much you personally don't and try to nip it in the bud.

DS is OK, clingy, but OK. The police and MH nurse were brilliant with him. He isn't their usual clientele. I am expecting a call from social care during the week because a referral has to be made. Which is absolutely fine, it's just procedure, and DS1&3 already have disabled children's social workers. But we haven't been able to use all their direct payments since March, particularly DS1's.

If DH hadn't been on an important call I would have left DS' at home, but getting to the bank was urgent. I should have anticipated it being busier. DS2&3 could have stayed with DD2 but DS1 would have wanted to stay too and explaining why he couldn't would have opened a can of worms guaranteed bound to end in tears of all 3 DS'.

Sorry for the rambling post. Feel free to ignore.

Of course I don't mind you PM'ing me, I will reply now.

I hope the news that teacher assessed grades are going to be used eases yours and Zoo's anxiety somewhat.

day this is it my love,last night til results!dd2 is now at nervous wreck stage,I think it's going to be a looooong night!
We are able to access results via her school email account at 8am tom.
Sending lots strength for tonight and tomorrow

day 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Ours were in at 8
Passed everything,even maths(only a 4,but that's still beyond what we expected) on form she could've got higher I believe in many subjects,but it's enough to secure history and english.psychology needed 5 pass in maths,so need check if she's still eligible

daysame¡
Next up.try get them back to school

Well we've been told categorically no.she needed a 5 in eng Lang or lit and 5 in maths.got 7s in lit and Lang and 4 maths.
She's gone from jubilant passed everything to very low and upset as was one thing she wanted to do was psychology.shes even done all the summer a level work set.heartbreaking
Need go into school Monday and pick another option.theres nothing else she really was keen on think getting her to engage come sept is going to be a very very very hard battle