This corona virus is sending me over the edge

[brainfogg]

I know no one can tell me it will be ok but I haven’t had anxiety this out of control in about a year. It’s been managed fairly well with meds and I haven’t had any OCD symptoms in ages but it’s all coming back.

I’m washing my hands obsessively, using lots of hand gel, checking the news every 20 mins, not sleeping, last night when DH got back from shopping I wiped every single item with antibacterial spray. Never don’t that before.

My heart is racing constantly, I’m not getting on with things I need to do, I’m debating ordering masks but read they don’t do much. So then I’m thinking get my immune system stronger but what if it mutates into a virus that causes that overreaction of the immune system? Cykotine storm I think. So maybe I’m better not strengthening it too much.

I have a part time job that involves looking after children and am thinking I shouldn’t go because I’m scared I’ll pass it to them or them to me but we need the money.

Sorry for the very long post. I’m in turmoil and I hate that because it’s so selfish of me, there’s people truly suffering and I genuinely want them not to be. I find this world very hard to cope with.

Might help though does help with a few suggestions. Why not use this opportunity to get healthy ? One way of looking at things.

Rather than constant hand washing at home why not rub in hand cream.

Write down your problems down. In one column the issue and then you write the solution in another. Access your wisdom.

Sending hugs to you Dobby, I know that feeling of doom and it’s very suffocating. I really feel for you, sounds like it’s been an especially bad day today. The only thing I thought earlier is at least we’re not alone going through this whole thing, it’s pretty much the entire world! So it’s a universal fear amongst many people probably. I just think to myself I’m grateful we’re here in the UK I feel so anxious for those in countries with awful healthcare systems.

@SlayB thank you so much for sharing that video I’m going to watch that in bed. Yes I’m going to try your suggestions as well and try to look at this as a chance to be healthier, I’ve already stepped up my cleaning at home as with my depression I struggle to do jobs and will sometimes think I’ll just leave it til tomorrow but recently I’ve been very stringent with getting stuff done. So yes there are positives here.

Thanks brainfogg. It’s so up and down. Today I’ve been reassuring a work colleague who was on the ceiling with it, and a friend who is very anxious.

I’m trying to stay outside in the fresh air and not listen too much to the news. Easier said than done.

That’s nice of you to reassure your colleagues, I guess it probably helped you see it from a different point of view maybe? As you had to focus on the positives.

Have you noticed that you’re thinking about all of this a LOT? I’ve noticed it’s on my mind all the bloody time! It’s horrible and like a cloud hanging over me.
Had to go to Asda today unfortunately and was feeling calm until a lady walked towards me in the aisle, she waited til she was right next to me then coughed, very loudly, which she might not have been able to help, but she made zero attempt to cover her mouth at all. With people like this I despair! It really upset me. Ah well at least the new cases are quite low today

It is really hard to see the headlines and not freak out. I am struggling with it too, it's making me shake with panic at times (usually if I perceive a significant change), and become quite introverted and stressed out. I probably need some medication to help me through the next few months but I really don't want to visit the GP surgery. My colleagues and other half are quite calm about and I wish I could transform my thinking to their point of view.

@marmitelover13 sending some hugs to you 💕 I would urge you to call the GP surgery and ask about the possibility of some medication to help with this, believe me I’m the last person to advise meds as a solution but I feel there could be a bit of a long road ahead and those of us who are very anxious may need something to get us through.

I dread to think how I’d be if I didn’t have my antidepressants and beta blockers. Just give them a call and explain how it’s affecting you. I understand the shaking and have been experiencing that a lot too recently.

I relate as well to the feeling of being alone with this, not having family members who truly get it. It’s so frustrating isn’t it. It’s so good at least that we have places like this online to express our thoughts and have some solidarity.

Try to think of some small ways of caring for your well being during all of this, even just a few minutes a day to have some kind of mental escape from it.

Just seen that the cases have shot up to 85. I know this was expected but I wanted to burst into tears. I need to get a grip. I think I am reacting badly as my life is generally quite stressful at the moment and coronavirus worry is the cherry on top of it!

That’s the total number. Remember some of those have recovered and are home. It’s not 85 new cases. This is from the beginning. Some are from the diamond princess.

I just wish i was normal. My daughter rash faded greatly now its flared up again im generally feeling so low about this. Why is it affecting me so much. Its the fear of unknown reckon i hate how it makes me feel sick and not appetite. Cant sit and enjoy anything its always there in back of my head. Wish i had a dermotologist in the family. Skin things seem ti be my Enemy

Dont beat yourself up. I know this is trite but there is truth in the physical/mental health analogy. If you had a tendency to dislocate your shoulder you wouldn’t feel guilty if it happened again and again. This is the same xxx

@DobbyTheHouseElk ugh i feel the same. I use hand gel all the time and constantly clean. And now dealing with my toddlers rash is tipping me over the edge. I feel stupid for feeling like this Its been an exhausting few weeks and now a case is near us in glasgow. Wish they stopped all flights in and out 😥. To be honest her rash scares me more than corona right now 😭

It's really making me ill with worry . I had my baby in January and honestly before him I wouldn't have given a shit about myself and wouldn't be thinking about it but he changes everything

DH thinks I'm being paranoid . I got some funny looks when I asked him to wash his hands and clean his phone as soon as he came home last night but his personal hygiene isn't always the best to begin with and it's common sense even without this virus .

My dh is used to me with this stuff but i must be hard work and draining. Especially when my anxiety gets to the point it is today i feel so alone

@Danigirl02002

What’s wrong with your toddler? Has the GP seen the rash? Is it a reaction to the cold weather and hot houses?

If you are at home you don’t need hand gel. Washing with soap and water is better. Put some cream on your hands and keep them moisturised.

One doc said fungal then another who specialises in dermotolgy said a form ezcema and by this point few days with steriods it faded greatly but last few days flared up in different place round same area. So went back to docs yesterday she thinks fungal and seems worse today. She gave me fungal cream with steriods which i believe steriods can make fungal worse. I just want to know what it is. NOt the guessing game. An actual answer. Rash and things that spread send me into panic cleaning mode. Its horirble

That’s worrying for you, but toddlers do get weird things. If it’s fungal it might smell funny. I’d assume eczema at the time of year. Keep putting cream on it.

My DC get eczema this time of year and it always clears up when the weather changes.

Its all the different docs telling me different things. I just want it gone 😥. She has mild ezcema flares ur very rarely. Looks nothing like it. Doc though was a type that gave tiny spots but iv seen pictures and mostly ment to be on soles and its not. Considering private appointment

Its how its making me feel thats the worst part i cant control it. I feel awful for how i feel like im so silly 😥

Can you speak to your HV for advice and tell her how it’s affecting you?

Iv recently changed doctors so waiting in a new health visitor. But i am making an appointment with this new doc next week to discuss it. I want to try cbt. I cannot live like this 😥 hard to talk to people cause i feel like an absolute idiot and failure as a mother

You are non of those things Dani
It's an awful awful feeling and some people just don't understand
I keep feeling sick and shaky with worry and this overwhelming feeling of dread . I'm just so worried about my baby . Honestly before he came along I didn't give a shit about my own health and now I'm worried sick

Dani you aren’t a failure or an idiot.

When my DC were little, someone said to me. Bad mother’s don’t worry or think they are failing. Only good mothers worry!!

If you have a GP. Call the surgery today, ask for the number for the HV and how to contact them. Children under 5 are under the HV. Call them today and ask for help. They won’t think you are anything other than a normal concerned parent.

Please.

I have an appointment at 4 with her for the gp to see it again and hopefully get the right treatment this time. I think what i have is bad health anxiety. Im generaly ok but that doubt is always back there. Then something happens and boom im back to constant googling. Sitting on edge all day fearing to look at it again incase its spread. The bad mother feelings creep in because i feel like running away and when im like this one part me doesnt even want be here but i know i would never do anything because of my kids. Its horrible feeling. Im that bad a got my 1st proper cold sore last week with stress im guessing 😥

You are not alone or a bad mum Dani. Keep talking. We are all here for you. Your baby will be well looked after by you. Don’t neglect yourself. X