This corona virus is sending me over the edge

[brainfogg]

I know no one can tell me it will be ok but I haven’t had anxiety this out of control in about a year. It’s been managed fairly well with meds and I haven’t had any OCD symptoms in ages but it’s all coming back.

I’m washing my hands obsessively, using lots of hand gel, checking the news every 20 mins, not sleeping, last night when DH got back from shopping I wiped every single item with antibacterial spray. Never don’t that before.

My heart is racing constantly, I’m not getting on with things I need to do, I’m debating ordering masks but read they don’t do much. So then I’m thinking get my immune system stronger but what if it mutates into a virus that causes that overreaction of the immune system? Cykotine storm I think. So maybe I’m better not strengthening it too much.

I have a part time job that involves looking after children and am thinking I shouldn’t go because I’m scared I’ll pass it to them or them to me but we need the money.

Sorry for the very long post. I’m in turmoil and I hate that because it’s so selfish of me, there’s people truly suffering and I genuinely want them not to be. I find this world very hard to cope with.

I tried calling my doctor the other day. I recently changed doctors on recomendation so shes on anual leave. Back on the 13th march. I am going to refer myself for cbt. This has got to much out of hand. And i do not wish to pass this onto my kids. I no longer enjoy alot of things. Even holidays Using towels shared etc. Freaks me out 😥

@OneOfTheGrundys I am trying to do this but the problem is that food is helping me to feel calmer and if I take away the nice things I like, chocolate etc then I’m just feeling so depressed. But you’re right it does give a sense of control so will try to exercise more maybe.

@Danigirl02002 yes please do try to get some cbt, I hope it helps you. Sending lots of hugs your way, I understand completely this constant state of fear and it’s soul destroying isn’t it? It would almost be nicer to be someone who doesn’t care about this at all but then I’ve read some things saying the people who are literally oblivious to it will most likely have a shock when the shit hits the fan, so maybe it’s best to be like us after all?! 😁

I’m not coping. This is taking over my life now and I know I must be really annoying to anyone reading. No one can make this go away. No one can medicate this away. We can’t just ‘refuse’ to let it stop us living our lives, like we hear about other things that disrupt our lives. Why did I ever think life was this beautiful thing , the illusion has well and truly shatttered now. We are random, humans are random and we’re brought up as a society to think we have the right to a planned out convenient life.

Things like this will turn that notion on its head! We’re just vulnerable animals ultimately, we just think too much for our own good. Sorry to be so dark it’s just all dawning on me. I’m exhausted from washing my hands so much they have eczema and disinfecting products from shops, cancelling plans with people I love to see, not planning anything nice, fretting about the slightest symptom any of us get, reading about death rates constantly. Just wanted to vent anyway.

Sweetheart, I think you might be having a breakdown. You're spiralling with irrational thoughts.

Is there a mental health crisis centre near you that you can go to?

If you're a healthy woman between 18 and 65 you're almost 100% likely to be just fine even IF (and it's unlikely) you did get the virus.

It's just a normal respiratory virus that we haven't seen before - the people dying are old, young or have conditions already.

13 out of 66million Brits have got it and most have connections with China or have travelled. None have yet died.

You need to go get some help because spiralling into panic and extreme thoughts like you're having is evidence of a crisis.

All the best to you, you'll be physically fine.

I have recovered from ocd and one thing you have to remember is that a lot of your actions are about controlling the anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Eg checking the news every 20mins, washing hands excessively gets rid of the moment of doubt but perpetuates the panic.

I would talk to your GP (on the phone if you don't want to go in) and ask for help with the anxiety but also make a plan for what they think is reasonable and what is not and try to stick to it. Eg check the gov website once/twice a day, don't check the news, wash your hands in x and y circumstances etc.

If I'm unsure about something I try to picture one of my most level headed friends and think would she do x in this circumstance. Ie is she checking the news every 20min - probably not

@CorianderLord thanks I appreciate your reply a lot, I can’t phone the psychiatry department crisis line I’ve done that before during extreme anxiety and they just told me to do breathing exercises which actually don’t really help my thoughts much.

If health professionals like virologists and reps from the WHO were being optimistic about it then I’d be a lot calmer, but I’ve read some quotes on the WHO website which are far from reassuring. I keep thinking, even the plague had only 13 cases at one stage, it doesn’t just go straight to thousands, it builds and that what’s happening.

I’m in my late thirties but worry I’ve got undiagnosed conditions as part of my health anxiety and this is making me think I’m in an at-risk group it’s like torture tbh at the moment, I can’t look forward to anything.

@sadforthekoalas thank you 💗 Going to try the drs tomorrow but honestly the way the nhs is at the moment and about to be overwhelmed, they don’t need me banging on about my issues and I just feel I’m being selfish when there’s bigger fish to fry if that makes sense ? I just need to deal with this hour by hour, or actually minute by minute right now. I can’t even have a drink as this lowers immune system. I don’t drink often only every 6 months but I’d love one glass tonight.

Also about the friend’s point of view- yes my most level headed friends and family would be and are nothing like I’m being. Thanks for sharing your experience of your ocd also.

brainfogg

Have you ever known anyone die of flu? In the UK, our survival rate is likely to be more like the flu due to us having better health care and living conditions.

China has a population of 1.386 billion.

It has 78,514 cases.and they have shown promise in slowing its growth. It took since at least the end of December when it was first reported to spread to that number. Its still a really small percentage of its population!

Some local schools have shut due to kids coming home from Italy and attending school on Monday. Government advice changed on Tuesday AM to isolate if you've been through northern Italy. So schools have shut to deep clean, I think that's such a good move and will be vital in reducing the spread, not just in schools but as offices and other places follow suit.

Italy has a population of 60.48 million

It has 400 cases and this is being pushed in the media as a massive outbreak.

Thanks @RapidRainbow I appreciate you being so kind as to post, even just a few words of comfort are everything right now.

I think it may be because I’m reading the prepping threads on here plus Reddit where it seems a lot more real and sobering. But I can’t go on like this, my heart is constantly racing lately, I’m having nightmares about illnesses and dying and I’m shaking a lot I’ve noticed. Yes the schools shutting and cleaning is a good thing, just can’t help feeling it won’t make much difference as it’s only a few of them. We maybe need to do what China did but that won’t happen here probably.

Someone has just shared this article on Facebook. Eye opening, in a good way!

bay.com.mt/coronavirus-in-numbers-and-why-we-really-shouldnt-panic/

Thank you Rapid...I could cry. In fact I will cry I’m sure. It really does help looking at things in that way and I do feel calmer. That’s so nice of you to send me that.

I'm OK with things but occasionally feel a little worried then I re-read the Positive Mental Health Coronavirus thread I made and that helps me. Plus remembering the numbers always puts things in a better perspective and this article really does that well.

How is everyone today?

I’m just feeling very weird mentally today, haven’t even got dressed and every movement is too much effort even getting a drink. No motivation at all to do anything, the more I read about this the more low I feel. Bit of a contrast to yesterday I don’t feel that anxious just so incredibly sad and want to sit and cry. Thanks for asking @OneOfTheGrundys

I’m feeling calm one week and the next I’m in a state of terror. The news reports are frightening and all the masks and hazmat suits are something of nightmares.

It is better to stop looking at the news. Also some threads on here are truly bonkers.

Hoping you feel better soon, I’m not great, but I think if we all boost each other maybe we can feel better about this situation.

Oh just replied to your last comment on the positive thread Dobby! Yes it’s scary seeing the hazmat suits isn’t it. I know what you mean, sometimes it’s not too bad but then it suddenly feels frightening. I’d be so interested to study people’s reactions to this from a psychology point of view. Why do some just have zero concerns and others react like us?

Thank you, I think talking to others who feel similar definitely helps.

My SIL says it’s only flu and it’s not worth worrying over. If it’s only flu why are so many people in hazmat suits?

Yesterday I was at work and no one was a bit bothered about it. They sort of said “oh yes, I’d heard something about that”.

Wish I could relax like them. I’m not elderly, I don’t have other underlying illnesses, so theoretically I’m ok.

Wow your sil sounds typical of so many people, in fact some even say it’s a mild version of the flu which is just ridiculous! I’ve read an awful lot about the whole situation and have been following it since the story broke, and I find that the people who are most likely to brush it off are the ones who haven’t really done any research at all.

I think it’s human to worry that something may shake our world and might hurt us. And we may not be elderly or have health conditions but I expect you know someone who is/does and so it would be more weird not to care!! That’s my take on it anyway, it’s just hard when it takes over our mind and it’s all we think about

Pandemic has been made into entertainment in films/tv and its those conceptions of what it is or looks like that Are frightening. The media images widely broadcast are those that correspond to the 28 Days Later/I am Legend vibes.
The reality of a pandemic may be less extreme and dramatic. And less frightening?

True yes, everything seems much more intense and dramatic when made into a film or show - childbirth is a good example of this.
But this does feel so scary to me, and honestly some of the China footage I’ve unfortunately watched has seemed straight out of a disaster film so I’m struggling to downplay the drama in my mind.

I think a lot of the problem is that we see dramatic footage from China. Our government tells us it’s fine. No more information apart from hand washing.

We don’t actually know what to do, or believe.

I’m finding staying busy and not watching the news helps me. But as soon as I see a news bulletin, I’m back to terror again. My back is so painful today as I’m so so tense.

Hi Dobby, I know exactly what you mean there about being fine for a while then check the news and it’s like an adrenaline surge and heart racing. Yeah it’s weird the government telling us all is fine, I don’t think that’s helping actually but it’s obvious they’re trying to prevent panic. It would also help if they were more upfront about this not just being the flu as well, there’s so many people who even call it ‘Asian flu’ which makes it sound familiar.

Hi brain
I have decided not to watch the news now. It’s not helping me. I feel sick with it all. I’ve had nightmares about people in hazmat suits coming to take my cat.

I can’t live with the anxiety. I have ocd anyway and live in fear of contamination. I use hand gel every time I got out. I can’t do anymore than I’m already doing.

The sense of impending doom is horrific and I don’t want to live like it. All I want is to be safe and enjoy my life.

I’ve been feeling like crying and overwhelmed today, trying to stay upbeat on the outside.