Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Lost all hope.

140 replies

Lostthepointoflife · 15/05/2019 20:37

Posting here as a last resort. No one cares about me anymore. I can’t talk to my parents. I don’t want to bother my friends anymore with my problems.

I’m falling behind at school. My anxiety keeps worsening, my panic attacks are getting worse. I can’t stop harming myself. Tried counselling but given up. Everyone’s getting tired of me and I don’t want to bother anyone anymore.

Anxiety is worsening, depression is worsening, panic attacks are getting stronger. I can’t go on antidepressants as too young. No one will care anymore if I go. There’s nothing I want to do more than just end it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 19/05/2019 19:41

@cakeandchampagne it certainly will be. Hopefully it’ll be this week

OP posts:
Blessthekids · 19/05/2019 22:52

I'm sorry to hear about your mum's attitude. I agree that it could be because she is afraid and does not know how to deal with the situation although to be honest that still doesn't help you. I think you are right and its best to focus on yourself right now. I hope you find more sympathetic ear at the GP's.

Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 20/05/2019 19:57

Hopefully my appointment is tomorrow!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 20/05/2019 19:58

Also does anyone know if a resting heart rate of approx 95-110 (it keeps changing!) is normal? Not panicky or anything but my watch says it’s high.

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 20/05/2019 21:20

Your age, level of fitness, size, etc. are factors in heart rate. Are you feeling ill?

Blessthekids · 20/05/2019 22:05

Best to ask your GP about that as cake says it depends on a lot of factors so don't rely on a watch or the internet to give you a proper answer.

cakeandchampagne · 20/05/2019 22:10

How are you doing now?
Did you have some new or extra stress today?

bluebell34567 · 20/05/2019 23:08

resting heart rate of 95 is high as far as i know.
you need to relax and adjust your breathing.
be careful with what you eat, drink (salt-coffee, etc.)
ask to gp tomorrow what to do about it.
good job you have apt tomorrow.

Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 11:37

Had my gp appointment. I’ve been referred to CAMHS and they might try medication (but are reluctant-getting a call back tmrw). Having blood test on Thursday

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 21/05/2019 12:00

I hope your GP was kind to you.
Star You’ve done a very good job getting some help started.

Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 21:39

He was good with it I suppose

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 21:41

I’ve now lost motivation in everything. overwhelmed with something I’ve recently been informed of. Just want to end things. Just want to sleep and not wake up

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 21/05/2019 21:53

Your vague bad news- is it something you should have known sooner?

Blessthekids · 21/05/2019 22:50

One step at a time. Seeing your GP is a good start and hopefully, you can start counselling again. Get some rest now and when you wake up take one more step. Please remember it takes time to get better, it won't be quick but it will be worth it. I'm rooting for you.

bluebell34567 · 21/05/2019 22:52

i dont think its bad news. it means whatever it is it will be diagnosed and you can get treatment for it and not suffer anymore.
i think it is very good news for you.

Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 22:57

The bad news isn’t exactly about me. It’s about a friend of mine. I don’t know what camhs are going to do, but overall I don’t want to go back to counselling. I can hear my parents arguing about me outside right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 23:03

The bad news isn’t exactly about me. It’s about a friend of mine. I don’t know what camhs are going to do, but overall I don’t want to go back to counselling. I can hear my parents arguing about me outside right now.

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 21/05/2019 23:04

Sorry you are hearing the argument- you don’t need the stress.

bluebell34567 · 21/05/2019 23:05

you can tell them you dont want counselling.

cakeandchampagne · 21/05/2019 23:06

Did you feel like the counselor didn’t understand? Or were they try to talk about seemingly unrelated things?

Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 23:14

I just found that TALKING things out didn’t really help. They kinda tried to talk about unrelated things too (I had in school counselling September 2017 then out of school counselling jan-May 2019). I just find when I’m upset I physically can’t talk, unless it’s with someone I 1000% trust.

As for posting here; I find typing things easier than talking as there’s no way I can break mid sentence

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostthepointoflife · 21/05/2019 23:17

I don’t think they (my parents) understand how bad I really am right now. As far as they’re concerned, it’s just self harm and panic attacks at school (according to them I don’t have panic attacks at home Hmm [i often do]).

I don’t think they realise that I want to end it all, I’ve tried talking to them about it. I can’t talk to them at all and they just keep getting annoyed with me

OP posts:
bluebell34567 · 21/05/2019 23:31

i think they might be scared to accept things are not that good. they may not have the strength but they have to face it.

cakeandchampagne · 21/05/2019 23:48

Well, if they accept the truth about the problems, they would have to think about their own actions or inaction.

How can they not believe you have panic attacks at home? Do they think you are acting?

bluebell34567 · 22/05/2019 11:25

'Well, if they accept the truth about the problems, they would have to think about their own actions or inaction. '
thats very true cakeandchampagne.