Parents of anxious kids/teens support thread(part 2)

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi everyone
Our original thread filled up fairly fast so I'm offering a second one
Anyone who cares for a child/teen with anxiety can join us as a comment,or hang around
Post your worries,your tips,ask for advice,rant about your day -we understand
Also feel free to share any small victories

Viking until the next crisis definitely keep him there!!
Pm me anytime

Camhs went well.our vicar has contacted them as D's hasn't felt up to church for a while,nor wellbeing.its been agreed he will have alternating session at usual venue and at church to increase his time there (probably on edge of wellbeing group) and as o.t concerned his world is becoming very small and rigid it will increase the spent around others.added bonus is it's visible from our garden gate so n time he may be able to bring himself home(I just drop him there) and regain a bit of independence as he currently has none anymore

That's great Zoo - a very postive arrangement for DS. And the vicar sounds like a good advocate for him!

She is lovely Viking,but I think the whole congregation have a bit of a soft spot for my kids as it was an elderly community with no youngsters when mine saw a sign outside for Sunday school and begged to go.within 6months all were christened into the church(DP had said once they were old enough it was their choice,rather than as babies as I had wanted)and have been part of their community ever since.dd2 worked in the community cafe from 10-13 years regularly(at least 2saturdays a month wait tables and wash up initially.always from 8am-2pm,which was a choice as it's voluntary,not paid)they are all confirmed there,as was I,and until D's got so Ill sang in the children's choir that started up when they learned my kids could sing!
I'm very pleased we now how a thriving Sunday school of around 10 kids and the choir has gone from my three(who no longer sing as girls won't without D's) to two pews full
Tomorrow they doing a local litter pick aiming to get as many young people involved as possible.im hoping to take D's along,even for a few minutes as he loves nature and gets lot pleasure using litter pickers to clear the bushes near church as good opportunity to gaze at insects etc!!

How did the litter picking go Zoo? It's so wonderful how the Dcs came to be a part of your church's community. Well done !!

Struggling with scorching temps the last few days. Supposed to cool down overnight...as I keep looking at hourly weather forecast. Can't come fast enough!!

We are at 20oc in day,lovely cool breezeViking
He manage 2 minutes of litter picking,then traffic got too much,after that we did about 30 helping sweep up trimmed foliage and weeding in church garden.he really enjoyed that❤️

ooh good for him Zoo! .
On another note, can I ask how his appetite has been lately? My DCs are very slim as well and it concerns me they are so picky with food tastes and textures. Eldest is more open to trying different things but sometimes forgets to eat when he's immersed in something (laptop, Nintendo).

Viking he's about 5ft tall and currently weighs in at 5st 2(his little sister is an inch taller and over a stone heavier)he has fits and starts with food.doesnt like very chewy things(dry fruit/chewy meat etc) but loves milky things(custard,rice pud,yogurt etc) and bananas are his absolute favourite.he won't eat,or only a little if he feels very hot/anxious,and as day wears on this seems to worsen.i try to push big breakfast and lunch to balance his needs for a huge amount of calories needed to at least maintain weight.breakfast he has cereal with full fat milk,yogurt and a banana/other fruit.if he's in the mood sometimes I add some sunflower seeds.lunch favourite at mo is tuna mixed with a whole mashed avocado in two rolls along with a bag of crisps.last night he only wanted couple crackers and a little cheese with few grapes for dinner.....I try to push him to eat mid morning snack,even if it's just a biscuit or chocolate bar.by the time we have returned from collecting his little sister from school(4pm) he's already revving up nighttime panic and starts shutting down on food
I got a text last night from vicar saying she's getting clay out at wellbeing if D's is interested today I've not been able to get him to go past couple weeks.will try again today!

Took D's wellbeing today.vicar had clay out so he sat with her making little dinosaurs and j slid into a little room on side of hall to do guided meditation..he managed to sit chatting for the full 15 minutes,which did us both good i felt.we stayed nearly 90 mins in total(he plays with a beautiful cockerpoo dog that comes along) as well as doing clay.im glad we went,sometimes it can feel very suffocating being together 24/7

Zoo - I'm impressed that he likes a nice variety of healthy food. My DCs hate avocado and yogurt. DC2 is quite limited in what he eats at the moment - and it's so carb-y. I feel guilty for giving in but he needs calories. So I insist he take a daily multivitamin.
Sounds like you both had a good day today

Lost you again. Not sure why it does not come up in I'm On
to all. I have to see eldest in a play so DH is babysitting (me: it's not babysitting when they're your kids). Back to thread later x

Viking carbs are energy providers,necessary for those with anxiety to keep them going!!

I am LIVID as had a call from child services today...D's school have reported concerns about D's including rapid weightloss(erm he's been having minor gains since January actually)isolation/disengaging from services(we have missed ONE camhs app,which I rang in to apologise early in the day as youngest was unwell and it couldn't get anyone to sit with her as dad was working shifts)we aren't involved anyone else and D's attends wellbeing when he feels up to it and camera club at local nature reserve when he can manage that too.lastly they criticised my MH as unstable.well,as you have seen him ONCE in 6months less than four weeks ago for a safe guarding visit we passed as satisfactory I've NO IDEA why they reported us
There were questions about my girls attendance (dd2 has 97.8%,so I said by all means contact her school)
They rang me later in the day saying dd2 school gave no concerns,camhs have none either and D's school haven't responded to calls/emails

Welcome back Rage .

Zoo - omg please keep us posted when you have time. What on earth is going on with this school?! In my opinion they have been so unhelpful since the beginning, and this is the last thing you need. I'm just hopeful you and DS get the support you need very soon! xx

Hi viking thank you lovely
Oh zoo I am so so and for you. I just don't understand what is going on with education in the UK right now, the more I read, the more despondent I feel.
I am also shitting myself, pardon the French, that making the decision to come back to the UK is the wrong one. I am due back next month but I am panicking right now.
My eldest did really well in her play which was heartening. She is the one I am having to leave behind Sophie's Choice style with her father - she has passed the year to be able to do German A-level but not passed Maths well enough to be able to do A-levels in the UK (minimum grade 4 needed, assume C equivalent but Naric would translate her maths as unsatisfactory. In Germany they will let her to do her Abi regardless. It's complicated).
My middle daughter, the only one I worry about less in either system, is being relatively calm about moving to England, a few nerves about making new friends but otherwise okay even though she knows it means being in contact with Dad and sister by skype.
My son on the other hand has no real concept of time, agrees that he would prefer English school to German school, but asks how many sleeps it will be until Daddy comes over for a visit. My heart is breaking just writing that.

Rage I don't have the words to describe how those words pulled at me.group hug and lovely.is it August you are returning?
Viking I've cried on and off all afternoon.O.T always talks like she is sugar coating for a child.she has no major concerns other than I am a worry case I crack and my MH dissolves based on fact I do it alone.everyone else has varying opinions.i cannot help but feel like they don't have my back but have the knives out for it."d"p is no emotional support and has been here since yesterday morning.he slept 2pm-7am today and then has cheek to go bed at 730 pm as he's tired!!I was up 3x with D's and am feeling so angry and resentful don't even want be in same room as him....

Huge hug back zoo, yes, back in August. I think I've forgotten what's like not feeling angry and resentful tbh. I didn't used to be this way. I want to put it aside but I can't be the better person right now. I do think the school has stabbed you in the front, absobloodylutely. Perhaps their best form of defence being attack because by the sounds of it they haven't done their part, have they? I hope things get better for you x

ladies .
I'm here to listen so vent away.

Zoo I'm in same mood with DH today. He honestly acts like a child some days. Then I did the worst thing and looked for old flames online - guess I wanted to kick myself even further for the bad choices I made in my youth.

Hi all. We got a diagnosis yesterday. Asd with comorbid anxiety. The psychistrist will send a report in the next two weeks. We arent going to tell dd until we have that information but she knows that there is 'something' and already seems relieved.

The psych said a lot of her anxiety is because she is so clever and knowing she is different. Plus, the sensory issues are so strong.
He has doubled her ADs, will review her in a month and then we think about what therapy is needed.

This guy is amazing. Expensive but amazing because within a month of seeing him we have answers. I sobbed yesterday when we found out through sheer relief and exhaustion.

I hope you are all ok x

I am pleased for you Anne, I hope she also feels relieved and I am pleased for you both that you have been 'heard'. Do let us know what therapies are used and whether they have any noticeable effect.
all round x

Anne great news you have been "heard" and can now plan how to help D's move forward.so pleased for you!!
Please let us know any new techniques you come across and ,of course,continue to chat about progress,life etc

Aw ragevery kind of you to nominate me.
Tbh this thread holds me up probably more than it does those that pass thru asking for advice.
We all need to know we aren't alone when things are going tits up!!

You are welcome zoo - I think even those passing through really appreciate knowing someone else empathizes/knows what it's like, it can be so isolating so thank you love

Do you mind if I vent now?
I am hurting. I spoke with my mum on Friday and we had a row because she doesn't think I should be coming back to the UK at all. I've tried to explain that DS has refused to learn German, would get thrown in a special school with all disabilities together and little chance of qualifications later and that home education is illegal in Germany.
My mum said she couldn't believe I was splitting the family (my own parents got divorced when I was 6 so this comment stuck in my craw). I said I wasn't expecting her to help, she said ''good!'' and slammed the phone down.
My sister had offered to help while I set the house up but is still feuding with my dad (I actually thought they were on speaking terms) and has now said she 'doesn't need to be involved at all' with my return to the UK as my dad/other half can help me.
Dysfunctional. I shouldn't have expected any support. I have been estranged/nc with them at different times over the years. But I stupidly thought we could put any past differences aside as far as my children are concerned.

rage what a crock of shit.talk about pot calling the kettle black if she got divorced and even if hasn't surely anyone can tell you are trying your absolute best for your children(I don't wish to be rude,but if you have had NC over the years my guess is she wasn't able/didn't do that for you)I wish you were "coming home" to east of England/Midlands area

Me too zoo but virtual hugs will have to do
Sending love to you and yours and positive vibes to others on the thread x