Thread for those with adult ADHD or who think they might have ADHD

[Borntobedifferent]

So I've put this into mental health as although it isn't really a mental health issue it tends to be discovered (in adults) when there is other mental health issues.

I've written a few times elsewhere on here about my ADHD but thought it might be nice to have an ongoing thread.

All that i ask is that we focus on adult ADHD as I'm sure there is other threads for those with children with ADHD.

I am nearly a year diagnosed now (I'm 37) and am on Elvanse 40mg and amfexa 5mg first thing in the morning.

I am so on 200mg sertraline and diazepam as by the time I was diagnosed I was just totally broken.

I have a therapist and today I started with an ADHD coach, I have to learn to accept my past and to embrace the positives of ADHD but it's not an easy thing to do.

Can someone link the study please?

I am only starting now to free myself from the chains that were holding me back and change my narrative in my head.

I am also not going to say i have ADHD to people, I'm going to say I have a cognative and executive functioning disorder. Cause guess what, that is what it actually is

I am not stupid, I'm very bright but I am missing the function to use it in a say that is acceptable in this world we live in.

Place marking as I think I have

@ThanksDriver I definitely feel like my ability to read is getting worse as I get older. I read maybe two books in total last year (I have loads on my Kindle, barely started and abandoned) and they were very easy to read, popular type books.

Maybe, in my case, it’s a case of “you don’t use it, you lose it”. I’ve been a SAHM for 7 years and don’t need to focus much anymore. I feel horrified about having to work again. Not because I’m one of those types MNers love to hate (and will inevitably have to face her husband leaving her for a younger model ) it’s because I’m terrified to have those kind of demands/pressures placed on me again. I’m far more content bumbling through life, taking my kids to school/preschool and vaguely keeping the house in order. It’s about as much pressure as I can take. And I’m no domestic goddess, believe me. I manage the basics around a fuckload of procrastination.

Cognitive disorder will mean stupid to some people though. I would just say executive functioning. To be honest I never really explain to people if I want them to take me seriously, I just say oh my memory is really bad, or I'll forget it if it's not in my calendar, or I'm rubbish at time management so let me work it out and get back to you, or I joke about how I'm so organised because otherwise I'd be chronically disorganised except it's not a joke.

If I'm talking to somebody casually and it comes up then I just say I have ADHD and it causes me problems with this or that, but the former is my approach at work. People seem to understand that best.

I do the water example ALL THE TIME. DS1 also mentioned this the other day and said it annoyed him when he does it. The only way to not do it is routine and having set places for the things you need which means it doesn't work for things like a bottle of water you don't need every time. If course that would also probably be more consistent if I remembered to drink enough when at home.

I understand re cognative. I am just so fascinated to learn that it's this part of my brain that is different when it comes to my emotions. So what I feel is not irregular but my lack of being able to suppress it, is.

@born Thank you so much for sharing that link, I've been in touch with them today.

The basic procedure is:

Book online (you can choose the psychiatrist, look up their background/qualifications etc.), minimum 3 days in advance to allow time to complete forms

Fill in three reports before hand (one to be done by someone who has known you since childhood)

One hour appointment, and will be told then if you meet the criteria for formal diagnosis (£300)

You can take this to the GP - some prescribe straight away

Psychiatrists UK offer 4 week 'titration' - building up medication dosage (£25 total cost)

After 4 weeks a review is done and a 'shared care' agreement/report (£125) is sent to you GP who can then start prescribing

Total cost £450

You can continue to get medication through Psychiatrists UK (£25 a month) e.g. if you didn't want the diagnosis on your medical record

Regarding share care, speak to the GP about this.

Every area is different, I am able to get shared care but had to see a psychiatrist on the NHS (just a generic one) who basically just had to tick a form allowing my GP to prescribe my meds.

I'm 42 and it's only in the last six months or so that it has dawned on me that I may have ADHD. Reading this thread is illuminating and depressing - I could have written so many of these posts word for word.

I have dyspraxia, so I've always put some of my traits down to this. Despite me having a child with ADHD (and dyspraxia), it didn't occur to me that I may also be affected, because I've never been hyperactive as such. But the Inattentive bit is me to a T and its caused me so many difficulties in life. I'm also wondering whether it is worth me looking at a diagnosis at my age. Thank you for the info on this, I am going to have a think about it all now (then will probably get distracted and be unable to organise seeing anyone ).

I never had any major issues at school and did well academically (my Y2 teacher told my mother I was the brightest child she'd ever taught). But once I got to uni and there was no structure or process to follow I was absolutely lost. Couldn't even begin to organise myself. I got through it somehow, but it was the same with work. I am not a 'self starter' at all - I can work at a high level but need to be told exactly what's expected of me and there needs to be routine and rules or I just stall! Time management is almost impossible for me, I have to set alarms and reminders for everything or I would procrastinate through or forget every deadline. A brief attempt at self employment once was a disaster. Hell, I'm still dealing with HMRC issues years later from that one, as I could not deal with the paperwork!

I genuinely have no idea how other people's minds must work that they can self organise and make themselves do stuff without getting waylaid by irrelevant tasks. How do they hold all the stuff in their brain? I've wished so many times that I could stop being so lazy (actually I'm really not lazy at all, far from it), stupid (I'm far from stupid too) and disorganised.

Tell me about it Roomba. I’m glad my degree didn’t involve a dissertation as I would’ve hated doing one. It sounded like a nightmare. I hated normal essays enough as it is. There were so many times during my school years when I moaned to my mother that I must’ve missed the “how to write an essay” lesson. Now I realise that there probably wasn’t one. I still have no idea how other people managed it and were so good at it without being specifically taught! Books about writing them just helped with the structure, ie intro/main bit/conclusion etc, not the actual writing/content of it.

My biggest problem was that I always hated asking for help, I always felt like the teachers/lecturers would think of me as stupid. Never mind the fact that they were PAID to help me (and others...)

Yeah, it took me three years From first suspecting I had it to finally getting the diagnosis and okay, part of that was waiting for a referral, but most of it was allll me.

I have also been always confused at how people hold things in their brain. I don't feel in control of my thoughts in that way at all. They just sort of float around like they are in liquid, whereas it seems sometimes for other people that (to continue the metaphor) it's like they have a mental "table" with thoughts being blocks they can move around? Someone on the ADHD subreddit said "Undiagnosed ADHD is like trying to hold 100 marbles, but nobody tells you that everyone else has a bag."

I especially marvel at DH who can do really complicated equations and calculations in his head. He's a planner, to the extreme - every situation will have a plan A, B, C, D and E. Sometimes - like last year we were thinking about buying a car and when the salesman went off to find something out I could see DH with this expression on his face and I said "You're working it out, aren't you?" he said yes he was on plan 3. I couldn't do that. I need to talk my thoughts through with somebody to be able to examine them. Or write them down. If I try to plan totally in my head, I get lost.

I had always been ashamed of my degree. I studied politics and could debate and understand the subject as well as anyone else but I could never get it on paper.

My dissertation was handed in late (had to ask for an extension) and I got a 2.2

But now I need to change my narrative and realise that I managed to do that without a regular motivational system or decent executive function!

Yes! :) You did

Thank you for the link to Psychiatry UK OP.

One concern I have is that if I tell the Psychiatrist that I have other diagnoses (Severe OCD, Depression) that they might attribute my ADHD symptoms to these diagnoses!

Did you get the diagnosis after one consultation? Did you fill in several assessment questionnaires? Is there anything else that would be useful to know before the consultation?

Also OP you did amazingly to complete your degree.

I got the highest mark in my year for my second year at Uni but due to my ADHD, (very) severe OCD, anxiety and Depression I withdrew from third year (despite having achieved A grades in 3rd year until then) and so I'm now degree-less at 30!

I have a very clever friend who could easily have got a first in the right circumstances but she got a 2.2 as she was struggling with anxiety during her degree. Considering how ADHD affects everything from planning, to organization, to dealing with stress, you did brilliantly.

Yep, another high performing uni dropout here.

How to write essays - this. I never 'worked it out', just nicked the strategies. I can't come up with new or interesting ideas.

I can't think about my degree / time at University, it makes me too sad, but it was also humanities.

Maybe we just need to give ourselves more time than a 'normal' person to do these things?

@lilabet2 those two years of university would count as credits towards a degree with the open university

I am feeling anxious about progressing with it but building up to it.

I am worried that adhd medications are contraindicated for the other condition I have. I will have to get some robust medical advice as I have a condition that can lead to kidney tumours, and there seems to be research that in rare cases brain tumours can cause adhd. I also worry about benign tumours on the brain. On an intensive meditation retreat I felt a blockage in the right side of my head that felt like a squidgy ball and I couldn't 'move through it' only around it. Also when I get run down and tired I feel like the right side of head has a cold, and my right eyelid gets droopy. I will see what they say about the medications in my case if I get a diagnosis. In any case I think the mind/body/gut is strongly connected.

I should say brain tumours can cause adhd symptoms, not adhd itself.

Yes, I am thinking of doing OU actually. I need to be in a better place with my medication and systems, though, so I will actually make myself work. I worry that without the structure of a physical course and buildings and lectures at set times etc I will just put it off and put it off. But it seems like a good way to get the rest of that qualification done.

Can't remember who said about prematurity now. I wasn't premature, in fact I was 2 weeks late, but I was slightly hypoxic at birth which can cause ADHD as well. I don't know whether it's that or whether it came from my family, as there are pretty strong contenders on both sides and my half brother was queried with ADHD inattentive as well.

I've taken the plunge and booked an assessment. It won't bother me too much either way, by coming here I've got a much better understanding of my problems

On an intensive meditation retreat I felt a blockage in the right side of my head that felt like a squidgy ball and I couldn't 'move through it' only around it. Also when I get run down and tired I feel like the right side of head has a cold, and my right eyelid gets droopy. I realise this sounds bonkers!

I was two weeks early and underweight. I was born at 9am and always joked that I wanted to be on time for school / it was the only time I was ever on time for school

I also got a 2:2. University wasn’t actually too bad for me, the worst part was my year abroad which was utterly shit. I managed to get through it because I knew I wanted to get my degree. I failed the year abroad academically. I should’ve been organised enough to organise a teaching placement with the British Council, but nope, ended up studying at a German university, doing classes designed for native speakers. I barely understood a damn thing. I ended up with a different degree title to others, “European Cultural Studies” instead of French and German. It’s a legit degree, but I tend to say French and German because it’s far easier. Plus people understand that I have a specific level of fluency in those languages.
If it had been pre-Internet days without my mother sending me tons of dvds/box sets via amazon, I would’ve dropped out.

I was a day early. No real problems at birth bar jaundice. Neonatal jaundice is so common, I don’t think it has any long lasting effects in most cases.

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/premature-birth-linked-increased-risk-adhd/

In this study, the researchers found that children who were born at least 4 weeks before full term (at 33 weeks or earlier) were more likely to show symptoms of ADHD than those born at full term. The association seemed to be stronger among girls than boys

Interesting that the association seems to be stronger in girls than boys. I was 12 weeks early.

I can't think about my degree / time at University, it makes me too sad, but it was also humanities

I know how you feel ADHDme. I have a friend who was similarly clever at school and expected to do well, as I was. She fulfilled her potential- went to Cambridge, now living abroad as a correspondent for the BBC while i’m waiting for payday to see if I can afford a new nursing bra. She said one day, quite pointedly, that she wonders how it feels for people who were expected to do really well and become stars in their fields but it didn’t turn out that way.

She’s a bit of a dick, admittedly, but that kind of thing does sting, when I look back on all my wasted years and fuck ups, and how embarrassingly shite my salary is.

I will read all replies afterwards (not all but most if I can)))

I got diagnosed with inattentive type last month. Took 10 months from referral to diagnosis.

I was worried NHS would dismiss me - my life after all is good on paper: stable job (read: employers like me too much and are being very forgiving), good support network, no personal disasters, no mental health problems.

But I have a job that really demands sustained mental attention and I explained to Dr I was really struggling with concentration and prioritizing. Trying to focus is like trying herding bloody bunch of thought cats. I would research on internet endlessly on different irrelevant topics without accomplishing anything in 14 hrs of waking time. I am 36, Oxbridge graduate and young people whoosh past me career-wise (well, I am a part-timer carrying mental load but that's no excuse still). Dr said he can see I was 'stuck', despite my impressive collection of time management books.

Hello pretty pink pills - 30mg Elvanse for a week, but apart from reducing irritability (seriously, it is like taking a chill pill), I can't comment much about difference to concentration.