Thread for those with adult ADHD or who think they might have ADHD

[Borntobedifferent]

So I've put this into mental health as although it isn't really a mental health issue it tends to be discovered (in adults) when there is other mental health issues.

I've written a few times elsewhere on here about my ADHD but thought it might be nice to have an ongoing thread.

All that i ask is that we focus on adult ADHD as I'm sure there is other threads for those with children with ADHD.

I am nearly a year diagnosed now (I'm 37) and am on Elvanse 40mg and amfexa 5mg first thing in the morning.

I am so on 200mg sertraline and diazepam as by the time I was diagnosed I was just totally broken.

I have a therapist and today I started with an ADHD coach, I have to learn to accept my past and to embrace the positives of ADHD but it's not an easy thing to do.

Executive control is an issue, so you know what to do...just doing it can be problematic....

borntobe is there any way to access that article without being a registered NHS professional or payng a fiver?!

@TheseThingsAreFunAndFunIsGood I can see it 'freely'?
Really useful article

@borntobedifferent Wow. That article. I find it a bit heartbreaking because that’s me all over.

All the stupid mistakes I make, despite telling myself I need to check, check and check again. Like getting to 5pm and realising in horror that I’ve not booked invigilators for exams the next day. Phoning someone an hour late for an important meeting because I’ve not been concentrating when I wrote the appointment down. When I used to work in retail I was always terrified about cashing up because I knew it would take me ages as I would lose focus, make mistakes and need to check and check again. I do not trust myself to do everything I need to do. Life at work is made easier by having an online calendar that pings when I need to do something but I worry that i’ve input the wrong time or room for the appointment and need to go back and check again because I know I make mistakes. And I say this with great shame, but I often forget to brush my toddler DS’s teeth. A while ago I lost one of his shoes because my mind was just somewhere else. Fortunately someone had found it and left it on a wall but I was crying with the guilt.

I’m horribly messy and disorganised and this has caused massive tension between me and DH. Lots of basic stuff just slips my mind. I feel really proud if I remember to put a wash on.

Even in calm-ish moments my mind is still going. Like as I’m typing this and thinking about what to say, the theme tune from Andy’s Safari Adventures is playing on a loop in my head

What you said about smoking and dopamine is interesting. None of the antidepressants i’ve been on (still on sertraline) have been much use and they all work on serotonin.

@AgentCooper I feel.your pain.

Has anyone found a way to make things better without taking drugs? Any kind of natural alternatives?

It is tough and a diagnosis doesn't make things better straight away.

I am a year after diagnosis and felt euphoric first of all that I finally knew how I was different. Then that would wore off and I had every emotion. I was convinced I didn't have it and was just lazy and wanted the label as an excuse.

Until recently I have had a period of real anger. A feeling that it's ruined my life and I don't want it, I don't want to embrace it I want it to go away.

Since another appointment with my psych to restart meds (I took some time out to get my anti depressant dose sorted) and a session with an ADHD life coach I feel a bit better and my life coach said I over time together we can change the narrative in my head of my life story. So where I see I was fired for being bullied I will be able to focus on the fact that this woman bullied me because I called out her racism in the office. People with ADHD feel a strong sense of fairness and a need to speak out about what they see as unfair. So I need to learn to be proud that I do that even when sometimes it has led to a rubbish outcome which wasbt my fault.

@borntobedifferent Thanks for sharing that.

That article is interesting. I always think it's just this period of stress then forget when things are 'good'. I am about ten years behind where I wanted to be in my life. I have put off having children because I feel like I need to get more organised first. Switching off/relaxing - what is that? I never plan when I have to go somewhere, what time do I leave etc. I constantly untidy my own house. I have lost more purses, necklaces etc. than I care to remember. I have pulled all nighters for deadlines in my 30s. I have no time management. I have ended relationships and left jobs impulsively. I did however manage two degrees.

Hi all, no dx here, but reading about it has changed my life. It's like someone drew a circle around a list of everything wrong with me and gave it a name. I first read about adhd about two years ago and it changed everything for me. I'm so much kinder to myself now.

I did fine at primary, but couldn't handle secondary and really underachieved. I had awful organisation skills, and was just written off as bright but lazy.

I re- started a levels four years in a row, but always dropped out. I dropped out of my first degree too.

I really struggle with everyday, routine things. Food and house work are really, really hard. A constant stress. I feel like I use every bit of energy just keeping head above water. I also get stuck with anything with more than a couple of steps, so going to Dr to get more sertraline seems like mission impossible.

I'm always stuck in my head, unable to execute. It's like I can see how things should be, and how to do it, but I can't actually do it. My head is always planning/dreaming... I can't turn it off. All my plans have no point.

It all feels so physical. My inertia hurts. I can't be bothered to wipe kitchen side down ever but am always obsessed with some stupid other thing.

DS was diagnosed with ADHD (and ASD) last year and I had a lightbulb moment. I’ve always wondered why I struggle to cope with life; why I ruin every good intention or opportunity I have with indecision, procrastination and self-doubt. Why my long-term memory is uncannily precise but my working memory is shit. Why I can’t follow the plots of TV shows or films, despite being (allegedly) reasonably intelligent. Why I often feel a sense of dread hanging over me for no precise reason. DS has the stereotypical, fidgety, literally-cannot-sit-still-if-his-life-depends-on-it presentation (which I most certainly don’t) but when the CAMHs psychologist told us it was likely genetic, I immediately thought “that will be me then”. The more I read, the more I see it!

But like others, I just can’t imagine approaching my GP and saying “I suspect I have ADD”. Every time I consider it I’ve talked myself out of it before I actually do anything (like I do with every-bloody-thing), precisely because of my chronic procrastination and inability to make decisions.

Does anyone who has been diagnosed fancying sharing how they first broached the sucject with an HCP? Did you just make a GP appointment, march in there and say “I think I have ADHD”? And how did you get to that point?

*I'm always stuck in my head, unable to execute. It's like I can see how things should be, and how to do it, but I can't actually do it. My head is always planning/dreaming... I can't turn it off. All my plans have no point.

It all feels so physical. My inertia hurts. I can't be bothered to wipe kitchen side down ever but am always obsessed with some stupid other thing.*

ifeellikeanidiot that so beautifully articulates how I feel!

I have always struggled with making a joke out of myself or being incredibly hard on myself. I can't face admitting or being told that I just can't do some things. I can't face people knowing how bad it is either, in case they judge or laugh at me. I think I feel ashamed I have let it go on so long really, it's almost self abuse. I have started to simplify my life and make it easier and kinder to myself. A diagnosis would just be part of that process to me.

Hi. Can I join you?

I've been wondering about this myself for a while now. I've had a recent diagnosis of 'slow processing speed' by an Ed Psych, which I have also heard often goes hand in hand with ADD.

I am now in my late 30s and wondering whether it is really worth pursuing a diagnosis. I am currently back in education and really 'feeling' the frustration of how my brain seems to work.

I was described as a hyperactive child. Now? To be simplistic about it - I often feel like there is a ping pong ball in my brain, whereby I spend half the time coming up with exciting, genius ideas/inspiration...and the other half of my time berating myself for not having the focus to see many things to fruition (or for getting side-tracked for not getting the boring necessary things done!)

This thread is helping me so much, so posters put how I feel into words which I can't and I don't feel so alone now.

Slow processing speed is me too. I couldn’t keep up with note taking in lectures. My handwriting is slow and neat which doesn’t help. I’d look around at people scribbling at speed in lectures and wonder how on Earth they could keep up. Reading the slides, listening to the lecturer, trying to work out what was important, writing it all down... I just couldn’t do it all. I really should have recorded the lectures to play back at my own pace later.

I can be really gung ho about changing things, like “yeah I’ll do this, sounds like a great idea” but I very rarely if ever follow through. It’s like I just can’t be arsed.

Why my long-term memory is uncannily precise but my working memory is shit. Why I can’t follow the plots of TV shows or films, despite being (allegedly) reasonably intelligent. Why I often feel a sense of dread hanging over me for no precise reason.

Yes to all of these here too Mrsfrumble. That’s a funny thing about long term vs working memory. I can tell you what happened on some random day 12 years ago but struggle to remember people I met a week ago.

I always think back to a talk my high school headmaster did at assembly, quoting Marlon Brando’s ‘I could’ve been a contender’ speech from On The Waterfront. The headmaster said ‘don’t let that be you in 10 years time.’ Soz Mr McVittie but that’s me to a t. So much promise, one of the allegedly brightest students in my year, now earns 12 grand doing part time admin despite all the prizes and a PhD. While my two best friends went off and did Oxbridge and have great jobs. I feel embarrassed when I meet folk I went to school with because my life didn’t turn out as expected.

My desk was always a state at work before I went on mat leave. Actually dusty. I was so relieved to return to a tidy desk after mat leave because my cover had been really organised but now there’s a big box of stuff under there that I have no idea what to do with.

Yes to the memory thing! I seem to remember the most detailed things - numbers, quoting people verbatim...but remembering a simple set of instructions? Pah!

My working memory is crap, but I can follow TV shows/films. I’m pretty good at subjects like languages because I have a photographic memory for stuff like vocabulary and grammar. My working memory problems are more when I’m dealing with a lot of written information, eg in an education-type setting if I’m copying something down.

I first thought I may have add when I was struggling in a job five years ago. I put it to one side as the job got better and I got more experienced. I then had a life changing event three years ago. I came on msn to look at something else and ending up reading the sen boards. At the same time I saw a poster in the surgery which led me to research asd traits. I then started to feel more confident about seeking an assessment to help with strategies for work/life. I am always encouraging people - family, friends etc. - to be their best, and I realised how strange that I am not prioritising myself.

I find using subtitles helps with TV and film as I have to concentrate more. There are times my patience and lack of concentration is embarrassing, I'm like a 5 year old. For example if I go and see a singer I like and they play a song I'm not interested in I have to go to the loo or do something else because I get so bored that fast.

A funny video to watch on a Saturday night ....

* I'm like a 5 year old. For example if I go and see a singer I like and they play a song I'm not interested in I have to go to the loo or do something else because I get so bored that fast.*

Ha ha this is me completely!!! I can go to a theme park or to see a show I love and still feel "bored"

This thread is really helpful. So we've got:
@borntobedifferent, @Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt
@toffee1000, @northface90, @Blossomcat, @grumpyyetgorgeous, @AgentCooper, @Toughmonkeys, @MyOtherProfile, @ifeellikeanidiot, @nordstrom, @Mrsfrumble, @shiveringtimber

Thanks for some good links. I came across these which talk about nutrition and supplements:

www.adhdwise.uk/adhd-and-nutrition/

www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/2017/09/08/alternative-interventions-for-adhd-evidence-matters-and-clear-evaluation-is-needed-for-every-patient-regardless-of-treatment-choice/

@shiveringtimber Can you stop and start meds then?

@myotherprofile What books have you (or anyone else) read that you found helpful? I really recommend Finding Your Element by Ken Robinson.

@AgentCooper Sorry to hear about your experiences, a lot of that sounds familiar. I saw a counsellor at uni and he just told me a lot of students get depressed! I have a big box of stuff at home

@borntobedifferent I imagine it feels that way. I can understand the anger too. I really like the idea of changing the narrative of my story.

We just live in a world that isn't built with us in mind.

So true. I want to get out in nature as much as possible.

Thank god for this thread. I am struggling with my anger but also laughing my head off at the thread about lateness....

To sum it up for those who haven't read it. A few of us pointed out that if someone is always late they may have ADHD to which people replied with just try harder, get organised and get up earlier 😂 Like none of had thought of those ourselves!

I recommend this page

www.adhdaction.org/

Someone told me I may have this, but I once mentioned it to my counsellor and she said I'm "just" depressed. I'm not sure. Long term depression, anxiety, over thinking, low self esteem, perfectionist, very self critical, no patience, very angry when I can't change a situation, anti depressants not helping .. I don't know.

I scored reasonably highly on the self-report and childhood scales mentioned in the article up thread but don’t have anxiety or depression.

I went on a course for diagnosing ADHD in adults a few months ago and recognised much of myself when they talked about inattentive ADHD. The course was mainly for HCP and the Prof running the course said ADHD is often misdiagnosed as other mental health disorders

I enquired about a private diagnosis, but it would cost £850