Thread for those with adult ADHD or who think they might have ADHD

[Borntobedifferent]

So I've put this into mental health as although it isn't really a mental health issue it tends to be discovered (in adults) when there is other mental health issues.

I've written a few times elsewhere on here about my ADHD but thought it might be nice to have an ongoing thread.

All that i ask is that we focus on adult ADHD as I'm sure there is other threads for those with children with ADHD.

I am nearly a year diagnosed now (I'm 37) and am on Elvanse 40mg and amfexa 5mg first thing in the morning.

I am so on 200mg sertraline and diazepam as by the time I was diagnosed I was just totally broken.

I have a therapist and today I started with an ADHD coach, I have to learn to accept my past and to embrace the positives of ADHD but it's not an easy thing to do.

[adhdme2019]

Have posted my own thread about ADHD recently and have possibly commented on this one before under a different name.

Am seeing the NHS psychiatrist in February for the second time and if I have no luck with them this time I think I’ll just go private but then I’ll need to tell my OH about all of this.

I have absolutely no doubt that I have inattentive ADHD. Are lots of psychiatrists still looking for that typical hyper/impulsive case? When I spoke to him I did feel he was more interested in basically trying to find out if I’m constantly bouncing around. Which I’m not!

Someone on another thread recommend a doctor in London so I might contact him.

[Hadleybeans]

Reviving a dead thread! I wondered if anyone could recommend a private doctor in London for an ADHD diagnosis. My GP has offered to refer but the wait is epic. Classic inattentive - massive discrepancy between ability and achievement at school, lazy, stares out of window, daydreams, can never (and still can't) concentrate in a lecture or class... I've coped well over the years but recently went back to work and it was an embarrassing and crushing disaster (I felt like I was drowning in paperwork). Also - does a formal diagnosis affect car and life insurance (they are declarable).

[penguin246]

I don't know about London only online. E.g. Psychiatry Uk. It was around £500 for diagnosis and the first prescription. I got an appointment in 2 weeks. Check out ADHD UK on facebook. They might be able to answer your insurance questions.

[everythingbackbutyou]

Placemarking. I swear on a stack of Bibles I have undiagnosed inattentive ADD (I am 44) and that my dad does too. My stbxh always scoffed at the idea (because I went to University )but it's either that or I really am so incapable of adulting as I think I am. In the next few weeks going to head to family dr with self assessment checksheet to ask for a referral for formal assessment. I am a classic daydreamy "could try harder" type of person.

[FriendToTheBitterLemon]

So my teen dd has just been diagnosed with ADHD. DH and I have started seeing a family therapist. Second session in, she said to me, do you think you might have ADHD? I scoffed but then thought about it.
I took four different online adult ADHD tests. One only had five questions and it came out as a no. All the others (including one from the OP down the thread) came out as a strong yes.

I’m anxious, depressed, fidgety, very easily bored, can’t bear people who are slow (speak slowly, too many pauses) - actually want to scream with frustration, can’t stand waffle - I just get lost, just GET TO THE BLOODY POINT, find it hard to do one thing at a time, I’m easily distracted so end up doing three things at a time, poorly.

Oh and this with bells on Why my long-term memory is uncannily precise but my working memory is shit. Why I can’t follow the plots of TV shows or films, despite being (allegedly) reasonably intelligent. Why I often feel a sense of dread hanging over me for no precise reason.

Despite this I have managed to get a degree and a post grad degree and I did well at school. I absolutely and wholeheartedly have the feeling of not living up to my potential though.

@borntobedifferent does this sound like I have ADHD? Should I see a doctor? Would medication improve my life?

[penguin246]

@FriendToTheBitterLemon They all sound like classic traits. There are degrees, mild, moderate etc. It depends - why/what do you want from a diagnosis. Having one can bring a sense of acceptance (as well as a sense of anger, why was this not picked up etc.). If you work, you can get help through Access to Work for free with strategies. There are ADHD coaches (not cheap), or if lucky you can find a counsellor with a child with ADHD who GETS it and can give REAL strategies. Books are helpful from Amazon too. Diet and exercise help. I read a book called Too Fast Too Slow Too Loud which explains how sensory input - the right balance - helps regulation.

On medication. It helps. A lot. It is not the only answer but it is an improvement. You still need to direct your focus and manage stress, but the thing I found that I was not expecting was how much it helped me regulate my emotions. I had no idea how much time I spent worrying about what other people think or if I am doing things right! That is gone with medication. I get more done. Still lose lots of time procrastinating, but am only just on the right dose so need to give it time.

Good luck.

[FriendToTheBitterLemon]

Thanks Penguin. I’m right at the beginning of the process but that’s given me loads to think about. I really appreciate it

[Littleninja1]

Got my diagnosis yesterday for combined type ADHD. Reading this thread was really helpful in deciding whether to book a private psychiatrist. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

It's still sinking in and I am questioning myself a lot as to whether I was exaggerating or I'm just unmotivated and lazy and want an excuse. But there are certain facts that have happened and aren't a matter of opinion so I need to just trust in the psychiatrist I think.

Yesterday I felt at peace for the first time in a long time. My mind feels much quieter today too. It is a lovely feeling but unsettling too as I'm not used for it. My Random Radio station in my brain is still pumping out the tunes though

Going to try Ritalin now and see how I get on with it. The psychiatrist has recommended starting on the fast acting one as it's the cheapest. Anyone had experience with this?

[wombatsandaplant]

For those who have adhd, How does it present. I often think I have adhd, I fit the symptoms very well but cos I’m autistic I feel like everything is just put down to that instead. I have a long history of being chatty and distracted and not putting in my effort, poor behaviour. But the only thing that makes me doubt it is I always had good marks. Like even though I wasn’t watching the teacher and stuff I still knew exactly what was said half the time, the other half I completely tuned out and had no idea what was going on. Also I concentrate much better when I’m doing something, like if I’m playing a game or doodling I can listen to the teacher better. Half the time I have no idea what people say as something has caught my attention, or I only catch the last bit of what they’ve said because it takes extra time to focus on the person and what they’re saying. It’s difficult trying to differentiate between what is the autism and what could be adhd. Anyone have any thought?

[Annabelle202095]

Hopefully this is a safe space to post, on this thread.
Has anyone been on their ADD / ADHD meds and planning to get pregnant. Currently deliberating my situation.
I take Elvanse.
If anyone has been on elvanse or something similar whilst having another child please connect with me would love to chat. Thanks x

[dopaminedepleted]

Just reading this thread makes me want to cry and cry. Seeing a specialist privately in a few
Weeks. Kids all screaming at me before leaving for school with my DH. I feel such a failure and like it's all my fault. I will be astounded if I don't have it. But am really worried about the medication bit and anxious not to give myself other issues - I do sleep well despite everything. Am on sertraline which does help I know as I've tried to come off and am much worse without it. But I think there is something gojng on as I just have no energy - am filled with inertia from the second I get up!

[SpideryPlants]

@dopaminedepleted I found Sertaline was a massive killer of motivation. My AdHD psychiatrist suggested Vortioxetine or Escitalopram which are meant to be good for focus and motivation if you have adhd. My GP would not prescribe them as they are expensive and new I think. However they gave me Citalopram which I think is an older version of Escitalopram. It has been amazing. I take it at night so the wierd side effects (aches and stomach) wear off and when I wake up I actually want to get up and not feel a crushing weight of the day!

There are stimulant and non stimulant Adhd meds, I never tried non stimulant ones but they may be better for insomnia.

[dopaminedepleted]

Thank you @SpideryPlants that's really good info I will bear in mind when I see them

[DixitWinner]

Reviving a deadish thread in the hope of finding other adult ADDers!

Have a thread in AIBU about DH being angry with me for not putting cheese and crackers back in fridge. Am starting to doubt myself now, even though my psychiatrist has told me clearly that I am not lazy, after someone on the the thread said they have a very tidy adhd child...

I know other women with it who are pretty chaotic with that side of life, but right now I am wondering if maybe it is just me or if I do use it as an excuse

[moreattentionlessdeficit]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4009713-AIBU-to-wish-more-people-know-that-ADHD-persists-into-adulthood?msgid=99809077

I made a big rant about it a while back.

A lot of people posted some good resources :)

There is also a support thread in Special Needs>Mumsnetters with SN but it's been quite quiet recently. :)

[Return2thebasic]

@DixitWinner

Reviving a deadish thread in the hope of finding other adult ADDers!

Have a thread in AIBU about DH being angry with me for not putting cheese and crackers back in fridge. Am starting to doubt myself now, even though my psychiatrist has told me clearly that I am not lazy, after someone on the the thread said they have a very tidy adhd child...

I know other women with it who are pretty chaotic with that side of life, but right now I am wondering if maybe it is just me or if I do use it as an excuse

@DixitWinner,

We are lucky, as in modern time various scientific researches have proven that the brain is mouldable /trainable. They call it "brain plasticity".

I used to be very forgetful and careless all my life until I became a mum.

People talk about "baby brains". In my case, having my first child had pushed me to "evolve" to a different level. Maybe because of my inner anxiety and my fear of losing control when I returned to work after 8 months, I worked so hard to keep things organised. Every detail of the routines for the little one, my work, the long commute, the finance...endless worries. One day after that many stressful years, I suddenly came to realisation that I managed to train my brain to be sharp, well organised and with such an excellent memory that when sometimes I did get it wrong, I just couldn't believe it (well, then I managed to prove half of the time that someone else has made mistake, not my memory...). It changed my career direction too. I realised that I was so good at organising things and make plans happen one after another, I became a project manager. One that being respected by most of my male colleagues in an engineering company.

To tell you all these is not to show off (or..maybe-a-little ). I really want to tell you that don't give in to that "label". Don't let it define you and restrain your efforts to become better. IT IS possible and if you keep trying, you will find one day that you stand at a complete different ground feeling proud.

[Return2thebasic]

I realised I didn't provide much practical advice...

I honestly don't know how I managed. But I suspect the drive is out of a sense of insecurity and utmost caring. The anxiety made me view many things as "hight stake", so that pushed me tried really hard. A sense of perfection? I don't think so, but something in that direction, as when things go wrong, I found the process of bringing everything back to order is more stressful than my efforts to prevent to begin with.

Not sure if these make sense to you or not. But this was how my life was shaped in the past ten years.

[Galvantula]

@Return2thebasic do you have ADHD?

While brain plasticity is a thing and we can improve things to an extent, with ADHD certain areas of the brain are physically different and the dopamine system does not work as well. This affects getting started, carrying on and following through talks to complete them.

Working memory is affected and many executive functions such as having a sense of time passing and being able to break down and plan tasks.

The feeling of being overwhelmed and also always failing can really affect self esteem.

Yes anxiety can panic you through some tasks, but for me perfectionism makes me unable to start/finish them in case they were wrong/not good enough.

[Return2thebasic]

@Galvantula, yes, I do have it. Diagnosed when I was 39, which explained my whole life...

I still have lots of symptoms and I'm not saying I'm self-cured. I'm just describing what happened to me and the dramatic change of certain capability of mine which I would have otherwise considered hopeless.

There are always debates over the past decades, if non-medical intervention /brain training could treat certain aspects of ADHD. I don't understand there's a clear consensus yet. But working on it would be better off than giving up. To believe there's nothing can be done by yourself (set aside the med) is to let go the responsibility and leave yourself vulnerable and depressed.

[Return2thebasic]

Typing issue: "I do understand there isn't a clear consensus yet."

[Galvantula]

Thanks for explaining. :) I guess it was confusing when you related it to baby brain.

Along with medication it definitely helps to do some work yourself. Even things like regular mindfulness practise are meant to help with staying calm and helping with focus.

From what I've read things like brain training courses have been shown to only temporarily improve symptoms, but finding ways that work for you to keep a routine and externalise the things your brain is not so good at (Lots of clocks and timers , calendar reminders, notepads around to write things down before you forget etc.) are really important.

[jan9876]

Marking to read this whole thread. I have a lot of signs of adhd, I was made aware by my dc going through the diagnosis. And also that stimulants have always really helped me.
At the minute I find myself drinking more and it is getting a bit out of control. I have an addictive personality and I know this also can be related to adhd. I don't know what to do about it but I just wanted to share. It is hard at the minute I just feel so impulsive at times. And I'm getting really annoyed with myself. I am not thinking of getting assessed anytime soon because I have too many other things going on in my life atm. Good luck everyone.

[zz77]

I just read through the first bit and last bit of the thread. So good to share these experiences so people can begin to understand what it’s like for others even if they don’t suffer themselves. I think adult adhd is really quite common and can make life hard for sufferers. My DH has it, undiagnosed but it’s so clear. Could anyone recommend a private psychiatrist for an online appointment? I don’t hold out much hope for getting referrals at the moment from the gp. I’m hoping with some help with ADHD my DH may be able to start tackling some other related problems too (alcoholism).

[zz77]

Jan9876. This sounds really hard hope you’re ok. Have you ever tried getting help with the ADHD? It seems to me, from observing my DH that it’s almost impossible for him to stay off alcohol for long because of the problems with impulse control from the ADHD. He makes such huge efforts and then slips up and feels so ashamed - it makes me feel so sad for him. I feel like it’s an impossible battle which is why I’m going to see if I can help him get some help with the ADHD he seems up for it but doesn’t know where to start.

[zz77]

Sorry jan9876 just re read your comment I shouldn’t have asked about getting help with the ADHD. Hope you’re ok.