Depression support thread - gratitude, positivity, solidarity

[MHsupport]

Hi everyone, I’m starting this thread for myself, and anyone else who needs some support in dealing with low mood/depression.

I’ve not had a good Christmas, it’s a hard time of year anyway, for lots of people, for lots of reasons and I fear I need a boost from somewhere to help get me back on track.

So here’s a place to offload, but most importantly to try to see the positive, practice gratitude and maybe share strategies... I’ll be back with some of the things that help me, in the hope that they might help others....

Studies show helping others can help with feelings of wellness so I thought it might be an idea for us to help each other and help ourselves at the same time

Even though we have probably heard them before, here are things that can help:

Mindfulness
Exercise
Eating well
Being in nature
Spending time with those we love/make us feel good about ourselves.

I know my biggest threat is living in my head too much, my thoughts are so unhelpful. Anyone got any tips for this, or anything else generally for mental well being?

Being out/walking in the country side helps me to relax and feel better about myself and life .

Thank you for starting this thread. I'm struggling too. I find it particularly hard in winter when the days are short and often miserable and I can't walk outdoors much. I do find a walk on a pleasant day helps, but am not motivated in the damp and grey days.

I'm really struggling at the moment, I've had a hard four years and longer but this Christmas I've had to put on a smile for my daughter and at night plot how to put an end to this. My current fantasy is being locked away for years so I don't have to deal with all this anymore. I'm tired of it all.

Sorry to not be more positive.

I hope things start to look up for you soon

Sorry to hear you’re struggling Carrie. I think the short winter days/crap weather is a contributing factor for me too, together with it being a time of painful memories.

I often feel that the overwhelming feeling is that of tiredness - not the sleepy kind, but of how you describe: “having to deal with it all”.

I think small steps is the way forward, a cliche, but often these cliches have a point.

So it’s a positive that you have managed to put a smile on for your daughter. Well done you. I bet there are other positives and things to be grateful for?

I am grateful that I have a warm and comfortable home and people who love me (even if my stupid brain tries to tell me they don’t).

Thank you for the and

Here are some for you too

Thank you.

Yes ... I agree about small steps. I sometimes remember to try to think of three positive things at the end of the day, although I often forget. For example today I managed to do two lots of laundry, avoided an argument with my partner and cooked a nice meal. Some days all I can think of is I got dressed!

My three children (youngest 17) are all mentally "fragile" and I worry about them a lot. Only the youngest lives at home and I'm
really struggling with her, she's sad and anxious all the time.

I find if I can get out I feel better, especially if I meet other people. I go to an art group and always feel much better afterwards, the people there are very friendly. I don't have any friends otherwise, not locally anyway and I spend all my time with my dd and dp.

How long have you suffered with depression? Was there something in particular that seemed to set it off?

Sending hugs and more and some

Thanks for the message. It’s tough when DC are struggling too, I’ve been there. Mine are younger but my now 12 year old has had periods of very worrying mental health. Thankfully he is doing well at the moment but I still worry about his future a lot. The teenage years can be so hard.

I started suffering from depression about 8 years ago, though there were maybe signs before that - minor eating disorder in my early twenties for example. I am prone to anxiety too but find that easier to manage than the fog of not being able to see the good in this life.

The anxiety came before the depression I think and was probably triggered by a parenting issue. But through counselling, I have learnt that ultimately my problems stem from childhood (my dad leaving and it not being handled well).

What about you? Has yours been a long term thing? Is your DP supportive?

Have you got plans for the weekend?

I want to try to get out but not sure where yet. I think I will try starting a written gratitude journal (again!)

Bump

Anyone else want to join?

I find inspirational quotes and poems helpful sometimes, though I appreciate not everyone does. I just found this one, which is interesting.

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." — Thich Nhat Hanh

I think this illustrates the dreaded spiral nature of depression. It’s really, really hard to do as the quote suggests, but when I do manage it, it does ring true.

Sorry to hear your ds has struggled too. It's so difficult isn't it, we just want them to be happy!

I suffer with anxiety and am fed up of over thinking everything til my head is racing.

I think I've been depressed on and off now for at least 20 years following an ectopic pregnancy but maybe longer looking back.

My partner is very supportive but it doesn't really help unfortunately. How about you?

No real plans for the weekend. I've promised to go for coffee with dd so just waiting for her to get ready. Otherwise I'm not very good at getting out and at the moment could easily stay in bed all day and probably will once dd is back at school.

“Fed up of over thinking everything til my head is racing”.

Yep, this is me too.

How was coffee with DD?

I’ve just had a nice chit chat with DS(12) - nothing heavy, but nice to just connect. So I’m going to be grateful for that today.

My DP is fairly supportive, however, I do find my MH affects our relationship - I start to doubt him, or focus on the negatives too much, and start to doubt my own feelings for him.

Are you on medication for your depression anxiety? I have on and off (mainly on) them for the majority of the last decade but am not currently. It’s difficult to know if/when I should go back on them. I think I’m going to give it another 2 weeks to see how I’m doing then, once back in the school routine etc.

Hope you manage to have some positives today

Hi everyone, glad I've stumbled across this thread, having a really bad day today. I broke my back a few months ago and although I am recovering slowly, it doesn't feel like it a lot of days - I take one step forward and then it feels like two steps back, and am frightened of being in pain for good now.

Have always suffered from depression and anxiety to a greater or lesser extent but all the things I do to keep it at bay, ie exercise and keeping busy, have been rather curtailed by the situation with my back. It could have been so much worse and I'm trying to stay positive as I know that helps the healing process,but dark quiet days like today really don't help.

I love that quote though about smiling being the source of your joy. That's a lovely one. Wish I had something inspiring to write, but my thoughts are racing at the moment. Bloody brain, own worst enemy sometimes.

Hi Yoda, glad you found us though sorry to hear about your back, I can see why that would impact on your mental health in terms of not being able to do some of the things that help. Have you considered meditation/mindfulness?

There are lots of good quotes on Pinterest, or I sometimes find them just by googling. Sometimes one is enough to offer a different perspective on things and that can make all the difference.

It’s a constant battle though, trying to do things to help yourself. Sometimes I can see it as a satisfying project, other times it’s just a pain the arse (understatement).

Lighting a candle and wrapping a cosy blanket round you with a cuppa can be soothing in these dreary uninspiring days.

I’m around this evening if anyone needs company x

Thanks for that, MH, much appreciated. Even the thought of a cozy blanket and cup of tea is soothing !!

I've just signed up to Headspace to try some meditation, am hoping that will help. Your comment made me laugh about doing things to help yourself sometimes being a pain in the arse so true!!

This time of year definitely brings things into focus. But love looking for positive things, however small - for example I noticed it got darker at four thirty where I am yesterday, rather than four. Can't wait for some lighter evenings !!

Hi everyone, glad I’ve found this thread. I don’t actually know whether I am depressed or just terribly sad, but I seem to be sad a lot. This time of year wipes me out emotionally, I detest it but would love not to.

I lost my sister May 2017, mum in September 2012, best friends with both of them. I was in a relationship from 2011 to this summer. I’m slipping further and further away from ‘normality’. My kids are adults with their own lives. So, the way I see it is I have nobody, I feel nobody cares/loves me. I’m sure my kids do (when I’m rational) but I just don’t believe they do.
I’ve always had low self esteem, but my mum/sister would make me feel better, I believed them, felt they meant it. I don’t feel close to anyone now. My daughter has her boyfriend, who is lovely and I’m glad she has him, but I feel I’m no longer of ‘use’ to her (untrue I’m sure) so feel abandoned.

I feel alone/lonely/isolated and as my username suggests ‘pointless’. I feel very low indeed.

I’m sorry to hear of those of you with DC who have MH issues, that must be incredibly difficult to deal with, such a worry.

I hope we can offload here and be supportive of each other, just writing down your thoughts and feelings is cathartic in itself.

itsallpointless, my heart goes out to you. No wonder you are feeling sad to lose both such loved family members.
There are good people out there if you can find a way of connecting with them-so hard to get out and initiate things when you feel low but having that connection with people really helps.

Hi itsall

I’m really sorry about you mum and sister. Some of my feeling low is because of a bereavement so I know where you’re coming from.

Sorry, I haven’t quite got the brain power to write more at the moment, but will come back later.

Sending hugs and strength

Checking in.

I've had a dreadful year, lost my job, split with long term DP and have had to move back to my home city and move in with my mum. Feel like my life is going backwards not forwards. I've been on Sertraline for 6 weeks or so, just increased dose to 100mg and I still feel utterly desolate most of the time.
What helps? Walks. Long drives. Seeing friends, sometimes.

Hi louderthan, welcome but sorry to hear you are struggling. That sounds like a shit year. I hope the increased dose helps. I had a similar experience with ADs and they did eventually, and at an increased dose, help.

As we’ve said upthread, this time of year does us no favours (grey short days, expectations to be enjoying ourselves etc) so we should all be kind to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack.

Sending gentle positive and peaceful vibes to all

Hi louderthan. I've been on Sertraline 100mg for about six weeks too and so far can't say that it's making a lot of difference but I do know that antidepressants need time to be fully effective and I guess everyone's brain chemical make up is different.

Keep with them and keep doing the things you know you find enjoyment in. Any exercise you enjoy? Before I hurt my back, I found anything cardio based robbed my depression of a lot of it's power. Am so looking forward to when I can get back to doing something more energetic.

Positive thoughts to you all for tonight and the year ahead! X

How are you all doing?

This time of year is tough, right? Life can be tough, right?

I managed some gratitude journaling last night, and that helped, also generally trying to think of positive things, eg it’s been nice to see the sun out the last couple of days at times.

Be kind to ourselves. And repeat

itsall sorry I didn’t come back properly. Are you able to somehow access the strength your mum and sister have you through remembering them? Sorry if that is unhelpful. Do you have a job or hobbies that can help bring a sense of purpose?

*gave you

I've had a tough couple of weeks. Missing family who've died, feeling lonely and isolated which intensifies quite often when I see people because it's just social chit chat and not anything remotely to do with what I spend most of my time thinking about.

Gratitude is very helpful, so is physical activity and keeping busy. But the trouble with that is it's exhausting.

I'm thinking I might go and see one of the few friends I've got left. It's a long journey but will give me something to look forward to.

Hi all.
I'm feeling a bit better today, back to work as a groom at a riding school.
Long hours and hard work to distract me, and being around horses is very therapeutic.
It's when I don't have a reason to get out of bed that I struggle.

Sending solidarity to all xx

Hi all, I suffered with terrible depression & anxiety for about 20 years.
Finding the CBT self help book, that I still use regularly to this day, was what changed everything for me, like a light going on!
I feel really good 95% of the time nowadays, thanks solely to the exercises from this amazing book :)