Depression support thread - gratitude, positivity, solidarity

[MHsupport]

Hi everyone, I’m starting this thread for myself, and anyone else who needs some support in dealing with low mood/depression.

I’ve not had a good Christmas, it’s a hard time of year anyway, for lots of people, for lots of reasons and I fear I need a boost from somewhere to help get me back on track.

So here’s a place to offload, but most importantly to try to see the positive, practice gratitude and maybe share strategies... I’ll be back with some of the things that help me, in the hope that they might help others....

@singledad, I have my timetable and a meal planner and the like stuck on my wall. My calendar is arriving via post in a week or so, fingers crossed things will be easier then. I need to do some actual work tomorrow but I think my plans for tomorrow are wake up, shower, change, eat go for a walk even if it's just to the end of the road and back and then work.

At the moment I'm fluctuating between being completely manic and hyperactive and being a recluse who hides and cringes when my flatmates knock on my door.

I'm also struggling because a close friend has been ghosting me since boxing day, which sucks, but I'm dealing with that by not using social media too much and I may or may not become passive aggressive and not respond should he message me or I'll call him out on it but who knows. I could be an adult and text him but as he's the one who is ignoring me I don't see why I should, when it's him with the issue.

My grandad is also really ill so there's quite a lot of transference I feel and I'm worried about my sister as she is in the early stages of pregnancy. I also really want to be healthier overall and lose some weight for my own sake, I think I'd also like to start dating once I'm feeling more myself as I've not done that before.

@Itsallpointless, I feel like my studying will fall into place (with some effort) once I start actively making good choices no matter how hard they are at the time. Like forcing myself to go for a walk each day so I get out of the house and forcing myself to eat three sensible meals rather than snacking all day. I'm also going to force myself to do at least one social thing with my housemates each day, even if it is spending half an hour in the lounge chatting with them.

Bunty don't waste energy on people who ghost you. Move on up. Put that energy into finding a better friend to hang out with.

Hi all

I am dealing with situational depression. I have had a very hard few years due to a combination of a terminally ill parent, relationship problems and job problems. I often feel I am very close to falling into a black hole of mental illness if I can't keep myself together. I try to take it day by day and some days are more overwhelming than others.

Some days I feel low/despondent/numb or just completely panicky/anxious.

I think sometimes you have to really wrestle your thoughts.

If a thought says, 'you're useless', you have to immediately and aggressively tell it to F off and say I am worth it!

In many ways, I think depression is a cognitive disorder, although for others it is a chemical imbalance and for others down to circumstances. For those where it is cognitive, I believe it's negative thoughts running amuck unchallenged, like having a bully live in your own brain. Seeing yourself as a child can help you to be kinder to yourself.

@OneStepMoreFun, I have better friends. I just miss him tbh and the conversations we have. I could text him just something general like what we'd normally chat about via facebook messenger but since he's not responded or read anything since the 26th Dec despite being almost constantly active there, I'm not going to. I'm not going to lower myself or make it seem like I'm needy or give the impression that I am ok with being treated like that, when it's a shitty thing to do and I deserve basic respect.

Breakawaygirl-I feel affinity with your post because of you talking about your fears of falling into a deep depression, which is how I feel in my down phases. I’d just say you seem to have an understanding of your situation which is good, and have probably, like me, emerged from these ruts before. That’s what I try to think about-that I recovered in the past and have people that care about me.

@Breakawaygirl I have chemical imbalance depression but have also had situational depression. I found it really helped to put a few things in place each day to battle it.
Put your favourite uplifting music on whenever you can - in the kitchen, on your commute etc.
Watch and read comedies or feelgood stories
Eat loads of fresh veg or if you can't, take supplements.
Nature walks or HIIT
Meditation, even for five minutes

None of these stop depression of course, but they do give you a chink of a breather from it. It worked better for me when I stopped thinking: 'what's the point of a walk/meditation session? I feel shit again as soon as it's over,' and started thinking, 'But at least I don't feel shit while I'm doing it, so that gives me time off-duty from the monster.'
By having 5 mins, then 10, then half an hour, then an hour a day's break from feeling on the brink of mental collapse can actually set you up to move away from it permanently.

Really struggling today. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a mountain that I have to struggle up before I can even think about rebuilding my life. The weather doesn't help I know.
All the things I need to do to rebuild myself- learning to drive, getting a job in my field, saving money, possibly finding another relationship- I seem to just be destined to fail at. Can't imagine what it must be like to be successful.

It’s been a sunnier day today @louderthan, I hope things have seemed even just a bit brighter.

I have actually been suffering from anxiety as much as anything the last few days. But I’ve been meditating, and practising mindfulness and just trying to take things one step at a time.

Sorry you are having a hard time of it @Breakawaygirl.

Sending strength and positivity to all, I need to re-read posts from the last week, sorry to see others struggling.

Really struggling following in the hope I can see the light at the end

Feeling rather low again today. My sleeping pattern has completely flipped so I’m awake at night and sleep during the day which is making thins more stressful than they need to be and I don’t know how to fix it at all. Which I making every problem I have bigger and more upsetting than it should be.

Please can I join?

Awful awful six years. It's been relentless, OH sectioned twice inc bad suicide attempt. Three close family members died inc one by suicide. Separated from OH which kids have so suffered with. Dr ASD and massive anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Darling ds has a conversion disorder- currently in a wheelchair. He has diagnosis of depression, anxiety and ptsd. I was off work for two months last autumn but back now cos ive run out of sick leave.

I am beyond burnt out. I'm becoming bitter and angry and totally full of despair. My friendships are collapsing as I have nothing interesting or cheerful to say.

I have no idea how I can keep going. If it wasn't for my two vulnerable kids I think I would have ended it.

Sorry for blab. Feeling so dreadful today

I hope this thread can help you Bunty and colouringin and everyone else of course.

Try to do the things you think might help, even if you don’t feel like doing them. Small steps at a time. Even though you’ll have heard these suggestions before - a walk or a bath or listening to a guided meditation can help bring a little new perspective.

But you are allowed to feel down, especially when life has been so unfair to you. Part of being human is feeling the full breadth of emotions.

Keep being kind to yourself. Remember that unkind thoughts and worrying fears do not serve you.

How I wish someone could take the pain away from those suffering here. We will get there though. There is always hope. Sending positive and loving vibes to all

Enjoy a too if you can x

Meant to mention you bumble too. And everyone else who has posted. Hope, trust, patience, acceptance, kindness, peace. These are the words we need to repeat to ourselves.

I have had my medication changed from sertraline to citalopram and am gaining weight rapidly , I hate it and am thinking of stopping it .

Hi oddcat, sorry if you said before, but why did you change from Sertraline to citalopram? Was it a bad reaction to Sertraline? Are you in a position to do more exercise? Or eat few calories? Sorry if that a stupid question and clearly oversimplifying the issue.

I must admit, I put weight on citalopram, but i managed to keep it to less than a stone and I was pretty slim to start with so the benefits were worth it.

I’m not on any medication at the moment, though not ruling it out for the future, potentially near future.

I’m feeling pretty low myself tonight, it’s so hard to summon the energy to help myself when I’m like this. Maybe I will put on a meditation as I can just lie there and listen. Am hoping part of it is tiredness, and if I sleep ok tonight then tomorrow might be better.

Sorry that you’re not feeling great , it’s horrible isn’t it? I didn’t get on at all with sertraline- I couldn’t sleep - at all - I was awake sometimes for 36 + hours and even then didn’t feel tired. I’m hardly eating anything, luckily I’m usually a size 8 but am creeping to a 12. I know I’m not big but I feel so uncomfortable. For the last week I’ve had smoothies and porridge to eat , I don’t pick at snacks throughout the day (hence always maintaining a size 8) .

TBH I think my anxiety and depression is linked to my daughter, if she’s ok ( and she’s not at the moment) then I’m ok . I strongly suspect she has bpd and is a nightmare to deal with.

It is horrible, really horrible. Do you feel that the citalopram is helping with your depression/well being?

I remember now, about your daughter, as I shared I have similar-ish problems with my DS. He doesn’t officially have MH problems (he’s only 12) but is very prone to feeling down and is generally a bit unpredictable and I feel like I tread on eggshells half the time. My MH is very related to how he is doing (and possibly vice versa).

Sorry to hear your DD is not doing well at the moment, I hope she has support in place? Are you pursuing the BPD diagnosis?

Maybe you should go back to GP and asked them about other options? It’s such a pain that ADs come with such side effects. Mental health is almost like the common cold - you’d think they’d have bloody well found a treatment that works by now! So frustrating!

I hope things look up for you and your DD very soon Oddcat.

Thanks MH I really appreciate that. I've had another rubbish day, feeling spaced and like my head's going to explode. I can't think straight I can't face anything.

Sorry to hear you and bobcat have dcs with difficulties too. It's heartbreaking isn't it.

bumble thinking of you too.

I don't normally post here but I'm feel really anxious and sick tonight like something awful,is going to happen. I feel tearful but I can't cry.

@Lkbbdg I hope your anxiety settled down? Do you often feel anxious?

I bloody hate anxiety, and it’s evil twin depression!

That said, I am feeling a whole load brighter today. Please let that bring hope to those struggling.

There is a really helpful poster on these boards called noego and she posted a Daniel Koepke quote on another thread (the self esteem one I think - worth a read). If you google him, there are lots of quotes that I think people on this thread will find useful.

Wishing peace and ease of being to all

it comes and goes, it's been ok for a while compared to how it's been in the past but yesterday morning was all doom and gloom.

How's everyone doing? It's snowing here so I'm tucked up on the sofa with blanket and chocolate and

Hello @colouringinpro and all. I have been a bit all over the shop, fine one minute, not the next. It’s exhausting.

This morning I felt low and could literally barely raise a smile, or if I forced myself, it felt so fake and so difficult. This evening is better, I often find I am better in the evenings, does anyone else find this?

Life can be so hard, and a couple of conversations I’ve had this week have made me realise that even those without MH issues have really down days and difficult things to cope with. Also that many people do have MH issues but just don’t let on. This doesn’t help with the stigma and feeling alone but I am as guilty as anyone of trying to hide my struggles.

An anonymous forum like this is therefore good support.

Keeping posting people, even if it’s just rambling - like this post!

Hope everyone is having a relatively gentle and peaceful evening, at least at this time of year hiding under a blanket is more socially acceptable! and and love to everyone x

Hi everyone. Can I join? Anxiety and depression have floored me and I’ve taken a week off work. I need to spend it on self care so that I can face the world again in a week. Today I started a gratitude journal and so far I’m grateful for the coming week as a chance to pause and look after myself. I’m not sure what else to do to get started so I’ve been reading your lovely ideas.