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Original poster

God in your relationship

147 replies

CaveDivingbelle · 04/12/2018 07:22

We are both active Christians, but OH much more so and has regular actual back and forth conversations with God he says. I'm ending up living on tenterhooks as he will inform me that he needs to talk about what God has told him in relation to us quite regularly...I guess im waiting for the axe to fall! Its an odd feeling, does anyone relate or have advice? For example today,he's said we need to talk seriously tonight..because God has been speaking..and that's it! So I'm left all today worrying..

OP posts:
exexpat · 05/12/2018 15:22

If you want more appropriate advice about how to get someone to accept help when they are in the grip of psychosis, maybe you should ask for this thread to be moved to the mental health topic, or post again there with a summary or link to this thread.

IdaBWells · 05/12/2018 15:38

It sounds like your DH has mental health problems that he should be seen for. That's the priority.

In terms of theology I am a practicing Catholic and marriage is a sacrament and a vocation in our understanding. So God is actively involved in a marriage and the marriage and any children are the priority in your spiritual life, I think most traditional faiths such as Judaism and Islam will be similar. What is a sin is abandoning those relationships and/or abusing them. Your faith should build up and strengthen the love and care in your marriage. One person in the marriage should not feel confused and intimidated by their partner's spirituality.

I really think first you need meaningful input for your husband's mental health and for your own sake support from a pastor with mature faith who has healthy relationships surrounding them.

It doesn't sound healthy at all that your husband's strange experiences are dictating the terms of your marriage. It should always be a shared experience where both partners imput is just as important.

You sound like you feel bullied and frightened which I would say is not spirituality but a reflection of your husband's mental health and state of mind. He does not sound healthy at all.

Do you have friends and family close by?

Jason118 · 06/12/2018 21:37

Yes, he's using the god delusion to control you either willingly (evil) or unwillingly (he's ill)

Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 06/12/2018 22:37

Just updating, I think he is in the grip of something, as he has now taken the o2 service breakdown of further proof of " the enemy" upping the ante as he becomes closer to a higher realm. He has been argumentative with me to the point of me not even knowing what he's arguing over. He accused me of not having thought about something deeply enough, even though I agreed with him ..so even agreeing was wrong. He then said he can't cope with my stubbornness and I need to pray. Who do I go to? What can I do? I feel paralysed..

OP posts:
headinhands · 06/12/2018 22:58

Have you suggested to him that he is actually dealing with a recurrence of his previous MH issues?

noego · 06/12/2018 22:59

Is there somewhere you can go to tonight? You need to get away for a while.

headinhands · 06/12/2018 23:00

His GP will only see him if your partner wants to so don't know how helpful it is to ring GP? I know the website Mind will have advice on supporting someone experiencing these feelings.

Justtickingboxes · 06/12/2018 23:09

He is mentally ill, OP. This is not a matter of faith or religion. I am religious, but this behaviour is not right. Get help urgently, for your own safety.

Borris · 06/12/2018 23:23

I agree he sounds unwell. Also think professional help is needed. This is beyond the scope of well meaning friends or your minister. They simply aren’t trained enough for this.

Does he have a previous mental health team that you can approach? Even if it’s just for advice if he won’t agree to see them.

Jason118 · 06/12/2018 23:32

You need the mental health crisis team if your local NHS has one, please get some help

Sandbox · 06/12/2018 23:32

Where can you go? A friend or family? Get out op.
I have two very religious people close to me, one has conversations with God and He only ever sends love and light.
The other sounds a lot like your other half and is a complete basket case.

Jason118 · 06/12/2018 23:38

Sandbox
They both sound like basket cases Smile

PandaG · 06/12/2018 23:46

I truly believe that God does speak in the here and now, in a similar way to it is recorded in the Bible. However, if someone is saying they have heard God, and use what they have heard to manipulate you it is either abusive, coercive or symptomatic of mental health issues. Please seek external help from a professional.

noego · 07/12/2018 08:04

@Cave

Just wondering how you're doing this morning.

I'm hoping that you have realised that you need to get away from this situation. This is something that you cannot resolve, The man needs professional help yet whilst his friend is on the scene I doubt he will seek it.
I think you should take steps to protect your well being and emotional health.
Flowers

Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 07/12/2018 08:36

Noego....I actually feel physically ill. And scared now..because he has been amazing and it's like some wierd switch has been flipped. I know I need to get away,I'm just gutted as I've come to rely on him so much..but I feel like he's totally alien to me now..Ive been through lots over the years and this feels like the last straw.

OP posts:
Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 07/12/2018 08:40

I think as one of the PP suggested,I need to link this thread up into the mental health section, I don't know how to...

OP posts:
exexpat · 07/12/2018 08:42

If you want to get the whole thread moved, just report your first post and ask MNHQ to move it for you - that's probably the simplest way. Shall I do it for you?

Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 07/12/2018 08:48

Thank you, that would be great.

OP posts:
noego · 07/12/2018 08:51

I'd have this thread switched to relationships. You'll get a lot more traffic and support.
It is becoming more obvious that you need to get way from this man and you need to seek help for your emotional well being. This may require you needing therapy, but the first course of action is to remove yourself completely and go NC.
I hope you have someone you can turn to, to help you do this.

exexpat · 07/12/2018 08:54

OK, I have asked for it to be moved - I am not sure how long it takes.

In the meantime, have you looked at the Mind advice on helping someone with mental health problems?

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/helping-someone-else-seek-help/#.XAoz2y10d8e

Unfortunately you cannot force him to seek help unless he is actively a danger to himself or others, and from what you say, it sounds like he is unlikely to accept that he is suffering from psychosis rather than communicating with god, so he is likely to get worse before anyone can step in. If in doubt, help the only person you can definitely help, which is yourself, and get away to safety. Do you have friends or family you can stay with or get support from?

MNHQ
AnyaMumsnet · 07/12/2018 10:31

Hi there everyone,

We're moving this to Mental Health for OP now.

exexpat · 07/12/2018 20:16

Hi CaveDiving, how are things this evening?

MoseShrute · 07/12/2018 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 07/12/2018 22:10

it's been calmer..but still certain things ( innocent innocuous comments) which he's leapt upon today and starts analysing to a degree you wouldn't believe. He won't seek help and is quite vociferous and aggressive if I even approach the subject

OP posts:
noego · 07/12/2018 22:36

@Cave

I feel that his 'alter ego' is just under the surface bubbling waiting to leap out at any moment.
I can only imagine the state you are in at this moment in time. As I have said before, please seek help to get out of this relationship.