Anyone have experience with bipolar?

[BippityBoppity87]

Sorry, already posted this on another thread, but I would be greatful for answers!

There had been mention of a bipolar diagnosis, don't know what to do. Ok I was a bit hyper in therapy today, but I'm just happy. I have to fill out a mood/depression chart thing and I have honestly had nothing to grumble about the past few weeks.

I've picked up more shifts at work, I don't need as much sleep, my spending has been a bit bad ok, I'll admit that, but I'm not in huge debt or anything. I get by. My DP said I sounded hyper on the phone after I left CBT this morning, but I was just being chatty? Nothing wrong with being a bit happy and chatty surely!

Does anyone have any experience of this?

I have an appointment on the 4th with my psychiatrist so at least I don't have to wait too long!

Such good news, that’s only a week or two isn’t it, and you can always call in between if you want. How’s today been?

Yeah, I have a therapy session before that. Better than I was, I still have butterflies in my stomach and I tried to have a nap this afternoon, which ended up in me hearing voices, which was horrible. Than I had horrible nightmares. So I'm not doing that again!

And I've spent all my money, again 🙄 I actually have no idea what I've spent it on! Cigarettes probably. So glad I get paid tomorrow!

I really have the urge to leapord print shoes. Would that be weird? I'm not sure if I'm just normal level happy right now or above it. It's hard to tell!

Just checking in with a quick hello, not a massive fan of leopard print personally but I’ve always been hopeless at dressing myself. Enjoying being at the age where clothes are chosen for comfort and practicality!

Did you have a good weekend?

Hi @WhyDidIEatThat I'm doing ok. Although I'm never this upbeat during the Winter so I'm feeling a bit suspicious! Black Friday has been a challenge, I did cave in and buy a few bits and now I'm really wanting to dye my hair. I was saying to my partner the other day, gosh I'm going to walk into therapy like a different person! And this is why I don't have a credit card!

And I was just thinking today, I can't remember the last time I cried. A few months ago, it was almost every day.

This slipped down ‘threads I’m on’, sorry for late response. Glad things generally okay, not crying has to be good? How’s therapy going? 💕

Hiya @WhyDidIEatThat I'm feeling much better. I feel like I've levelled out again. So now I'm going to feel a bit silly going to the appointment on Tuesday. Part of me thinks maybe it was just a 'blip' and a wierd reaction to the meds. I don't have another therapy appointment until Friday.

How are you?

I'm good at talking myself out of things though, and think well I'm fine now! So I must be ok!

It’s definitely worth going though, maybe they can prescribe something in case you have another ‘blip’?

I’m a bit moody at the moment, PIP assessment looming (moving from DLA) and it’s never helpful to have to focus on how shit everything can be 😕

I'm call it blips as it doesn't sound as bad in my head! Also because the first time I saw a psychiatrist was 11 years ago in hospital who called it a 'blip'. But I've probably had about 8 or 9 blips since then!

Oh gosh I can imagine. It must be very stressful too.

Oh god, I swear people in my work think I've lost my marbles. Had a major autocorrect fail texting my partner yesterday (thank god it was my partner!)

Meant to text 'I can't wait until my woolly coat gets delivered...' You can see where this is going...Willy. I texted willy coat well that set me off. Laughing like a loon in public on my own, literal tears. When I got to work I was still laughing about it! Oh well, at least I can laugh at myself!

You’re never bored when you can make yourself laugh 😀

Mainly at the expense of myself 😂 Oh well, I'm used to it. I've taken on extra days at work as well (usually I only do 3) but I'm doing 5 next week and then 4 days the week and two after. I'm thinking right, when will I have a melt down. I'm giving myself until Wednesday..

Just a wee update:

I had my therapy session today and I just flat out asked why I'm having to see the psychiatrist and she said, even though she can't diagnose, she suspects I have either bipolar 1 or 2 disorder. So we shall see!

At least it will be a relief that I'm not just going crazy!

At least it will be a relief that I'm not just going crazy!

Oh, but you are

That’s good news, hopefully you’ll get the help you need now.

Haha thanks!

All my life I've thought why do I behave like that or why on earth did I say that and then it would follow with quite bad depression as I would feel guilty about behaving the way I did. At least now I can think well it's not my fault, I can't help it.

I never knew shift patterns could affect it as well. As I mentioned if I worked quite a lot of late shifts it would make me feel quite low, but she said it's quite common in mood disorders, so at least now I know I'm not being a moody cow for the sake of it!

Shift work is crap, sends me all out of whack, always end up in a crushing depression. I work in the care profession and it’s incredibly difficult to get a job with fixed day shifts.

May I ask, just of of interest really, what age your symptoms started?

Btw, be prepared for it possibly not being bipolar, there are a few conditions with very similar symptoms.

Probably when I was about 15/16 I had pretty bad depression. Then when I went to Uni at 18 I went completely the other way, that lasted a while, then I crashed again and went to the gp as I thought I just had run of the mill depression, put on tablets, sent me manic came off them. And then had a couple of episodes on and off since then. I'm 31 now.

I just assumed I had seasonal affective disorder or ADHD.

This year needs to do one. From start to finish it's been a shit show.

Started off in January getting hurled abuse, a&e twice, almost being sectioned, twice. Tearing a ligament in my knee, someone stealing my pram and to top it all off probably getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I actually think I'm going to lose the plot. Someone somewhere is testing my patience or has a voodoo doll of me somewhere.

Last night I actually lost the plot as I believed God was testing me and then my rosery beads broke! So that set me off, I just snapped.

And drank the best part of a bottle of gin and just cried. I know the gin probably didn't help.

Im so sorry, I didn’t see your reply.

I know you feel shit but alcohol will only make things worse.

What do you mean you “snapped”? Where is your partner in all this? Can you or he not phone the crisis team when you are in a state? Ask for some diazepam for such episodes?

My partner took my son round to his mums and they stayed there for the night as I was in no state to look after him. He almost did ring someone as I actually believed I was a disciple sent from God and this was why all these things were happening. Took my rosary beads for protection and they broke, so was convinced there was an evil presence in the house mocking me.