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Original poster

Panic attack - can someone hold my hand

113 replies

ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:09

Currently in the grips of a panic attack and need talking down. Is anyone out there? Full of self loathing and have tried taking a few different tablets to calm me down and now nothing has worked panicking about the tablets. Is anyone able to hold my hand and help me calm down? Sorry to ask x

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Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:47

@Luvly12 sometimes I want to cry about everything that's happened for the last 30 years since I arrived but I just don't know if I'd be able to stop / what use it would do. I feel I need to learn how to experience sadness / disappointment with things without feeling I'm letting myself down or making a fuss.

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MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 22:48

I used to write lists to slow my brain down. Little things (only little for now) I wanted to achieve, and then little step by step ( in minute detail) of how to do them. It could take an hour to write a list of a 2 minute task. It probably helped me as I'm a gigantic nerd!!!! I used different colour pens and everything. It just slowed my brain down and was a gentle sense of achievement.

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:48

Oh my god I just took an actual deep breath. This is helping you are all so lovely. Now getting the catholic guilt about you spending time helping me but I'd appreciate it a little longer if any of you can spare time x

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Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:50

I think to be honest the best thing for me would be a spell in rehab / inpatient facilities but I'm too scared I'd never get out again

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MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 22:50

Ah Catholic guilt. I got a shit tonne of that!!! Irish catholic at that!!!!

Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 22:50

Doesn't matter what it will do and believe me you will stop. I think you're trying to keep it all under control and in check so you won't let yourself down.

Fuck it. Make a fuss. Cry. Scream. Punch the fucking pillow.

Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 22:52

Irish Catholic here too !
Fuck that guilt shit OP. None of us are being forced to be on the thread and can leave at any time

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:52

@MistyReturns ah got the same here, so I do! My family like to say all the bad things I've been through were given to me because I can cope with them and I've taken them away from another girl who couldn't.

Guess what? I didn't want them and I HAD to cope I had no other choice.

Needless to say I am staunchly atheist, though no problem with (and slightly jealous of) those who believe. Just don't tell me your god chose me to suffer when I was just a lovely little girl!

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Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:53

@Luvly12 oh my goodness even just hearing that and me having a moan on here has slightly eased my breathing at least. It's so nice to hear it's not my job to always be brave. It would be weird if I WASNT angry after all the shit right?!

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MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 22:54

I'm put off for life!!! Although I love churches (to look at).

Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 22:54

Exactly. Then there WOULD be something wrong with you! Grin

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:56

My family would be sad if I had little ones and didn't get them Christened but I always say I want them to be nice because they WANT to be nice not because they're scared of hell! Makes sense right?!

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MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 22:56

My family are more likely to believe I'm being judged for all my sin Grin
God - if they knew the half of it GrinGrin. I sinned a LOT when I was younger (and enjoyed every hell paved second).

Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 22:57

God bless you Vicky, I'm lighting a candle for your soul tonight and will keep you in my prayers . . .. sound familiar ???? GrinGrin

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:58

@MistyReturns @Luvly12 I think I love you both a little bit xx

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Dancer12345 · 10/10/2018 22:58

Hope you’re feeling a bit better. I used to have house rabbits - tell me about yours!

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:59

Oh my goodness - the candles!!!!!!! Sure that'll make it all better. Also being included in Sunday prayers on the list of people to pray for... jeez!

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Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 22:59

Don't... I'm actually a troll Grin

MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 22:59

Didn't get mine christened. If they want to be christened, baptised, bar mitzvahed- whatever. I'll support them, but not my decision to make for them. I didn't get married in a church either.

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 22:59

@Dancer12345 thanks so much for being here. My house bunny is cute, sassy and bossy and I love her so much. I swear she knows when I'm sad, they're amazing creatures aren't they?x

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Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 23:00

@Luvly12 Oh god if I have to Add "fell in love with the poo troll" to my list of issues I might actually give up! X

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MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 23:02

My dog always knows. She's like a shadow when I have a bad attack. If she's sat almost on top of me, but not putting any weight on me it's a huge clue to the family!!! She knows what I hide from everyone else.

Luvly12 · 10/10/2018 23:03

Vicky you're doomed. Doomed I tell ya!

MistyReturns · 10/10/2018 23:03

Meh - 10 Hail Marys sorts most things out Grin

Original poster
ItsABeatifulDayNow · 10/10/2018 23:05

I should get some panic attack rosary beads 🙄

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