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Original poster

Need to talk - need distracting - can you talk to me

156 replies

tulips · 13/06/2007 19:48

I am falling apart

I need distrating

I know I need to talk but I cant pick up the phone

I have come on here to see if this helps

talk to me

please

OP posts:
Original poster
tulips · 13/06/2007 21:24

I am in London

My DC wil be fine, I have done all I can to make sure they are

DH is doing fine at the moment too, but we can't escape the fact that his ilness will kill him

There is no point in spelling out the details. I ahve done so before. Many times. And no one can do anyting. I can't find anyone else to empathjise with

I am the weak on right now

I need to find a disappearing tool

OP posts:
EllieG · 13/06/2007 21:25

Where are you tulips?

EllieG · 13/06/2007 21:28

Sorry crossed posts.
Your DC will not be fine. It is hard but you are needed and important. I am so sorry about you DH - if you don't mind me asking, what illness does he have? There might be some support groups near you?

lucy1975 · 13/06/2007 21:28

Tulips,
Have you just got depression or have you got a more severe mental illness?
It sounds like you may need more than AD's & maybe would respond to some atypical anti psychotic medication or benzodiazepines (tranqilisers), there are drugs that could help along with a talking therapy, maybe your gp isn't too dynamic, maybe u could ask your cpn?
I hope I don't sound patronising, just really trying to think of something that may help. lol xx

Original poster
tulips · 13/06/2007 21:34

thank you allk for your kind words

DH is a Haemophilica and has chroncic hepaticis C + - there are no support groups. It killls them all eventually

I am on the strongest medicat5ion possible. It only enables me to get up and be able to put the washing on and get everyone out of the house in teh morning. Nothing will change the fact that I am a freak and tehre ius nothing to be done for it. The depression is only the icing on the cake lol

if only I could lol

OP posts:
tribpot · 13/06/2007 21:37

any of these hep c groups any good? The only thing I know about it is that didn't Jeanie off ER have it? (But she was a bit like - hello, I already have HIV). My sympathies to you.

Why are you a freak for being freaked by what's happening? We all would be. You're not coping badly. We would all struggle.

lulumama · 13/06/2007 21:38

you are not a freak, i know you are not

Original poster
tulips · 13/06/2007 21:41

that list is v good, thank you

I keep picking up the phone to the samaritans at the moment hten putting it down agbain

what can they do?

what can anyone do?

noting

OP posts:
lulumama · 13/06/2007 21:42

don;t understimate the power of talking, adn just being listend to, non judgemnetally

tribpot · 13/06/2007 21:43

What can they do? Who knows, unless you talk to them Let's face it, they won't make it worse, so it's worth a try.

Original poster
tulips · 13/06/2007 21:47

sometimes talking makes thins worse

sometimes I hjave so much to say there isnt time

i just wanbt to cry and cry and cry and cry

but I can't even do that now

OP posts:
lulumama · 13/06/2007 21:54

cry if you need to

Dior · 13/06/2007 21:55

Message withdrawn

Original poster
tulips · 13/06/2007 22:05

thanks everyone

x

OP posts:
lulumama · 13/06/2007 22:06

me too , must sleep..you try and get some rest too xxxx

TranquilaManana · 13/06/2007 23:53

tulips
i just want to say ive read your thread.
and i care.
if youre checking htis every now and then and arent in bed yet... someone else cares. im going to bed (shouldve been there hours ago) but i didnt want to go without saying goodnight. i wish i could say/do/be/fix even a little more... but at least i can hold out my hand to you...
dont give up.
you are so much more than you think you are.
ive been there too. its nothing to be ashamed of. really. thats just the illness talking.
xxx

lulumama · 14/06/2007 08:53

tulips

hope that this morning, even if things feel no better, they are no worse

x

EllieG · 14/06/2007 08:58

HOw you doing this morning tulips?

Dior · 14/06/2007 09:21

Message withdrawn

reikizen · 14/06/2007 12:12

Hi there tulips...Just checking in.

Original poster
tulips · 14/06/2007 18:24

Thank you everyone on this thread for talking to me last night. I was very touched by your considerate words and reassurance. I am sorry for my stupid drunken posts. I am very cross with myself for coming on here. Please ignore me.

OP posts:
Califrau · 14/06/2007 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lulumama · 14/06/2007 18:36

did not come across as drunk or stupid

just a desperately unwell, unhappy woman, trying to do her best and get through the day

EllieG · 14/06/2007 21:25

Don't be cross with yourself, you're having a tough time. No one minds providing a bit of support. Can you find some help in RL too?

TranquilaManana · 14/06/2007 22:21

oh please dont be cross. please, for me, promise to take care of yourself just a little each day... i always feel like that 'no, dont look at me, pretend i never said anything' after ive been really desperately low... its a normal part of the process. next time you are feeling so cross with yourself, remind yourself that that is just another symptom. it will pass, so dont give it the credence it asks for.
give yourself a break. you are amazing.