Hi, im not really sure were to start really. So ill try keep it short. Me and my ex partner of 4 years planned to have a child but after i got pregnant he walked out when i was 5months gone and ive been on my own ever since. He is in her life but doesnt really step up alot hes more like a glorified babysitter who has her every other weekend then maybe in between if i beg him so i can help out at work etc.
I didnt expect to be a single mum so my whole life has been flipped upside down my daughter is now 18months and i love her more than anything in the world. There has been some hard times and probably a fair few more to come but i wouldnt change being a mum for the world. I live on my own with my daughter, So thats my set up that has led me where i am now.
I originally went back to work full time after maternity but it was too much trying to handle a full time job and being a full time single mum not to mention the child care costs. So now i work avg 20 hours a week. I racked up alot of debt when i was on maternity as i had no savings and when my ex walked out i suddenly unexpectatly had to pay all the house bills on my own aswell as provide for a new baby. So have been struggling alot with money
Sorry im blabbing on. So i have started an IVA to try and sort my debts out but i just feel like its one thing after another
Im now left with so much spare time and one on one time with my daughter which i love but i find she just gets bored. I had to give up my car so lost that independance and i cant afford to even take her to a play centre i struggle to even feed myself sometimes she is always provided for though.
I generally just feel like i could be doing so much more i just feel de motivated, alone and just like i cant be bothered i just sit on my phone all day doing nothing (onvs watching the daughter at the same time) i play games with her and read and stuff but i run out of ideas and admittly cant be bothered. Im tired allll of the time and just want to sleep in the day but i cant.
I just feel like my life has come to a stand still and i have no self enjoyment or passion for anything. Sorry for the long post 🙈 i dont want to go to the doctor i feel they have more important cases to deal with and havent tried to sort myself out this is the first ive said anything. Just wondering if anyone has any advice if anyone has experienced anything similar TIA xx