Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

[Fairydust26]

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

Good days and bad. Today is okay.

@throwawayagain I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. Anxiety is so physically and mentally exhausting I'd rather run a marathon - at least you'd get something out of it.

I've been on antidepressants since 12 so not known much different. But anxiety seems to come and go throughout the day - sometimes I'm fine, sometimes not fine at all.

Also unless I'm hyperventilating my Mum seems to think I'm not all that anxious.

I think CBT can be an excellent way to try and make your brain rethink how it views things - though if it's chemical imbalances instead of environment I'm not sure how effective halting anxiety it is.

Does anything in particular trigger it off? I have agoraphobia so don't like open spaces/high ceiling buildings etc.

I can be pretty wimpy as it is which is a pain because I'm relatively intelligent, friendly and want to try new things.

I feel a mess sometimes as I'm registered blind, have depression/anxiety and never feel good enough and always envy others.

I hope your thoughts settle down a bit. 💐

throwawayagain Hand holding for you I know how horrid the waves of anxiety can be, I seem to be doing okay with it at the moment but as we know it’s always lurking around the corner ready to cripple you again!. Has the dr offered you a different type of meds if they’re not agreeing with you? Like Iblinkedandiamold I’m on Sertraline as well which I’ve found works well for me.

Thank you.
I've been through Mirtazipine (awful) and fluoxetine (unhelpful).
I'm starting to wonder whether any meds will help. Scary thought.
Appreciate the hand holds.

I'm agnostic but I do believe in a higher power. Our relationship has been very tested this past year. Yesterday morning our dog was attacked by a larger dog. My dh was more traumatised than the dog, but was a great dad, took him to the vets and cleaned out his wounds and did meds. Call it karma or God testing us, I don't believe in coincidence anymore, too many unlikely things have happened at specific times for me to be atheist. My first psychotic episode was a very spiritual experience. I got good sleep again yesterday and now my dh and baby are fast asleep. My dhs family have serious mh issues and to cope with the stress yesterday evening he cleaned the house from top to bottom. Alcohol is the one thing I've not mentioned as I don't want social services involved. My dh has been t total in the past and said he'd never drink around children... We are all relaxed and doing well today.

Great to hear Embrace. I really hope that your DH sticks to not drinking in front of the child but it sounds like he's really trying which is what is really important.

I too got a great nights sleep for the first time in I don't know how long. Must have worn myself out walking.
I am still exhausted today and my body aches.

I'm spirling, I text DS at 2.30pm. The message hasn't delivered yet. I am worried unnessarly I know but still.
I don't want to ring him as I'm sure he's just in from work and probably tired bit part of me is thinking irrational thoughts. What if he blocked by number. What if GF and her parents are talking Shite again.
He unfriended me on Facebook in March which shattered my heart.
You'd think I was some horrible abusive mother but I am not.
We were so close two years ago. It's not just me he's freezing out but my family too and his friends.

She sounds incredibly emotionally abusive @Iblinkedandiamold - I think all you can do is be there for him when he realises what she's like.

It's horrible to be on the sidelines and watching.

I slept well after spending over an hour or so petrified the house was on fire or going to be soon. There was a weird tick tick noise kept thinking it was flames or the dogs tail igniting the hob (I know, sounds ridiculous).

Doctors appointment at 10.10am so here's hoping they suggest something.

Good luck at the doctors Nota. I ended up doing some breathing excersise and reading to calm myself down. I am tracking my sleep via an app. I managed 6 hours last night. Had some really strange dreams though.
Still feeling better today.

Went to doctor and he prescribed mirtizipine for at night (?) but read up on it and it can cause severe weight gain and nightmares and shicidal thoughts so don't want to take.

I'm overweight already I do not need need more lbs added.

That's a hard one Nota. Maybe only take it as a last resort? I don't know much about medication.
I hate noises at night. My immersion is on a timer and in the middle of the night for some reason it makes a bang noise. The first time it happened I thought the it was going to explode.

I am trying to keep myself busy so I don't think too much. On the agenda today is painting my bathroom. Just have to get motivated now.

I forgot how much I hate painting.

We watched the first episode of season 6 Orange is the new black yesterday. Baby loved and fell asleep to the opening credits with all the faces. it was really good, a focus on Suzanne and psycosis. She rembers her mothers words and imagines her in the room before saying something along the lines of, 'I've not had my medicine and I'm reacting to all this 'other inmates'. I'm not crazy, I'm chemically imbalanced.'

The rains finally arrived here feels like a breath of fresh air😊 how you all doing?.

Finished my bathroom. Sense of achievement. Doing the kitchen and sitting room next. Spent ages filling up small holes. Tomorrow I'll wash the walls ready for painting on Wednesday.

Haven't watched Orange is the new Black yet. I am currently watching Breaking Bad and loving it.

Hi everyone hope you don’t mind me jumping in mid conversation. Could just really do with some support 😣. I started my Sertraline 50mg last night, was absolutely petrified of taking it, I woke up with a horrible wave of anxiety but luckily it passed, I felt very jittery and like my face was twitching, had a wave of sickness but that passed too. So really it wasn’t TOO bad, much better than I was expecting. I’ve felt poorly all day but I’ve been feeling poorly anyway lately just from stressing myself out so much I think. Anyway it’s come to tonight and I’m stressing so much about taking my second tablet. Will I be worse tomorrow? Will I have more side affects? Will I cope on my own with my 2 children? I’m just going over and over these thoughts in my head and really working myself up over it 😣. I feel so alone even though I do have support. But during the day everyone is at work and I feel I have no one to turn to or lend a hand. I just want to be better. I’m so scared 😣 I don’t like feeling strange so the side affects are a massive deal for me 😣. I wish I knew how many days/weeks it would be before I’d feel ok

Sorry you're having a crap time of it Harlevie. I posted on your other thread. I didn't really notice any side effects when I took it. I was so low before I took, i just assumed it took a while for them to kick in. I was also on sleep tablets which helped me at night.
Now I am trying to go walking in the evening to tire myself out so I won't think when I go to bed.

Thanks for your reply. Just knowing I have no support tomorrow is really getting me down. I feel like I need a distraction to get through it. I’m really facing a big fear by going on these tablets in the first place. My mum has said why don’t I just not take one tonight and then carry on tomorrow night and then she’ll be home on Wednesday and for the rest of the week to give me support. But then I feel like a massive failure if I don’t take one tonight. I wish I wasn’t so scared

It's natural to scared. You're worried you won't be able to take care of your children.
I work in childcare and this medication didn't effect my ability to work with them in fact it made it better, I was more patient with them and not faking it like before. I began to enjoy my work again. Slowly I am beginning to feel more like me.
Is there anywhere you can go with the children, to a play centre or a park or is that too much for you at the moment? Have you any friends to call on?
My own son has just moved out, hense all the painting and exercising. If I didn't do it I would be a basket case.

@Harlevie the first week or so can feel a bit odd. I was a bit juniper iirc (was 14 so ages ago). Oh and I kept having weird eye and leg twitches. Annoying, but nothing serious.

You're not a failure for wanting help. That's what family are for.

My Dad is getting some tests done the next few days and I'm worried about him. Ever since I can remember I've always worried about my parents dying or getting ill.

Nota I hope everything goes okay. I worry about my father too. He just turned 70 and although he looks good I can see the signs of aging on him and I can't/ don't want to imagine life with either him or my mother in it.
Harlevie it's great that you confided in your family and they are there to support you.

@Hasbirabbi I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. When I did training in Rape Crisis they talked about a new project coming up so men could have safe spaces to talk.
Abuse is abuse no matter the abuse, sexuality or social standing.
However, I do advise any female reading not to contact you from here because they don't know you and could be putting themselves in danger. On the same regard, be careful who you invite to join you as not everyone has good intentions. I hope you don't take offence.

I don't take offence as that is the impersonal, inhumane face that I am quite used to.
Apparently being a man means 'danger'. That is fine, as long as being a woman means the same.
Also, I am not interested in talking but working, and it is a pretty open request to men, women or small groups.
I do agree that people should be careful, that is kind of obvious and most people have enough common sense to evaluate for themselves; but really, being patronised is not acceptable and reflects back onto the source of that.

Harlevie hope your feeling better today and the side effects aren’t too harsh for you. I’ve been on a low dose of them for just over a year now and they defiantly help so hang in there it gets better soon.