Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

undercover you are completely justified in ringing up the doctor and asking for a blood test TODAY if you are feeling unable to function. Please don't feel that it is just a "mental" attitude...it could be physical symptoms of some deficiency, even if you are eating well/enough.

I have woken up today feeling incredibly tired having left the heating on all night! Two kids off to school and one has gone to a friend's house to go church, the eldest (17)was like death warmed up and I had to wake him three times and he was still late. I kept saying it is better to be late than not go in, because he has a phobia about being late. Feel a bit frazzled by it all, and I hate these cold dark mornings. However, I think I can get through today if I press on with the tidying and hoovering, and start putting some clothes in a suitcase. It all feels insurmountable, but when I start, it will get better.

knitting - I have had blood tests. I am very healthy, physically, with exceptionally high Vit D levels for someone who lives in this climate all year. I am an outdoorsy person.

Somehow I am dressed and eating a boiled egg and toast.

I have text my boss to say I am going to be late and am struggling. I think I need to keep the momentum going somehow.

sorry, Under I didn't mean to sound so bossy

How is everyone feeling today hope all is well?😊

Hi all, been following this thread and thinking if you all, a lot that has been said that resonates with me. bit too late to join? Going through an awful time of it lately, can understand how hard it can be :(

Actually scared to say it but felt a bit better today, slight wobble this morning going out to tescos but managed it!
My counsellor actually said because of my catastrophising I'm constantly waiting for something to go wrong and it's my preparedness forbthe worst that's stopping me enjoying amy anxiety free spells.
Gave me a lot to think about!
Come on in lawdavmercy

Of course not Lawdavmercy anyone’s welcome😊 that’s what I feel like bigfatmeanie Even when things are going well in the back of my mind the anxiety’s always waiting to latch onto something!. I’m glad the counsellings going well for you.

Thanks :) Not heard the term catastrophising before, but I used to be accused of deliberately looking for things to worry about, as I "liked to be miserable". Grrrr. Would never choose to be this way,can't help myself at the moment...

Welcome Lawdavmercy. I can't understand the way some people think its so easy to snap out of this. I've heard it said that you can choose to worry or not but its a lot more complicated than that.

no, catastrophising is an horrible horrible sensation to be locked into, at its worse it can just cause paralysis.

I once went to a holiday cottage with dh and three kids, one of my catastrophe issues was to do with leaving the house sufficiently clean on vacating the premises, and the landlady who came for keys complaining. Dh kept explaining patiently to me that even "clean" in the contract meant that a cleaner would be going over it before the next tenant, and I didn't have to deep clean the property before leaving it. In the end he had to send me to the station with the kids, in order that he personally could do the key handover because I was so paralysed by the idea of giving a not clean enough house back to the landlandy. Now I would say to myself - the worst that can happen IS:
the landlady complains b) she charges me an extra fee (max £40) c) she thinks we are filthy family but says nothing and we never have to see her again!!!! That is catastrophising about everyday demands/problems - turning stressful situations into really impossibly stressful situations. My stomach would be in knots and I would feel like crying and curling up in a ball, and it was meant to be a holiday!!!!!

and of course the more catastrophising the less actual cleaning I did.

Today is going a bit better. Dcs have been great, and I've done some revision with one of them. not really done much on my list, but at least some washing, hoovered ds room badly and had a brief nap. And talked to quite a few friends today on the phone.

Knitting its awful. I make stressful situations into catastrophies when in reality they are not.
I'm off on holiday on Friday and anybody else would be excited, looking forward to it, making plans but not me. I've worried about all manner of things. What if this happens, what if that happens. On and on. People have been asking me if I'm excited and I'm having to lie. Currently I'm anxious and looking forward to getting home! Once I get there I know I will enjoy it but I do this every time.
And I get jealous when I see stuff on Facebook of people on holiday/ doing stuff. It doesn't make sense

And I've got a stinking awful cold!!

Hello everyone.
Rotten cold here as well.
I've been thinking about how to try and tackle this anxiety and the best way forward. Meds have not done much for me in the past and the idea of CBT and changing the way you think about things sounds so good but I really don't believe I can do it. I really don't think I can change the way I think. My mind is too stubborn and I think I will never be able to change. Is this where I am failing at CBT? Would a different type of counselling be more appropriate?

I did my CBT with a clinical pyschologist and they start by looking at your world view and what might have formed it, ie early influences, self image and how that might affect your response to events. And then take it from there. It might be that fear of failing is based on a failure/trauma in the past or conversely the idea that you can never be less than perfect or it doesn't "count"/is not worth doing, your essential self is based on having to be happy and perfect for those around you. Once you know some of the underlying reasons, you can move forward, often in fits and starts but that's alright I reckon

I think "habits" are such important things to humans and other animals and necessary for their survival, that to retrain the mind into a completely new "habit" either of fear or desire is always going to be a difficult process. I don't think it is stubborness to resist, more that there has to be a lot of justification for changing a habit, supported by evidence in real time. Hardwired instincts, like protecting our young from harm, or protecting ourselves from harm are going to compete with other sorts of evidence.

I'm on a waiting list for CBT but share your fears, Tarragona, I don't dare imagine I can think any differently than this. I'd be happy with fits and starts knitting, i suspect i know what the underlying reasons are behind how I'm feeling but it can't change the situation I'm in, which is the reason I'm depressed. I guess counselling can help with perspective - your situation can't change but how you deal with it can??? I've no idea!?! I'm hardwired to be negative I think, maybe my world view is skewed to see the worse in things and I'm screwing up my life because of it?? Hope this makes sense!

I've no idea what the underlying reasons are Lawdavmercy. I've had no childhood traumas or anything but maybe there is a reason and counselling would get to the bottom of it. I'm not convinced that CBT would do it though.
That's very interesting knitting. It most certainly is a habit. I do think I would benefit from talking through things in depth and seeing where it leads. Thanks for your insight.

I think a lot of counselling can be very patronising, when you have a serious problem to deal with, and it is not catastrophising at all to talk about that problem and how it affects you. I think the best thing is to be completely open about how much some things have devastated you, both to yourself and a select few or even just one person and dont be fobbed off with it was for best or shit happens etc. Certainly talking to older people who have dealt with a crippling bereavement, terminal illness, financial misfortune, prison sentence, chronic condition, I see it never ever goes away (ie death of a child) but you learn some accommodation with it. But only on your own terms, not because someone tells you to see the world in a different light.

Evening all. Hope you are all ok and doing as best you can.

I have often wondered if there is a root cause to anxiety and catastrophising. I suppose it is different for everyone.

My bereavement when my younger sister died was traumatic for many reasons. But looking back I was always a bit nervy and jumpy, but I have no idea why. Sister's death obv brought it all out. No other traumas or abuse or anything like that at all.

Can one suffer from this awful stuff for no reason? I suppose we can. Maybe we are people pleasers, or perfectionists, or just plain old worriers!

In my mum's time she would often whisper that neighbour X "suffers with her nerves". I can totally see that now.

But every good day, minute, hour is a good one. I suppose we have to keep trying.

I am not a fan of CBT either. But it was probably the wrong time for me. May try it again in the New Year.

Crippling anxiety is awful. High five everyone and hope you are all ok.

I only had a six week course of telephone CBT and maybe it was the wrong time for me. I self referred when I was going through a bad patch and by the time I got it I was feeling OK. Therefore I didn't engage with it, just went through the motions and thought I knew more than the therapist, having read a lot about it beforehand. I felt she was reading from a script and tbh I ended up just saying stuff so she could tick her boxes and get it over with.
I was also quite a nervy kid and remember worrying about stuff and being unable to talk to my mum about anything that was worrying me. Maybe this is something I need to delve into deeper.

Hi everyone. I am feeling better today. Yesterday I made it to work and being productive helped my self-esteem (although I had to start very slowly and cautiously to prevent a panic attack). I had a long, brisk walk at lunchtime and a monster session at the gym last night - exercise is vital for me.

Now I am back on the planet I realise that Christmas is happening and I am scared that this will push me low again. How do we avoid all this Christmas nonsense? It's Christmas Jumper Day tomorrow and I don't own any jumpers. I am a hot person and I only own sports hoodies for practical reasons. I don't support the charity either (questionable ethics on the management side) and this is bothering me too.

Glad you are feeling a bit better undercover. Sod Christmas jumper day, I don't partake. A few people raise eyebrows but I'm not buying a Christmas jumper I'll never wear for no reason.

I've had a very stressful morning. Took ds to see Santa at a local country store. Expected it to be quiet as it was Thursday morning. Unfortunately there was a huge nursery group in and the queue looked about an hour long!

I went to the cash desk to ask if we could come back later and ds proceeded to have a meltdown. I was in tears and a lovely member of the public gave me a hug and told me I was doing great. I explained to staff that he has suspected autism and they went to get a manager who arranged for us to bypass the queue and go straight to Santa.

Santa was amazing with him. He looked like he was going to start another meltdown but Santa's Haribo and marshmallows saved the day.

Ds is back at nursery. I've had my kcr therapy. Now going to have a nice bath and read a trashy mag.

How is everyone else doing today?

Yes, sod those bloomin jumpers! Christmas gloom has started for me already...my anxiety revolves around awful parents in my daughter's school playground, I'm being exiled by them all due to a particularly toxic set of parents and I'm keeping my head down. It's an old chestnut, the whole bullying parents thing but it's getting me so down. And now with the kids Xmas carol concerts etc, I have to see them in my own time too, ugh. And work parties etc, nooo I just want to hide from the world until new year. Or until dd leaves school, got ages yet tho :( Hope everyone gets through the next few weeks OK, one day at a time...

I promise I put paragraphs in my post. No idea why it has posted as one!