Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi

[Fairydust26]

going through abit of a crappy time with anxiety/health anxiety at the mo so thought it would be a good idea to create this thread. I always find that when I’m feeling anxious writing it down makes me feel a little bit better so hopefully some of you might too and we can support each other through this crappy time as I know it can make you feel pretty lonely. I’m trying to not drag myself back to bed and write today off so I’ve made a cuppa put the heating on sat by the xmas tree and going to try and have a clam Saturday so come say hi

Jumping on board. Spent 2 hours on the phone with Best F this am which helps........ I always get like this at the end of the year - and am usually ill with a chest infection - really stressed with work.

My counsellor says that I've been so used to being in fight or flight mode for so long (I could write a bloody book) that I don't know how to be any other way. I'm re-reading the happiness trap and the naked mind. My go to calming down method is at the bottom of a bottle of red wine and logically I know that is ridiculous and is perpetuating the anxiety AND knocking out the effect of the citalopram I've just had to increase.

She's a godsend.... as is the hypnotherapist I'm seeing.

I'm going to start journalling at Christmas (I'm pretty sure DH has bought me a lovely journal - the angel - he puts up with so much with this)

I just need to get to Thursday, then Friday = travel to my lovely MIL for a few days - feet up and stress down.

Big hugs everyone...... and OP finding this thread and having another outlet to vent has really helped today. Thank you

Welcome Trooperslane2 so true what you say about being in flight or fright mode for so long that you don’t know how to be any different! .I’ve just downloaded the happiness trap so hopefully it’s a good read? Love the idea of journaling always feel better once I’ve written all my thoughts and worries down, hopefully you can get through the rest of the week stress free one day at a time

today has been pretty horrendous...all small stuff but I can see this getting worse until I am actually on that plane! today we argued about seat allocations, how to get to the airport (resolved both) what time to get up in the morning on day of travel...my enormous list doesn't seem to be changed crossed out in any way, as I've discovered several other things that need doing.
RESOLVES..never ever to go on holiday at Christmas again, just not worth it.

most of the suitcases are semi packed, but there are so many loose ends it just does my head in! (ie where is my swimsuit - is it in the inncredibly messy car under piles of recycling that I haven;t yet had time to take to the tip? Or possibly in some special place that I thought was cleverly organised 3 months ago, when I cleared out cupboard under the stairs)

I've also managed to miss Mass, again. Ds2 is getting stressed at thought of being in taxi with his brother in 4 days time. I could continue.

Need to cook supper now.

Crap day here. Dp in a massive mood, passive aggressively tidying. Asked him what his problem was. Apparently I never clean or tidy anything, I am fat and a crap mum. He is superman because for tidying once in a blur moon and I am useless because I put washing on and forgot to hang it up.

What a b**d. How dare he? I would write down your thoughts at this moment and keep them as a record of his behaviour. I hope he apologises, and/or has extenuating circs of his own It is NEVER alright to call someone a crap mum "useless" or to criticise their appearance - what on earth does he hope to gain from this? Dh and I have been arguing today, he criticised my failure to book seats, it is truly horrible arguing, but I am beginning to think Christmas is fertile ground fro everyone to get extremely bad tempered with each other. Anyway a big hug to you, and stand tall, and demand an apology.

I just pulled him up on it. Said he was completely out of order, especially in front of ds. His dad wouldn't talk to his mum like that so how dare he do it to me. He started arguing back so I cut in and said I was looking for an apology. I got a sorry. It wasn't very heartfelt but it's more than I usually get. Sertraline must be working as I would never have stood up for myself like that before! I was pretty calm and collected, I am proud.

dh cooked supper! And then got cross because ds2 inadvertently ate the last handshaped hamburger. However, everyone now seems to be fine. We had a big discussion about why I get so anxious when travelling. I said it was to do with PTSD from travelling with three small children so frequently on my own, all of whom spent journeys quarrelling and demanding things or running off. He pointed out this was no longer the case and I was in Red Alert mode for no reason and he usually did all the work when we travelled. He is right actually.

Future you should be proud! Fantastic that he apologised. Fantastic you stood up for yourself.

That's great that he cooked supper and actually talks to you. DP does not understand or care about my anxiety. He is currently sulking sitting watching tv and ignoring me.

could you write him a note saying you are feeling a bit better since starting on the setraline and you do appreciate him helping; also is he feeling overwhelmed too - you would understand if he was. It is hard being a parent and sharing a household.

Dh gets very irritated by my anxiety. He has his own anxieties however, so whenever they surface he gets a bit of perspective. We each have different worries and they affect us differently. I used to find the things that annoyed him utterly exasperating, I mean who cares who gets the last hamburger!!!!??? Dh actually gets very upset at the thought of people not sharing, I just see it as normal human behaviour

The laugh of it is I work more hours than him, do all the shopping, cooking, washing and washing of pans etc. We have a cleaner that does most of the other stuff. He literally fills the dishwasher once in a blue moon and mows the lawn (which is the size of a postage stamp). That's why I was so pissed off!

It's fucking Monday again. It's dark and probably raining again. Going to work sounds insurmountable. The boredom, the irritability, the fakeness, the monotony, the constant fear of being noticed or spoken to ........

to you all.

Sadly coming back on board...I was here a while ago, over a year maybe. I self weaned myself off Citalopram 20mg about 6 months ago (maybe more), I had been on it a few years & also had cbt, after I started forgetting to take it and realised my heart wouldn't explode in my chest & I had a sense of peace.

My initial Anxiety dx came about after my Mum had been diagnosed with AML, I ended my emotionally abusive marriage and I had a huge self confidence knock.

Since then, my DM has died (life defining), I sold the marital home and I have moved and met the most wonderful supportive man in the world.

My anxiety has started to raise it's head. The house I bought had been empty for 2 years and needed renovation (it's very old), I have spent so much money and it is starting to look amazing. BUT, there are cracks, new cracks.

I have started catastrophising (sp?) again - my home isn't safe for DS, I was so stupid to even think I could renovate a house, the ceiling will fall in while I sleep. I have failed at everything I wanted to achieve.

I feel sick, pains in my chest, I'm gasping for breath. The thoughts intrude into everything.

I have a structural surveyor coming out tomorrow morning and I can just hear his voice already on the end of the phone telling me it's dangerous and will cost thousands to investigate & repair (that I don't have)

My DP is utterly amazing and rationalises my thoughts and tries to calm me, but my anxiety is affecting him

I have been ok (although still a worrier) for months - and now I am crashing. Having to meditate at work to get through meetings & to focus. What was the trigger? It's as if I stepped back 2 years into fear.

future well done for sticking up for yourself. Little steps in the right direction! You are worth it.

A relapse doesn't mean you are a failure Northumberlandlass. The house sounds like a project. I'm sorry about your dm. Have you spoken to your GP? Will you get a bit of a break over Christmas?

I've bought some books to start writing more trooper but struggling to actually put pen to paper. I'm sure I would feel better for it.

Sending and to help you all through your day x

northumberland the neighbour's garden's has a large tree in it, and it ia long running saga that I'm convinced it is undermining our property and that the ceiling is going to fall down. I had a surveyor round, and he told me cracks were perfectly normal, the tree should be removed andI feel much better. Old houses have stood for 100 years or more, often it is only the new bits that cause movement (concrete additions, concrete based render) the original bits are very flexible Another surveyor once told me that when bombs dropped victorian houses used to bounce off their shallow foundations and survive whereas houses with deeper foundations collapsed. not sure whether to believe that one

Undercover what a foul morning it was, I was up at 6.30 to send dd off, and it was not an optimistic moment I agree with you....lots to do today, none of it fillling me with much confidence However I have bought someone a present which I am able to give them at 10.30, for once I have managed that bit of organising!

northumberland one of the ceilings in my house did once collapse (due to me dropping a v heavy weight on a joist upstairs 4 months prior- a double bed no less) and if you think of catastrophes...well..it fell down, and we repaired it, and so that is the very very worst that can happen.

okay, I am going in to tackle the tv room, the catfood chaos and the piles of paper now, fortified with coffee and wrapping paper/new sellotape.

Thank you both

My DP (rationally) says that the house (which used to be two properties) was empty for 2 years, it's 200 years old on a steep bank, over the last year we have had a woodburner installed, new windows & doors, there has been intensive heat & cold, moisture (because I haven't got an extractor fan in yet).....so all of this is pointing to settlement and will need some work, but is not the catastrophe I am envisaging..... BUT I can SEE cracks where there were none it's like looking at my dream cracking (I know that sounds dramatic)

My anxiety all stems from me not being in control. Which is not an attractive feature. When Mum died, it taught me a lot about letting go and whatever will be will be. That I can't control everything. I just seem to have slipped in the last few weeks.

Mrs I haven't been back to GP yet, but yes I'm off for 10 days over Christmas

Nettle you made me smile about the house.

Nettle - your example of the ceiling is exactly what DP said. If it needs repairing, we'll repair it.

How is everyone this am?

I'm really bad on a Monday :(. I get gradually better the further into the week but I have had reallly poor sleep this weekend which REALLY doesn't help.

Next counselling and hypno sessions not til later in January.

Has anyone used Headpace effectively?

flowers for everyone x

The thing is we all know we're being irrational but that's no help when you're spiralling!

I found headspace ok - I actually looked at some YouTube Meditation Videos. I could have them on my phone with headphones in at work. If I need to find some peace.

I also do a very basic one when trying to get to sleep. I breathe in an 'orange / magenta' colour and breathe out a black colour. I picture the colour going in & out, I count my breathing in through my nose & out through my mouth. I blow the blackness away.

Sorry you struggle on a Monday Trooper

I know tomorrow morning I will spiral, knowing the engineer is coming & I'll be at work waiting for the call of doom!! DP will be there when he arrives.

I started trying choose some dolls for nieces this morning (3 of them) and started to panic! I really cannot make decisions at the moment, keep wondering if they are the right ones, too expensive,they won't like them..weigh too much..can I find address..

it feels a lot easier to just give up and buy them NOTHING than buy the wrong thing.

Non-catrophising me would accept that three run of the mill barbies will be fine, and that ds2 will enjoy helping me choose them this afternoon. When he returns. Where is he????!!!!! have to get a grip.

Hi everyone, I'd like to join please. I developed a severe anxiety disorder during my last pregnancy, it took the form of OCD. It got so bad that I developed post natal psychosis and I got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. So that is my official diagnosis but I think that just now I'm really suffering with generalised anxiety disorder. I get anxiety attacks where I feel truly awful for a few hours. I had one on Saturday. I went to see my kids (I don't live with them) and I had an anxiety attack. It wasn't very nice and lasted about five hours. I've been off all medications for a few months now and I have to say, I am doing quite well. I have had no return of psychosis after coming off antipsychotics after 4 years of being on them. And I've lost about two stones in weight . But today I am feeling quite low, I stopped smoking two days ago and stopping smoking always makes me feel low . I'm hoping my mood lifts in the next few days. I have an appointment with my new CPN on Wednesday, I phoned her this morning cos I was feeling extremely low and she told me to stop phoning her, to only phone her "if my head is falling off". Charming. I used to be able to phone my old CPN whenever I needed support. I've found a support line on the Internet so I might give them a call when they're open later. to everyone who is struggling xx