Bad, bad day.

[Undercoverbanana]

Two severe anxiety attacks at work. I broke things. Fainted once. Don't want to go into details in case it's outing. Boss and bosses boss want a chat with me in the morning. Please reassure me that I'm not going to lose my job or be in trouble. I'm struggling to think rationally.

Anyone? I can't talk about this in RL because I just can't. It's so silly and boring.

What did you break and how did you break it?

Sorry to hear you are having such a bad day. Do you have anyone in real life to talk to?

My dp suffers from anxiety and often is scared that he is in trouble at work, when in fact it couldn't be further from the truth. It's the anxiety making him feel worried and it has no basis in reality for him.

I am sure your bosses just want a chat to see what's going on and work out a way to help you and to help you manage at work. I would be worried if they just ignored you when you are obviously struggling!

Would it be a good idea to go and see your GP for help?

My mug and part of a phone. I don't know how. I was having a panic attack. I cut my thumb and hit my head too.

They have referred me to OH before. It was terrifying. I thought I was having a heart attack.

They have a duty of care to you so if you have hurt yourself they may just want to see you to check how things are.
If it's a big company and they off you the opportunity to see occupational just say 'yes thank you - that might be useful.'
Hope tomorrow goes ok.
Do you know what triggered the PA's

Yes - I know the triggers. I was trying to handle it. It's exhausting and today it failed badly.

Are you getting any treatment?

I take Sertraline.

My mind is racing. I am catastrophising.

Any CBT etc? Is it normally enough or worth a review?
You didn't fail badly. Today wasn't a good day. You hardly smashed the place up. Maybe you need some more strategies?

I just know there is going to be so much drama tomorrow. I just want to be quiet and be allowed to recover but instead it's all going to be dragged up and analysed and I'm going to feel worthless and embarrassed and less than everyone else.

Are you under the care of any professionals
You can call?
If no do you have anything that normally works to help you calm down? Breathing?

Work have a duty of see to you and would struggle legally to fire you for experiencing a period of ill health at work. I’m sure they will be meeting you to offer support in the morning. Honestly.

That's not their role. Sounds more like your depression and fears speaking. Do you have a crisis plan? Worth speaking to GP tomorrow?

And you aren’t worthless or less
Than anyone else. You are probably one of the bravest people
There for trying bloody hard to work through it...and you are succeeding in general by the times. There will always be little set backs, anxiety isn’t a linear illness...but you can do this. Really.

Just GP for the Sertraline. I had hypnotherapy a few years back and was treated for PTSD.

Running calms me down but I'm exhausted. I want to sleep but my mind is all over the place.

I'm sorry but I would get back to the GP. The setraline doesn't sound like it is doing the job at the moment. Can you make an appointment tomorrow?

If you actually lost consciousness I expect the employer would want medical input before you're allowed back to work. If you mean you lost function of your limbs because of the panic messing up your oxygen levels you should explain that, otherwise they may be concerned that there's a physical issue as well.

(I'm not playing down how awful the latter is, they're absolutely horrid and you probably will feel sore for a day or two, your body has had a nasty shock.)

Could you try some yoga? Adriene has some excellent videos (on YouTube) for anxiety. It can be difficult to settle down but give it a few minutes and hopefully it will help.

GP isn't interested. I'm a woman of a certain age so that explains everything. They don't want to know about my foot injuries because I shouldn't be running at my age. They don't actually SAY that, but it's there in the dismissal of the problem.

Bollocks! I'm a woman of a certain age. That doesn't mean I didn't have depression and anxiety. Can you see a different GP? Take someone with you to speak up for you if you don't feel you can?

Here you go. Take care.

Thank you all for listening. I'm going to go out for a run to try to calm down. God knows what's going to happen tomorrow. I already have crippling low self-esteem at work. This is just going to be so shit.

Seriously a run sounds like an awesome idea. But you need a longer term solution. Please see a GP. Different one if necessary. You don't need to feel this way. You deserve better.

Absolutely see a different gp. Age has nothing to do with it. Also google to see if you have a local Mind centre. They often run all sorts of groups for anxiety and depression n sufferers and you can self refer for help with it all, mine does counselling, group work and then mindfulness groups...best thing I ever did getting some counselling to help.

Thank you - will look up Mind Centre.

I felt better out running but I've started thinking about tomorrow again. I think a co-worker might have complained about me. She is pregnant and very princessy. I think she might have complained because I broke things.