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Mental health

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Original poster

please help me

129 replies

sameoldsht · 20/03/2007 16:37

I am a mum of a 7 month old girl. She is driving me crazy. She constantly cries and moans and whinges and I cant cope with it anymore. since she was born she has been a misery and the few lovely moments I get every day just arent enough any more to keep me loving her as i should. I am thinking of putting her up for adoption but care for her too much to want to let her out of my control like that. I dont know what to do. I love her I just wish she would be more pleasant to be around. I hate her as well. Sometimes I want to hit her but i dont but I have shouted shut up at her when she has been continually crying. please help me I love my baby more than anything but I dont like her. I dont think I should have her anymore.

OP posts:

indiajane · 21/03/2007 14:01

How is she at night? Is her feeding ok?

Have you spoken to your psychiatrist and was your DH helpful when you talked to him last night?

Sorry about all the questions. Perhaps a solution is to get some breathing space for a few hours every now and then.. can you afford to use a creche or nursery for an odd morning?

InTheHouse · 21/03/2007 14:03

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This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 14:11

I think I will leave her for 5 mins when she next wakes and see how it goes... I'd love to think she would settle back to sleep but I doubt it. Have always been against cc but thinking of doing it now.

at night she wakes anywhere from every 30 mins to every 2 hours. so its not ideal. She drinks loads of milk (formula) and we are doing blw.

dh was good... he is worried about me. there isnt much he can do as what i reeally need is him home during the day adn he has to work..

OP posts:

KerryMum · 21/03/2007 14:11

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LilRedWG · 21/03/2007 14:11

Everyone else has asked the questions I would, so I'll just say, hang in there. You can do this, you have proved you're a good Mum by being brave enough to post and ask for help.

I hope you did get to speak to your psychiatrist and that he is monitoring your meds for you. Take care.

Original poster

sameoldsht · 21/03/2007 14:18

KerryMum thanks for telling me your story. Unfortunately I havent got any family near who can help... but I am trying the will power thing. Trying really really hard.

DD isnt breast fed... I really think her problem is based in not sleeping enoughso I need to crack that somehow.

lilred and everybody... thanks for talking to me. you got me through wanting to die last night. i still feel very raw today and I still dont know how i am going to cope but it is a little better.

OP posts:

Swizzler · 21/03/2007 14:18

And I fully sympathise on the sleeping at night thing -DS (5 months) is still waking at least every 2 hours and it is knackering.

Will your DD nap in bed with you at lunchtime? If I can get DS to do this we both get a long nap of 1-2 hours, which really helps with the sleep deprivation.

monkeychambers · 21/03/2007 14:19

Just read the thread and wanted to say, everyone is right, help is out there and you can do this.

You are a stong person, the fact you've reached out shows that.

The only tip I have (sorry its not more) when the screaming is too much just put her in the pram and walk, and walk and walk - even if she doesn't go to sleep - at least when you are walking outside there are other sounds that can soothe her and yourself! (You can't hear the yelling so much, when traffic is going by)

Sorry this seems so rubbish considering how you are feeling - but it did help me when nothing would stop the yelling.

Good luck - stay stong - keep talking to people - don't bottle it up inside.

Dior · 21/03/2007 14:20

Message withdrawn

LilRedWG · 21/03/2007 14:22

Sameold - as has just been said, you'll do it one day at a time, and sometimes it may be one hour at a time, but you'll do it!

I'm glad DH is being supportive. When he gets in from work tonight, hand DD over and go out for a walk. The fresh air and the break will do you good. It doesn't matter how cold it is, or if it's raining, get out there and enjoy the big open sky, the break from being stuck at home and the break from your DD! We all should do this occassionally. I quite like an evening walk on my own, with my own thoughts and not having to worry about DD. I had one friend who became very fit, because she used to go out running every night just to work off the frustration of a crying baby.

indiajane · 21/03/2007 14:29

LRW's right - if you can get to do some exercise (running is great) then it can work wonders - giving you something to focus on (the pain ) will help you to keep your perspective. If not running then maybe brisk walking with a target distance to give it a purpose?

LilRedWG · 21/03/2007 14:30

I've just bought a pedometer to shame me into walking more.

InTheHouse · 21/03/2007 14:43

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KerryMum · 21/03/2007 15:13

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KerryMum · 21/03/2007 15:16

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lucyellensmum · 22/03/2007 09:22

same old, hope all is well - i couldnt log on yesterday to check on you cos i was busy being sick, horrible sickness bug, yuck - ive been so worried about you though. I'm glad to see you are hanging on in there - yes, lack of sleep and no break is trying i can fully sympathise. Diors suggestion of M and T is a great one, i go just to keep my sanity and my dd loves it. can't post anymore just now mother on phone dd into everything - ugghhh. keep holding on - sooo proud of you.

AnAngelWithin · 22/03/2007 09:23

morning SOS how are you doing today? take care and be kind to yourself. x x

lucyellensmum · 22/03/2007 09:26

I keep forgetting to say this - im a dozy mare. Have you thought of an organisation called Cry-sis. The number is in the baby book we are all given, or you could google it im sure. Its for parents of crying babies and run by parents of crying babies so you could get to talk to someone who is going through or has been through the same, its confidential too. Just a thought, hope it helps.

KerryMum · 22/03/2007 09:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucyellensmum · 22/03/2007 12:37

www.cry-sis.org.uk I found the link for you, just paste it into the browser. Hope you are ok, best wishes xx

lucyellensmum · 22/03/2007 12:37

www.cry-sis.org.uk I found the link for you, just paste it into the browser. Hope you are ok, best wishes xx

LilRedWG · 22/03/2007 15:14

Hi Sameold - hope that today has been easier for you.

Doulaklaw · 22/03/2007 16:51

Hello Sameoldsht,

It's been suggested that you get medical help, that you try to get out of the house and exercise etc. and we are all desperate to help you find away out of this. It's not fair to have to go through this.

But I wanted to suggest something else that you might consider as a very proactive way of helping your daughter and so helping you.

Cranial Osteopathy

If you feel you can't afford this at all, think of it as being a small price to pay. Ask grandparents for help to do this perhaps?
But please don't think twice about asking the GP or HV if this can be funded through the NHS as you obviously need help now. Get DH to do this if need be, but at least explore this avenue and see if it helps.....

Thinking of you.

KerryMum · 22/03/2007 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mountaingirl · 23/03/2007 08:10

Just to say how brave I think you are for posting sos and you need to get some help. Having no sleep is dreadful, no wonder it is used as a torture method. You must tell all in order to get the correct treatment, no-one will regard you as a bad mother and I'm sure they wouldn't take away your dd. Also the gp needs to check dd to see if she has any physical problems that could cause her to cry like this. I would highly recommend cranial osteopathy for her. Try the cc method, I think we are so often tempted to pick up our babies (nearly always the first) as soon as they cry, I know I did and yet sometimes it is just coz they need to shout, settle themselves back down again. I've just explained and shown this to sil whose 6week old was all set to scream the place down and she was all set to jump. I rocked her a little in her car seat and she fell straight off to sleep, did it again a little while later and we did the same...It won't do your dd any harm to have a yell on her own in another room for a bit and to try and get herself off to sleep, but it will do you some good to leave her. I remember feeling sick with the stress of ds1 when he cried and just couldn't leave him, he was a shocking sleeper for 21/2 years then I went to a homeopath and it helped. My 2 others were always left for a little bit to settle themselves and they did.
Please get help, even hire a babysitter and go out for a bit or go to bed and get some sleep. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. xx

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