Sameoldsht.
I live sort of near you. Closer to Chelmsford that Colchester though. I have got two children, and have felt the same as you both times.
Don't be frightened. You will get through this. I know you will have all sorts of mixed emotions and thoughts - why do I feel like this? I'm a bad Mum, I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate my baby etc. There are literally hundreds of thousands of us that have been where you are now.
If you can go to the postnatal depression alliance (google it) there is a specific page on there for family and partners of PND sufferers that you can show your DH.
I printed it off for my husband with tears rolling down my face, telling him I wanted to die. He was so shocked, and had been so unsupportive up until that point. The page had absolutely everything I'd ever felt on it, and it was a ray of hope, as it made him understand.
Your local health visitor will be able to help you so much. Go and see your Doctor too, the relief you will feel is unbelievable.
Above all, you don't have to suffer in silence. It has been reported that the strongest of people suffer with all different types of depression because they hold things in. Winston Churchill was one. So there you go, you are strong, you just need a little help to realise it.
xx